Episode 13: The Social Media Trick You Need To Know – Name Association

 

Are you searching for a creative strategy to market your brand? Learn the art of name association, a proven game changer with psychology that gets people to buy into you. Do you ever wonder why every time you read gold nuggets, there is a massive chance you will associate it to McDonald’s chicken nuggets? Dive in as we reveal a social media trick you need to know.

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The Social Media Trick You Need To Know – Name Association

Increase Follow, Find Buyers!

This is Quicktime Friday. Every Friday I go into the reviews for iTunes or I grab a topic that I’ve been receiving on social media and I unfold or I’ll just give you some golden nuggets. This is the big nugget that you definitely want to eat. We’re going to be talking about name association and it’s a game-changer with psychology and getting people to buy into you. Remember, buying isn’t about the finances, the financials and making money. It’s about winning the energy. It’s about winning the love. It’s like a king. If someone’s fighting to be a king and there are two gladiators fighting for it, a lot of it comes down to who’s bringing the energy. Who’s getting the audience or the people around to bring excitement into their lives and motivate them? That’s who wins in the end. That’s what name association is all about.

I want to remind you that everything that we talk about here can be implemented in your life. Many times we’re closed off because we have these bias thoughts from society and what society says is good or is bad. For example, one of the things is people that are maybe sexually attracted to the same sex. Many people won’t talk about it. They won’t associate anything with that. They don’t even want to mention that, “I do like guys or I do like girls.” It’s always protected. Why? It’s because of society. Remember, when we talk about everything, name association included, even nutrition or anything, open up your mind and receive it all.

You don't want to just walk on a flat surface and plateau. You want to grow and get up to the top. Click To Tweet

Name association is all about how your approach is or what your delivery is with the words you are choosing in captions and stories on YouTube. It’s something that I’ve developed a skill with through a very long time. A lot of it is subconscious and that’s the most important part of this. Subconsciously tapping into the minds of the people that love you or support you or want to support you or are curious about you. This all comes down to associating some type of word or name with what that caption is or that product is or anything and everything.

Let me give you an example. I own one of the businesses called Sculpt You with under the CreateU agency. We partnered with influencers and we build their businesses. Sculpt You is an amazing business. There are incredible ladies that are a part of it. There are thousands and thousands of incredible members. Before when we were launching it, this girl named Katrina Wright is one of the owners of the company. What we were doing with her was tapping into the launch plan. The launch plans are always important. If you want to release a green juice, if you want to release an essential oil, if you want to release a Botox cream, you always want to provide the steps for your audience or anyone in order to get to the top of that building.

CUE 13 | Name Association

 

I give that example because it’s true. It’s baby steps but you don’t want to walk on a flat surface and plateau. You want to grow. You want to get up to the top. You want to get to the top of the pyramid per se. The way we do this is in a launch plan. We start off with something small. For her business, it was Sculpt You. We might say, “You want to build your body. We evolve in to sculpt your body.” Do you hear that Sculpt You, sculpt your body? We use sculpt in every single caption. We use sculpt in mostly all of the stories. We reference it. We mention it and nobody knows what’s going on and then soon enough we start adding it into #SculptYou. A lot of these businesses are created around that idea of things that might roll off the tongue and you might not even think anything of it.

Another business is The Power Effect. What happens when you’re in the gym? You get this power effect. It’s incorporating those words into each post, story or YouTube video. If we’re going to release a greens juice, for instance, we’re going to mention greens in pretty much anything or juice. You can even use words that surround or describe that word. What about tasty? What about sweet or what about green, the word green or juicing or a nice shake in the morning? I like to drink something that brings a lot of fulfillment that I can get all my vegetables. You talk about name association, this is what it is. This is my own phrase that I’ve come up with. I didn’t look up anywhere. It might be some completely different thing in name association, but this is what I call it. Don’t change something if it doesn’t need to be fixed. This doesn’t need to be fixed at all. I’ve tested it for years and years. Even for me, CreateU. Obviously, it’s a business and at the same time it’s also going to be non-profits. It’s going to be a lot of awesome things that are coming from CreateU HQ, gym and all that stuff. CreateU rolls off the tongue. It’s something simple. It’s create. Do you say to create you? Can we create that? Could we create me? Can we create this? It all surrounds CreateU.

A lot of times, we need money to make even more impact. Click To Tweet

My idea behind it is I can always throw it out in conversations as well. I do it super passively, subconsciously. Let’s say you’re working on something. We’re connecting on a different level. We’re connecting. It’s in my vocabulary to be like, “Definitely we need to CreateU for sure.” I passively say it and it registers subconsciously in the mind of the other person in front of me. They feel connected because CreateU sounds familiar to them. They’re like, “Where does that come from?” Imagine if it was conscious, the subconscious was the conscious mind. You say, “CreateU, I’ve heard of it somewhere. I don’t know.” Your subconscious mind is talking right now, “I don’t know where I’ve heard of CreateU, but it has a good ring to it. I don’t know where it’s from, but that sounds good. It sounds cool.” That’s what the subconscious mind is all about. It has those type of thoughts within its thoughts of no thoughts. This is psychology and it is an interesting thing.

Whenever I say CreateU, CreateU over here, what comes up for you? “Brendan, you’re annoying.” In all seriousness, it registers for you. When something registers for you, it’s almost like if you went to a tryout and there are 25 people there. You’re familiar with one person. You don’t know who he is or you don’t know who she is, but you feel like you know that person. Let’s say for the audition, you get picked and they’re all on the line. You have to go into the line, where do you go? If it’s not organized, you tend to gravitate towards the person that you know. It’s the same exact thing. This is a name association. Whenever you’re going to release something, whenever you’re going to post something, whenever you’re going to share a story, whatever it is, and you want to build something online, you want to make that money and more importantly you want to make that impact. Because let’s face it, a lot of the times we need money to make even more impact. It’s the truth. There are ceilings because of society. It fucking sucks but it is what it is. You’ve got to deal with it and you get one step closer to that. People want to know more. Reference it.

CUE 13 | Name Association

 

Jordan Syatt is an incredible guy. Definitely look him up on Instagram. He’s an awesome guy. He is always talking about unicorns. He has this unicorn coffee I believe or something like that, but he’s always using fairy tale stuff and references Harry Potter and all these different magical stuff. What do people do? They relate to it. They’re like, “This is great.” It’s a genius idea mentioning a unicorn in all of his captions. He was doing that a little bit more in the past, but it’s genius. It’s an amazing idea. You’ll see it time and time again that people that are winning on the next level, on an impact level. I’m not talking about, “I have a good idea that people are buying it quickly or whatever because it’s a fad.” I’m talking about ingraining this in people’s minds. I’m talking about the long-term. I don’t play any short-term games. I don’t go in short relationships. I want a long-term relationship. I want to date. I want to marry. I want to create kids. I want to create a legacy. That’s what it’s all about.

If you’re going to design a business like Sculpt You, if you’re going to design a business like Power Effect, you’re going to design a business like CreateU or any of these businesses, keep that in mind. Let’s say, alphetics. I don’t care. It’s being an athletic and an athlete. You’re going to use that phrase so often or you’re going to use alpha and athletics, alphetics. I’ll give you another example of a business that I own, CalAesthetics. When you think of aesthetics, you think of physique, you think of a beautiful body, well-developed. You also think of cal, you can think of a couple of things. You can think of California. I lived in California at the time or you could think of it as calisthenics. It’s calisthenics and aesthetics put together. Whenever I talk about calisthenics, do you know what people would keep on doing? They would keep on calling calisthenics, CalAesthetics, “I said calisthenics.” It would happen time and time again. This is planned. This is all strategic.

Let me tell you something. If you’re one of those people that are thinking, “That’s manipulation, Brendan.” No, there’s a difference between manipulation and strategy. Strategy, there is a lot of good in that. There’s a lot of juicy shit. It’s moist. It’s all about the delivery and your intentions. If you have good intentions, the delivery is good and it’s clear, it’s not manipulation. It’s a strategy. You’ve learned. You’re processing. You’re implementing. Good for you. That’s what you’ve got to start doing and I don’t see this enough, name association. With every single post, hashtag whatever it is. For me, it’s CreateU. Go to look at my posts. Explain to me why I can hashtag that and I run eight, nine, ten, I don’t know how many businesses I have and still be able to do that. It’s because name association is ingrained in my mind. It’s a part of my everyday discipline.

It’s discipline. That’s what it is. When you discipline, you form the habit after 30 days or whatever. It’s easy and smooth sailing from there. Your business might not be doing the best right now but it will. It will do very well if you keep pushing, you’re strategizing, you’re learning and you’re growing. It’s as simple as that. Name association, incorporate it, do it, CreateU, Sculpt You, Power Effect or any business. I could tell you what I have planned. It’s awesome. Hopefully, that provided you something. I love Quicktime Friday. We get to tap in and talk about this stuff. Name association is so important. I want to talk about more stuff when it comes to business because I know how to build businesses. I’m not going to lie. I won’t lie. I’m also going to keep it humble but I’m going to be also confident in myself.

I know how to build businesses. I can build your business. It’s as simple as that. I generally only work with influencers or people with a big audience. Obviously it is easier 100%. I do not steer away from being transparent. It’s way easier to build a business with an influencer on a bigger scale. Will I build businesses for smaller scale individuals? 100%. Bigger influencers are always where it’s at. It has more impact. I want to impact a billion lives. I personally want to impact one million lives, transform their lives. I want to impact one billion people and know that CreateU hit them in some way, shape or form or they’ve got something from me and I think it’s possible 100%.

If you want to follow me, go ahead on Instagram, @TheBMeyers. I am going through contest prep right now for the first time ever in my life. I’m following my calories, drinking the drink that I’m supposed to drink. I’m taking Creatine HCl. I use the name association because I’m coming out with CreateU Nutrition and that’s my first product, Creatine HCl. Go watch me on Instagram. Watch how often I talk about Creatine HCl. This is name association. Also, check me out on YouTube. I’m always making videos on there, going through the entire journey of body weight to bodybuilding. It’s a cool journey. That’s all I got for you. I’ll see you next time.

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Episode 12: Going “All In,” Online Coaching, & What Success Looks Like with Nick Komodina

 

You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better when you go all in and unleash the beast within you. Founder of Team NK Athletics and Impakt, Nick Komodina shows what success looks like coming from the perspective of a successful personal trainer. Nick is one of the top coaches in the fitness industry, and he breaks down the training method, coaching principles, and mentality he taps into his clients. As he dives into the importance of staying away from the loser mentality and insecurities, he also touches on the effect of childhood traumas, content creation, accepting compliments, and more.

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Going “All In,” Online Coaching, & What Success Looks Like with Nick Komodina

One Of The Top Online Coaches

We have an incredible guest, a good friend of mine, named Nick Komodina. Remember, this is unfiltered. Nick is an astounding entrepreneur. He’s from San Diego. Nick owns NK Athletics. He works with people everywhere, from athletes and influencers, all the way down to everyday people who want to transform from the inside out. That’s the most important. He’s not just a physique coach. I’m nothing against that, but he’s a lot more than that. He really brings a science behind all of his training and his coaching, and taps into the mentality of each of his clients and works with them. It’s not even clients. They’re more so partnerships because they’re building something together. That’s the incredible part. He also is the owner of Impakt and it’s that they impact the world. They impact the industry through apparel and other adventures that they’re going through now and will be evolving through. Nick is an incredible entrepreneur and a great person. He has been showing up on social media every single day with this energy, this love and passion for everyone around them, especially his followers. That’s why I asked him to come here to Denver, Colorado and exceed expectations with anyone of what they thought he might be. Nick, welcome.

Thanks. I’m happy to be here. It’s my first time in Colorado. It’s a lot hotter than I thought it was going to be.

Nick, we talk about your business now that is super successful. You work with people. We went through an entire experience. We dive into the background and some of the knowledge-based training that Nick has formed his business upon and it’s awesome content. You definitely want to check that out. You’re so successful now and you had 300 plus emails from people wanting to work with you. You don’t have a large following. I don’t want to use the word special because I don’t think anyone is special, but what makes you so unique?

I don’t think a following means jack shit. I don’t care if you have 50 followers, 500,000 followers or five million followers. If you’re a shit person, you’re a shit fucking person. I don’t treat anybody different when I meet them and I find out that they have five million followers, I’m like, “What do you need from me? That doesn’t mean anything to me. You’re the same person as I am.”

That relates to why you’re so successful.

I think so because a lot of people almost feel entitled to, “You all follow me, why wouldn’t you coach with me?” They can pump out half-assed content, half-assed efforts and they only get half-assed results and wonder why. They usually blame somebody else. They can’t dive in and say, “I’m not putting my best for it.” My biggest concept ever is everything I do is always my fucking best. I don’t ever put out anything half-assed. I don’t have a large following. Everything I do needs to make that impact.

It’s the 100% mentality. You’re not that 80% guy. You’re not going to go into a relationship at 80%, 90% and everything is relationships. Your successful business is based off of relationships and how you perform is all based off of relationship as well. You provide 100% value all day on social. I even tell people you need one person to believe in you to have them as a client or have them to pay you and to build your successful business or whatever you want in your life.

I 100% agree and this will dive back into the following thing. I talk to a bunch of coaches that go, “I’m starting off. I can’t get any clients. I only have 500 followers,” and I go, “Only 500 followers. You have 500 people in your audience. Sign 10% of them, that’s 50 fucking clients. That’s a full-time coaching business.”

That could be $15,000 at $300 a month.

Nobody thinks like that. They think, “I don’t have a following so I can’t do anything.” What does your material look like? What do you look like? Here’s the thing. Every single one of my clients, I’m very upfront that I’m a no bullshit type of coach. There are so many excuses I’ve heard. I don’t deal with them. I don’t tolerate them. I tell everybody I work with that every single person, you all have this internal fucking beast in you to be successful in careers, school, relationships, the gym, your physique, your diet and the only thing stopping you is that you have no idea that it exists. I know it exists. If you work with me, I pull back everything that makes you uncomfortable. After working with someone for two weeks, I know and I can tell you’re not comfortable doing this. What do I do? I make them do that. They grow and they become better. All of a sudden, we rip them open and pull out this beast. They’re like, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I’m like, “Good.”

If you don’t create yourself, you’ll never be able to create anything else in your life. You’ll never be able to create that business. You won’t create that relationship. You won’t be able to create that house that you want with those kids or anything. What you’re getting at is all the shit that we’ve added onto our life over time, telling ourselves and doubting ourselves that because of what society says.

We grow up hearing no. That’s our society. “No, you can’t do that.” “No, you can’t drop out of college and start your own business.” “No, you can’t eat carbs or you’re going to get fat.” “No, you can’t do carbs.” I fucking love carbs.

Do you like pizza?

I love pizza.

Do you like hamburgers?

I love hamburgers. Cheeseburger is better.

Do you really? Why?

Yes, because it’s cheese.

That’s science right there. Is that a part of the NK Athletics principle?

Yes. Cheese on burgers always.

CUE 12 | Going All In

 

Let’s shift because this is what I love to do. I love to make these things all over the place.

Do you know what else is the good thing? Then you know who’s bullshitting and who’s not because they can’t keep up.

When you apply these principles to everyone. We were training and you explained yourself so well. I have my exercise physiology degree. I wasn’t going to argue. I wasn’t going to be pissed off or anything. I mentioned something about your training method. I have zero complaints because you explained yourself in a way that I understood like, “Brendan, if you want to go for power or being explosive, you’re going to use these two fingers a little bit more or use that thumb. We’re working towards building that specific muscles. Those lats or the low traps or the rhomboids or the rotator cuff muscles. Where did you learn all that shit?

To be completely honest, this is something that everybody, when I tell them they’re like, “What?”

Was it like books are us?

I went to community college for a year and a half. I was majoring in Kinesiology. I dropped out because college isn’t for me. I started personal training at a gym. I was there for two years. I and the guy fell out and I opened up my own gym. I had that for three and a half years. I was doing hands-on personal training from 5:00 AM until 9:00 PM for five years. I was doing my own research on top of that. Anything I read, any studies I saw or any videos I watched, I was able to take that and immediately put it on people. See how it works on every single person and be like, “Why don’t you try doing this?” Being able to like physically see somebody go, “I feel that,” and drilling that in my brain for six fucking years. Experience is the number one teacher in this entire world. That’s how I learned all that.

I did something a little bit different. I went from my exercise physiology degree. There’s no problem with going to school and all of that. That’s a whole different topic. You can go to school. I think it’s great. I also think it’s bullshit in a lot of fucking ways.

You and I have the same standpoint.

We also have the same energy. We’re also great boxers. With the principles and everything that you’ve learned, that’s very interesting because you talk about you had your own gym. Someone that’s reading this and they’re like, “I want to build a gym,” or “I want to be a successful coach. I want to make $10,000, $20,000, $30,000, $40,000, $50,000.” We throw these around like it’s whatever. Not everyone makes as much as they say they do. I’ll put that out there. They bullshit a lot. From that standpoint, if someone’s reading this and they’re reading all this stuff, what mistakes and stuff did you consume and embrace to get past so you could build the gym, you could go on personal training in a different way and coach and be successful with all this stuff? What did you have to go through?

Number one was that I was very impatient. The first opening I got, I was like, “I need to take that,” even if it wasn’t ideal like signing up with the dude who was my boss. It was a terrible environment but I was stuck in it because I was too impatient. I went right straight through it. When I opened my gym, I had a lot of clientele at first. I started getting too overwhelmed. I got too tired. I stopped giving a shit about my effort and showing up for my clients. I felt entitled because I opened a gym. “I’m 21 years old. I own my own gym. You guys can come here and train. You can be fine if I’m not as present in your session for a little bit because I’m tired.” People started dropping off and I didn’t understand.

Settling for a life is just as bad as losing. Click To Tweet

Until finally, I had that kick in the ass. One of my clients was like, “It’s like I don’t even train with you anymore.” They were like, “You just stand there. When you were at the other gym, you were all on my shit. You wouldn’t let me slack. You told me to do fifteen reps. I did six and you didn’t even notice.” That was like a smack to my face. I was like, “Dude.” You have to keep showing up for people. We get so comfortable and this even goes further than business. This is relationships and friendships. We get so comfortable and we start feeling so entitled that we stop showing up. When people stop showing up for us, we go, “What the fuck?” That’s a catch-22.

I don’t want to go too fast because what you said is that when people say something to us, we could say something to someone else and be like, “Fucking cool. Suck it up.” Once we hear back, it’s like, “Whoa.” What if we took the stance with building our own businesses and building our relationships in the same way? We’re like, “I don’t want to be treated wrong. Why would I ever reciprocate that?”

You have to give what you want. You can’t expect to get something you’re not giving. It’s like respect. Respect is given, not earned.

For you, you weren’t giving that same respect.

Not at all and people were going, “Why the fuck would I pay you money?” I couldn’t grasp that concept so I lost a ton of clients. I was struggling. I was eating Top Ramen. I was like, “How am I going to keep this gym open? I’ve got to get back on my bullshit,” and I had the surge of motivation. I started promoting myself. I got more clients in. Once I got my clientele back up, the same shit happened. I got in this toxic cycle. Finally, I broke it because I started telling myself when I had to figure out that motivation is so temporary. Motivation is not constant and nobody understands that.

Motivation and discipline are two different things. Do not use them in the same instance.

I always use this concept for this and that’s people who work jobs or going to school when you wake up in the morning to your alarm at 4:00, you are not fucking motivated to stop that and get out of your warm bed and get ready for work. You are disciplined to do so because you have to go to work if you want to get paid. You have to show up if you want to get the reward. That principle and that discipline need to be in every single thing we do in our life.

The problem is, Nick, is that’s the way society is set up now, you don’t have to show up as much anymore to have some money. It’s not about vision. I’m not talking about vision. I’m talking about just for money. You don’t need to show up as much. You see it all the time now. As a coach, for instance, someone could have 100 clients and put work in. They’re still getting paid. People don’t want to stay on, but yet they keep on coming in because someone has a following or whatever it is and they’re not truly providing so much value. They don’t have discipline in that value, but yet they’re still getting paid. It doesn’t mean that their visions come into life, but they’re still getting paid. It’s a problem in society all the time is that we consume this idea that we don’t have to give it our all, all the time. “I’m getting some of this or I’m getting some of that or I’m getting a little bit leaner or this girl does like me. Our relationship is okay, so I don’t have to try as hard.” It’s like, “What the fuck can we do to create people?” For anyone in this world to take the stance of all or nothing. You either go all in and you don’t cheat yourself or you go all out and you don’t cheat yourself.

Here’s the thing. Not everybody is like that. Everybody has it. Everybody has that beast inside of them. Not everybody in their life is going to find it and bring it out. We need that because we need janitors. We need desk workers. We need customer support at AT&T. We need them.

People go all in on those things as well. Let’s say someone’s circumstance. They come from Mexico and they come into the United States. They do a lot of the jobs, the hard fucking working jobs that a lot of Americans don’t want to.

CUE 12 | Going All In

 

I can’t even tell you how many, especially in San Diego, because we’re right there. I can’t tell you how many Mexican entrepreneurs there are that start their own landscaping businesses and have a crew of fifteen guys who work under them and knock out 20 to 30 houses a day at a $100 a house. There are always going to be those people who know. “I want to create the best life for myself possible. I can’t stop working until I do it.” There are those people that go, “I’m getting a solid paycheck. I have enough money to go get drunk once a week. I’m cool.” That’s not me. That’s not my clients. That’s not anybody I work with because I don’t allow them to do that.

This is what he’s saying is that number one, show up. If you want something in return, show up. Number two, don’t fall into the trap of what society brings to the table in like, “It’s okay.” It’s not okay. It’s as simple as that. It’s not okay. Don’t do it and before I say anything else, I do want to tap back into this and this is my number three. You said that not everyone, in their lifetime, would be able to go all in or be 100% or show up even though the beast is inside them. Why not?

That’s such an open-ended question because everybody has it, but you could say something like, “They don’t have the discipline to do so. They didn’t have somebody in their life. They didn’t have a mentor. They didn’t have a coach. They didn’t have somebody who gave a shit about them enough to help them level up.” I don’t care who you are. There’s no such thing as a self-made millionaire. There’s no such thing as a self-made anything. Everybody successful has somebody more successful than that they looked through that help them elevate. You don’t do it on your own. Sometimes people either have too much pride to ask for help, but some people want to say, “Brendan is successful because he got lucky he has Instagram followers.” Do you know how many people probably say that? Like, “Fuck Brendan. He’s successful. He got an in at the right time.”

You have a lot of truth to what you’re saying. That beast is inside of everyone. Not only can you bring that beast and unleash that. You can and you will if you stay true to your vision of what you want and you’re consistent and disciplined. It might not be easy. It’s not going to be easy. Nothing’s ever easy, but the beautiful thing is it’s coming. It most likely won’t come at the perfect instance. It never does. This is research. Stay on the path of whatever you want to do and take that leap of faith. Remember, when you take that leap of faith, do it with baby steps. You also said something about support. You touched on support. I want to talk about this because we don’t, especially you and I. I can say this because I know Nick and I know myself. We’re very similar. We want to get things done on our own. We want to make it happen. We want to make things happen as quickly as possible.

We’re doers. We’re getting done. We’re not talkers.

As doers, as promoters and as controllers in these senses, we don’t see the support sometimes.

It’s mostly because people aren’t on the same wavelength as us. If you look at you and me, I’ve been in Colorado for four hours and Brendan and I have already sent off an email to start a business together. That’s what happens when you go around like-minded people who get shit done. The whole saying of like, “You are who you surround yourself with.” If you’re not in a system that’s supportive and this can even be your own fucking family. I had to cut out my family, 99% of my family. People are like, “I love my family.” I love my family to death, but they’re losers in life. They’ve dead-end jobs. They’re not happy. They complain about everything and I had to say, “I can’t be up on this energy.”

I don’t think you mean it in the way that people are going to read this and think like, “They’re fucking losers? This Nick guy is a dick face.” You’re not a dick face. This is what I’m going to say is that what he means by losers, it means that he’s wanted something for them his entire life. This is what he’s trying to say. He’s wanted something his entire life to see them grow and do the things that they’ve always loved to do and always wanted to do. Maybe the relationships, not the best, whatever it is in their own life, whatever it is, but they’ve settled.

For me, settling for a life that’s average is as bad as losing. For me, that’s a loser mentality. I can’t be around that mentality. I love them with all my heart. I’m always there for them but as far as me, putting myself in that environment, it’s not helping me. That’s like putting a plant in a dark room and expecting it to grow. It doesn’t unless it’s an air plant. I don’t think succulents grow.

Basically, what I did was we had the mafia in front of us and they all had big ass AK-47s even though they don’t use AK-47s. That’s science right there. They were pointing their guns at you. I came in, I was like, “I’m Italian.” That’s true. They need two to tango. I came in there and I said, “You need to relax,” and we pulled you out. Now, everyone knows that being a loser is like having that losing mentality. I’m going to shift the jokingness into seriousness. It’s having that losing mentality and you don’t want to have that losing mentality all the time. We’re going to, I have it sometimes. I’m not going to bullshit.

Even when you lose something, it can always be a win. Click To Tweet

There’s got to be that balance.

When you can get yourself out of that losing feel, that’s when you’re going to start seeing things blossom all around you.

This is something that we joke about, but it’s super serious and this is a mindset that needs to be there for anybody to be successful. You said this and I said it, but we were joking, but it’s also true. Even when I lose, I’m still winning. We take a loss as, “That didn’t work,” instead of, “Fuck this, I’m going to give up.” I’m like, “Why don’t I try that one? That one worked.” A loss doesn’t have to be a loss. It shows that it doesn’t work.

Do you know what it does? When you lose, it gives you an insight into the path to winning. When you lose, you find out all the information that you need to bring your vision to life. If you tap into that loss, you embrace that loss and you learn from it, it becomes a fucking experience because experiences create you.

To go off of that, this is something that I talked to my competitors a lot about. It’s very easy for a competitor to go on stage and think, “I’m going to win,” and they lose and all motivation for the sport goes out the window because it’s devastating. You’ve dieted your ass off. You’ve suffered and they go on and not going to win. You go, “I lost. I’m not good in this sport.” I go, “Everybody loses. There’s not a single person in this sport or anywhere in the world that’s not lost.”

I tell them your path in competing to get that pro card, to get that Olympia title, you might have to lose. I’m a huge believer in like most of our path has already been pre-determined and we have the ability to uncover it as we go and we can take different paths.

Do you think that we have different paths?

There’s a DNA strand of paths and we can figure out which one that we want to go on but we have to search. We have to get uncomfortable if you want to go down that one. If that path for them is to get that pro card and get that win, there might be six losses they have to go through. You have to lose another five times before you get to that goal. You just knocked one off. Your one loss is closer to that win. If you lose that first time and you go, “Fuck this, I’m done,” you are done.

Nick, you talk about losing. Where have you lost in your life?

It’s pretty much nowhere. I’m a winner because when we lose, we win. I’ve lost a lot. Even losing comes down to more than just business aspects. I’ve lost in friendships. I’ve lost in relationships.

CUE 12 | Going All In

 

Give us an example in one area of your life where you’ve lost and hurt.

My most recent relationship, I didn’t show up. It’s the same thing. We got comfortable, stopped showing up and lost. There’s obviously a lot more that peels back for stuff like that, but it’s the same thing for friendships. Even when you lose something, it can always be a win. When I was in high school and college, we had a huge group of buddies. We were best friends. I got down this path of drinking, where I was in a bad spot. I said I wanted to take a whole year off. It was like my New Year’s resolution. I was like, “I’m not going to drink alcohol for an entire year.” It took me one month to lose every single friend that I thought I had. That felt like a loss to me. I look back and I’m like, “Did you guys became only my friends because I was fucking drinking?” I think places, where we lose, are contextual to that moment because when I stopped getting invited going out, it made me feel terrible. Now I look back at it and that’s one of the biggest losses I’m the most grateful for, was getting away from that. I don’t even know if closing my gym was counted as a loss because I had to do that to pursue online coaching. It felt like a loss because it was like, “I can’t keep this gym open anymore.” I wanted to be able to do both.

You want to win all the time, but that’s okay. Those losses are so important. You talk about in that alcohol stint, like you were going again and again. It’s fucking tearing you down. It was destroying you. A lot of people that are reading right now or friends of ours that struggle. I have friends all over that struggle with something that they’re either addicted to, it’s an addiction. I think that we have addictions because of lack of discipline in other areas of our life. It’s unfortunate because of cigarettes. There are things that are truly addictive that bring out the addictive personality even more in us. As humans, we’re addicted to relationship and so we’re connected. We came out of our mom. All of us did, but our lives depend on this or so we thought, these relationships with everything.

You want people to like you and if people don’t, you’re addicted to having people like you. No matter who you are, somebody doesn’t like you. If you and I met and it was all good for you and I was like, “I don’t fucking like that guy.” It would eat at you a little bit. It doesn’t bother you, but you’re like, “Why doesn’t Nick like me? I want him to like me. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

Let’s shift right now because this is gold where we’re going. When someone doesn’t like you, it’s not you, it’s them.

It’s 100% them. It’s their insecurities and you are every single insecurity they have. You personify what they want to be and they feel inadequate too. They see that in you and they go, “He sucks,” because they want other people to look at you and say, “He sucks.” They think if people like you, then on the flip side, it must mean that nobody likes them because you guys are the opposite. If I love vanilla ice cream, I’m not going to like chocolate ice cream as much. I’ve got to be honest. I’m not a huge chocolate fan.

Why?

I don’t know. Childhood trauma? Childhood traumas play a bigger role than people think in their lives. Are we shifting?

Nick, do you have any childhood trauma? Do you have anything that you haven’t talked about? That’s the juice that I like to get into.

We can get into this juice because I work with Megan. Those of you who don’t know, Megan is a therapist that Brendan has referred me too. I love her.

Attraction is built based on energy. Click To Tweet

She’s a life coach. Every coach should have a coach. If you don’t have a coach, every successful person should have a coach. Get a coach. If you don’t have a coach, find a coach.

I’ve been working with Megan. Megan has been very good at peeling back my bullshit and saying, “Why do you do this? Why do you do that?” In my life when I was growing up, my dad wasn’t around at all. He left when I was about two years old. I never grew up with him. When I was growing up, that never bothered me. It was just my mom and me in our tiny little trailer park. I felt like I had everything. My mom sacrificed so much. There was never a point where I was like, “This sucks,” or like “Where’s my dad?” My mom was such a good parent that I never had those feelings, but deep down you do. As a kid, even if you’re not cognizant, deep down there is that, “Why the fuck isn’t my dad around? Why am I not good enough?”

This is the shift that I’m talking about. You said to me, “I don’t care that my dad wasn’t in my life. Do I love him?” I was like, “Did you ever miss him or anything?” “Whatever, my mom was incredible. She was amazing.” Those layers were so fucking thick. Remember what I said? I said, “Nick, I guarantee you not only do you miss him, but you do love him.”

I said, “I don’t know,” and to be honest, I still don’t know. There are so many things in our life, in our past that can affect us right now that we don’t even think about. My layers were so thick. It was so buried in my subconscious, but the subconscious affects our habits. It affects how we react to things. It affects our addictions. Unless we identify our toxic traits, addictions, etc. and be able to pull back the layers and figure out why we do them, we’re always going to have them. You could be addicted to fighting because your dad beat the shit out of you and you don’t even remember it. You know fighting’s bad, but until you dive in and figure out the reason I want to fight is that I always felt inadequate when my dad beat the shit out of me, so it makes me feel empowered to beat the shit out of somebody else. That’s a crazy egg to crack for someone to be like, “That’s why I fight because that’s what makes me feel like a man.” I blew some people’s minds.

That was like a nuclear bomb. I feel all the energy smacking me in my face. I’m like, “A nuclear bomb.” The truth is, it’s not even only your parents. It’s everything and everyone. I talk about this a little bit more about my brother and how I felt. I’ve done some horrible things myself that I’m not proud of by any means, but they were learning lessons. There was one time that I put my hands on my sister, one time. I threw her away from me.

Did she deserve it though?

No, but I’ve done a couple of things and me throwing my sister was something that was a pain within myself that I didn’t know how to control. I used to be proud of saying, “I have anger problems,” because it felt like I was a badass. I was empowered. Everyone was like, “He has anger problems. He’s powerful. He can do whatever.” It was a dominance thing because I didn’t even fucking know what being submissive meant. Being submissive isn’t a bad thing all the time. You’re allowing the other person or something else in your life to give you information so that you can learn about it. That’s living a neutral life, like feminine energy and masculine energy.

The perfect combination of those is the definition of Alpha. A lot of people think Alpha is a douchebag, “I’ve got anger problems. Talk shit and I’ll fuck you up.” When a real Alpha is, if someone’s like, “Do you want to fight?” You’re like, “Why would you want to fight me for? What is the reason that you want to fight me? I’m not going to fight you. I don’t need to fight you to prove myself as a man. Let’s talk about it.” More oftentimes than not, the dude who’s trying to start shit isn’t an Alpha. You’re like, “It’s cool. We don’t have to fight. I don’t need to fight you to prove my manhood. I know I have it.” That’s Alpha.

Women, watch out, NK Athletics, Nick over here is going to stare you in the eyes and you’d be like, “I know I got it.” Now, we’re into content creation. This is an incredibly empowering moment. Let’s dive in. When you create, when you are posting something on your story, when you’re posting whatever, what type of value is that? What does it mean to you to post something to your followers? On a scale of 0 to 100 being, “I fucking love every single thing that I say to my followers and I’m passionate about it, I take time with it. I’m open. I’m vulnerable,” to all the way down to zero being, “I don’t really do that.” Where does that fall for value for you when you’re posting?

I have to go in the middle because I do both. I give a huge shit about my followers. I respond to almost every DM. People were like, “You responded.” I always respond with videos. If somebody asks me a question, I record myself on Instagram and I talk to them. Everyone was like, “I can’t believe how personable you are.” I’m like, “You follow me. You support me. I appreciate the fuck out of you.” When I go to posts informative content, I make sure it’s something that’s going to apply to a bunch of people who have the same issue. My one on caffeine that I was telling you about, people over abuse caffeine and they don’t understand how it works. They don’t understand how much it negatively affects them.

CUE 12 | Going All In

 

I was like, “Here’s the science behind it. Maybe we should all chill on caffeine a little bit.” Do you know what happened? I started getting tagged in 50 stories a day. People were like, “I’m switching to decaf. I’m monitoring my intake,” and three, four days later, people were like, “I never felt so good in my entire life.” Having just that one post that I was like, “This can help people,” and seeing people trust me enough to say, “I’m going to implement this because I trust Nick,” and being like, “I felt the best I’ve ever felt,” is like that puts me on 100. I’ll also post on my story like, “What’s up? I’m out taking shots of vodka.” I’m a real person. I don’t put on this facade of like, “I’m Nick, the trainer,” always. I’m like, “Here’s a fucking informative post. I give a shit about my clients, but I also like to party.”

I like that because you’re talking about a spectrum of value. I believe it’s all value because even when you don’t need to post something, even when you don’t need to provide value, you’re still bringing something to the table. You’re still giving. You’re still providing something so that people know the real you. You’re showing up. That’s what you’re doing. You’re bringing the vulnerability. You’re bringing the authenticity behind, “Not only can I tell you about caffeine,” and go there, even though it’s a little nerve-wracking like, “How are people going to respond?” You want to make sure what you’re talking about but you’re also saying, “I’m a regular fucking dude that goes and takes shots sometimes with friends and dances on countertops.”

I think when it goes back to how many followers people have and how they treat their following and their customers, their clients, etc., it’s like you’re not above anybody. I see so many influencers. People DM them like, “I love you so much,” and they don’t even respond. I don’t know if you follow GaryVee. GaryVee has hundreds of thousands of followers and he’s like, “I respond to every single fucking comment.” You have girls with 100,000 followers that are like, “No, 32 comments. No, I don’t have time.” We went on Pacific Beach in San Diego and I had two followers DM me. They were like, “We’re in Pacific Beach right now. We’re visiting San Diego. Can we meet up?” I was like, “Yes, I’m at the backyard right now. I will wait for you guys to get here. Let me know when you get to the front line because I know the security guards. I’ll let you guys in.” I got them in and we had drinks and we enjoyed ourselves and it was sick. They’re people.

The truth is that you are not better than anyone.

You think because somebody looked at your profile and hit follow, all of a sudden, you’re on this fucking pedestal above them. It’s an app. What happened when Instagram crashed for eight hours? People lost their minds. Do you know what I did? Nothing. I was fine. I didn’t even notice. I got back to my normal work day and by the time I looked back at my phone again, it was working again. Twitter was like, “Is everybody’s Instagram down?” It’s insane how people can take an app like Instagram and feel like they’re God’s gift to this earth because of it. It makes no sense to me.

This is another topic. Don’t just settle for one social media platform. Create you outside of one platform. I’m talking about relationships and network. I’m in Denver, Colorado. You are too. This is where we are and I’ve met so many people. I walk into a door and I’m like, “How are you? I went through from LA. What’s your name?”

This is funny because I put this on my YouTube channel when we were filming that we were on the bridge. There are these two guys asking us for places to shoot photos. They were like, “We’re doing product shots right now.” Brendan parked up, walked right over to these guys, shook their hand and was like, “I’m Brendan, what’s your product?” It was a belt without holes. Brendan was just like, “This is great. What do you guys do? Where are you from? Here’s this. How can I help you guys get better?” I said, “That’s a fucking businessman. That’s an entrepreneur. That’s somebody who doesn’t put themselves above people but genuinely wants to see everybody create themselves at their highest level. That’s a successful person.”

The reason why I did that, two young guys, is because you never know who they are. You never know who they’re connected to. You never know what they’re trying to create and what smile you can bring to their day. You don’t know if they’re suicidal. You don’t know if they hate someone. You don’t know if they’re about to go fucking shoot someone. You don’t know shit. You don’t know if their mom has cancer. You don’t know anything, so what did I do? I said, “What do you guys do?” I was able to create their vision a little bit in their minds and ignite it and they glowed. Do you know what I did? I said, “What do you do?” One of the kids said, “I’m a programmer.” I’m like, “No shit. I’ve been trying to create an app and someone’s been bullshitting me for the longest time. I’ve also wasted $27,000 on an app.” My point is that I now have a connection with a programmer that could potentially build an entire app.

That was purely from Brendan being the type of guy that he is, which is a positive person. Brendan’s energy is disgusting. It’s disgusting in a way that it’s almost overbearing if you’re not used to it because he’s such a positive person. He wants to talk to people when he wants to. He wants everybody who comes into contact with to feel positive when they leave him. I admire the fuck out of it because I’m the same way. You and I are a lot alike. Everybody who I’ve seen Brendan come in contact to is left in a positive way and you don’t see that anymore. You see people walking on the street, neck fucking broken looking down at their phone attitude, “Why are you talking to me?” Brendan is like, “What’s your name? What do you do?”

It’s hard for me to even accept that. I’ve never been able to acknowledge myself or not never. I used to not be able to and when someone would acknowledge me, I’d be like, “Your hair’s nice.” It would be so weird. It’s like, “Why aren’t you accepting it?” and it hurt and it harmed my relationships because I wasn’t acknowledging other people for acknowledging me. It’s because I was insecure. I was fucking insecure about everything. It’s like, “No, am I that nice of a guy? Do I care that much? Do I want to be on a pedestal? No,” even though I was.

You can't create anything until you create you. Click To Tweet

I think everybody wants to be. You’re stupid if you say you don’t want people to look at you in that type of light. You’re a liar. Nobody wants to be like, “I wish people thought I was base level.” Nobody wants that. I’m the same way when people compliment me. When I grew up in high school, I was the ugly, skinny kid. This is something that harmed my relationships a lot and like, I can talk about it now, but I never got attention from girls. I’m confident in myself as a man now in terms of my looks, my physique and my confidence going forward. Even to this day, if we go out at a bar and a good looking woman approaches me and talks to me, I’m like, “What?” It still throws me off because I’m still mentally like that dude from high school.

Do you know what’s very interesting about this? Number one, you’re good looking and you carry incredible energy and you’re squirming. Coming from one dude to another, out of respect. It’s empowering to me hearing this from you because I have shifted from that. I’ve been able to shift from that. I’m going to drop off some food to this beautiful woman. She’s beautiful. I’m going to be real. I’m dropping food off to her because I respect our friendship and everything, but I don’t feel uncomfortable if she were to tell me, “I like you,” anymore or like, “I do want to pursue this.” I do get uncomfortable about how much am I going to text her? I don’t want to take the extra step with her like, “What if I do drop off food to her and she looks at me weird like you think that we’re more than friends?” The truth is that I’ve shifted from that mentality and I’ve been able to, in those instances, be so comfortable with the uncomfortable that this is what it is. If everyone else is telling me that I am a good looking guy, there must be something. It probably is the tip of my nose and I need to start showing it. Do you know what I’m saying?

I know exactly what you’re saying. What you said is you get used to and this is what I told you. When I work with people, I see what makes them uncomfortable and I make them do more of it. If people compliment you and it makes you uncomfortable, I’m going to put you in a position where more people are going to compliment you because eventually, it becomes comfortable. You get used to it. Think of the first time as babies we ever started trying to walk. It was fucking hard. It was uncomfortable. We would fall. We didn’t want to try because it sucked. When you fell, it hurt. Eventually, you got used to it. Embracing what makes you uncomfortable and being able to say like, “I don’t do well when people compliment me and it’s affecting my mindset. It’s affecting my relationships with people. I need to get better at accepting compliments.” The only way to do that is to start accepting compliments.

It’s seeing that when it happens and it’s in a compliment, but sometimes we block it out and we don’t even know it’s a compliment.

Somebody will have the defense mechanisms like, “You’re making fun of me.” They walk up and like, “You are super handsome.” You like to look around like, “Are your friends fucking laughing right now?” Go to that ugly dude. I bet you won’t. I bet you won’t go hit on him. You’re like, “You’re a solid ten and I’m a six on a good day with my hair done. What’s going on?”

The truth is that we’re always beautiful in someone’s eyes and that’s something that we need to take in every single day. We are always beautiful in our friend’s eyes or our mom or our dad. Do you know where all that beauty comes? It comes from how you show up with other people and the relationships and the energy you give off.

The attraction is built based on energy. There’s physical when you first start. To approach somebody, you have to be physically attracted to them. What gets people to stay, what gets people to form that relationship with you? I don’t want to say addicted to you, but crave your energy and crave you is your energy that you put out. You can be the best-looking person in the world, but if your energy sucks, nobody’s going to stick around. It comes down to how you show up for other people. That took me such a long time to grasp fully with every single person in my life, whether it be girlfriend, friend, business partner, mom, clients. Everybody needs and deserves a certain amount of your energy and for you to show up to them. Otherwise, they drop off, they stop working with you, they stop coming around, or they break up with you because energy has to be balanced.

Everything in life is a balance. It’s black and white. I don’t even have much else to say about the balance thing.

It is what it is.

Everything it’s encompassing about is creating. It creates you, so you can create everything else in your life so it can blossom, so it could truly be what you’ve always wanted.

CUE 12 | Going All In

 

You can’t create anything until you create you. You can’t have a relationship with somebody. You can have a successful business unless you create the energy inside of yourself to do so and maintain them.

Discipline, consistency and passion, all these words, everything that you do in your life are so dependent on how you show up for yourself every day. We’re going to summarize this thing. This is a lot of different value and this is exactly how I personally want to show up with every single person that comes on here, is because there’s so much to talk about, so why not tap into and dabble with everything.

What’s crazy is when you get two people that are passionate and you start talking about things. How things can bleed over to other things and that’s what we talked about. You don’t think that something negative in your past can bleed over to everything else. Look at how inter-webbed and far out this show went from rolling things into another. That’s how everything’s going to be.

This was everything I could ask for and more. Nick, NK Athletics, Impakt, to everybody that knows this man, thank you. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story and getting vulnerable with everyone. Thank you for going there and standing for other people that are reading. It’s not only about you, but it’s also about everyone around us and the impact that we can create. Thank you so much, Nick, for joining us. I appreciate everyone that reads this. Remember, if you want to receive seven incredible items free, My Ab Up Program, I have My Fat Loss Meal Plans, a bunch of things and goodies that I give to you, go ahead into iTunes. It’s my way to give back and to say, “Here’s something for you.” I also teach you how to build your business and stuff absolutely free. I’m just asking for a review on iTunes and I think that’s a cool way to give back. It’s a pretty good trade. If you want to check out Nick, where can they find you?

You guys can find me on Instagram and YouTube. That’s the two that I utilize. Both of them are just my name, Nick Komodina. I’m the same on anything. Literally, any social media you want to find me on Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat, everything is Nick Komodina.

Check him out on Instagram. Check him out on YouTube if you do want coaching or anything like that. Seriously, he’s the man. Nick, thank you for joining us. Everyone out there, go create you. Go be who you’ve always wanted to do and not hold back. Do not doubt your dreams and your goals because it’s true. Not only can you make them happen, but you can make them happen quicker than you could ever imagine if you keep on chugging. We’ll see you next time.

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About Nick Komodina

CUE 12 | Going All InNick Komodina is the founder of Team NK Athletics & Impakt. As the owner of several businesses, Nick has amounted to great success as an influencer, podcaster, coach, and athlete.

With his most recent adventures, he has become one of the top coaches in the fitness industry and trains hundreds of athletes every month!

Episode 11: I Once Hated Bodybuilding… But Then This Happened

 

Bodybuilding is an excellent physical activity that can contribute to our physical well-being while increasing muscle size. Brendan has been doing bodyweight training for years, but for a week now, he’s been doing bodybuilding and learning about his body on a different level. He says that as you get into your bodybuilding workout, you’ll recognize that it’s more than just the bodybuilding movement. It’s about the process and the experience of being uncomfortable and allowing yourself for all the things that come up, and embracing those things and moving forward. Learn more about the great benefits of bodybuilding as Brendan shares more information and what he’s learning about it firsthand.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts —

Listen to the podcast here:

I Once Hated Bodybuilding… But Then This Happened

From Bodyweight To Bodybuilding

If you’re new here, every single Friday, what we do is we tap into a question that was written on a review or a question that was messaged to me on Instagram at the @TheBMeyers or something that’s on my YouTube in my comment section. Every Tuesday, I have a guest or I dive into something. We flow with it. That’s what I love about these shows, it’s all about the flow state. This is going to be an interesting talk because I’m starting my cut. I’m already about a week-and-a-half into my cut and into bodybuilding movements. It’s an interesting journey that I’m taking on. I wanted to discuss it, my opinion on bodybuilding, my opinion on body weight training and the whole nine yards of transferring over.

Once my journey is made, the body weight to bodybuilding series on YouTube, I am going to create another episode about my official thoughts on my bodybuilding journey because it’s unique. I haven’t done any type of bodybuilding movements for freaking years, ever in my life. In seventh grade, that’s where I started. When I talk about bodybuilding movements and bodybuilding workouts, I’m more specifically talking about rep ranges, frequency and isolation work. I never loved the isolation work. I am all big into the biomechanics of the body. With that comes the functionality of the body. I take a lot of pride in many different variations and movements and building a body through bodyweight training, which 100% is possible. I’ve done it through my body evolution experience on YouTube. I’ve lived by it for a few years. Buckle up. This is going to be a fun episode.

Bodybuilding Is Interesting

Let’s start off with saying bodybuilding is interesting. It’s interesting. This is something that not many people know. When I started, I was uncomfortable with even stepping into the gym and even looking at my mirror while I’m training or even doing any isolation work on machines. I like to be vulnerable and transparent. I felt like a regular ass guy. I felt like I was a regular dude in the gym. That was the one thing that I’ve worked towards getting away from my entire life. That comes from scarcity in my own mind and my own insecurities, which I’ve evolved from that. At that moment, the first workout for bodybuilding, I was like, “What am I doing? I can’t stand this stuff.” As I progressed, I started to recognize something. It’s more than the bodybuilding movement. It’s about the process. It’s about the experience. It’s about being uncomfortable and allowing myself for all the things that come up and embracing and keep on moving forward. That’s what I gathered so far about bodybuilding is it’s fucking cool.

The fact that I was always like, “Bodybuilder,” for many years is weak-minded on my end. I’m going to call myself out on that. Bodybuilding is spectacular and unique. All of these athletes that step on stage, I call them athletes because it takes a lot to get there, are talented; the posing, the eating, everything. I’ve never counted my macros. I’m a couple of weeks in. It’s unique. It’s different. The cool thing about it is I’m starting to learn about my body on a different level. For many years, I was bodyweight training. I was doing weight training. I was powerlifting. I was doing Olympic lifting. I was doing more explosive work, three to six repetitions. I never went to eight repetitions, only when I was doing As Many Reps As Possible, AMRAP, if you ever have seen it on a program before. It’s a whole different shift. Your mind works in different ways.

When you talk about bodybuilding, you’re focusing on a little bit more volume. Volume is always important, especially if you’re trying to build any size or anything like that. Power and explosiveness and speed and plow training, you don’t want too much volume there. I’ve been doing the bodybuilding movements and the workouts for about a couple of weeks. Those have been great. I started eating and counting my macros. I’ve never had pumps like this. Through this, I’ve also been taking creatine HCl. That’s something that I started to learn about. It’s only been researched for about a while, but I see insane results from that, on bodybuilding as well. I’m doing higher repetitions. I’m squeezing in certain positions. I’m going to the concentric and eccentric movements, sometimes slower and in time under tensions, more prevalent. The supplement is also aiding in my success as well because it’s all about ATP output. A lot of people hear about it. It’s all about energy.

It’s All About Energy

Let’s say you’re benching five sets of eight and you want to be able to get seven sets of eight. That’s a big jump. Creatine monohydrate or HCl will definitely assist you in that. It will aid you in being able to produce more, even though maybe your nutrition hasn’t changed too much or your sleep hasn’t changed too much. It does aid in many different ways, even mental clarity. There have been studies that have talked about that. Don’t quote me too much on what I’m saying because I’m not a doctor or anything like that. I always want to put that discretion out there because some people take what you say and they put it on the internet like, “Brendan’s a motherfucking dummy. What is this man doing? He’s a scammer.” I started taking that and it’s been working wonders. I’m going to be coming out with my own because I see powerful effects from it from my research. I’m like, “This is the new thing.” It’s even better because of the solubility comparison from monohydrate and how easily digestible it is, especially for me as well.

Allow yourself to be uncomfortable sometimes. Click To Tweet

These workouts have been intense. I’ve been working out with a few different people, Chase McNary, if you ever heard of him. He’s from the Bachelorette, and also random friends. I go to Team Elite Physique. My buddy Adam owns that. I also go to Armbrust with Dylan. I’m training with him sometimes. I train with many different people. I like to incorporate many different philosophies. This is what I’ll say about bodybuilding. It’s fucking cool. I don’t want to use the word bitching, but I’m going to have to use the word bitching. I see a lot of bitching. This is pre-experience for me, with going through a full cut. I see a lot of bitching when people are cutting. It’s not all people. It’s some people that are talking about it all the time on their social media. I’m big on discipline. I’m big on being impeccable with your word. Everything that you say is what you surround yourself with. It all comes back to you.

Representing The Discipline

If people want to find a lot of motivation and discipline as viewers, as consumers, then as influencers or people with influence, even bodybuilders. Even if you have 1,000 followers, we should represent that discipline. Is it tough? Absolutely. I will not disagree with that at all. It is tough. There’s a fine line between something being tough and blabbing about it or complaining about it. I respect many bodybuilders. Even the people that complain about it, I respect that. That’s the one thing that I’ve noticed that deterred me away from doing any type of bodybuilding, is like, “It’s such a struggle with the calories and stuff. I don’t want anything to do with that.” That’s me being real and fucking honest. It deterred me. That was one of the reasons why I never even engaged in doing a show. I never engaged in doing anything like that. Now I’m learning so much about the body in a different way from a nutritional standpoint because I have an exercise physiology degree. That’s my background. I understand biomechanics. I understand kinesiology. I understand movement and progression and overload and programming.

Experiencing It Firsthand

I haven’t tapped into the nutritional side of things. I understand, I’m gluten-free or I tend to be as much as possible. I don’t eat or drink any dairy. It doesn’t work right for me. I haven’t eaten red meat, excluding bison, but any cow or any pork for a few years. I take a lot of pride in what I’m consuming and from the micronutrient standpoint, but not so much how my body reacts from the caloric and more specifically macronutrient part of the nutritional consumption. That’s also something that I have respect for. These bodybuilders go through these grueling training sessions and go weeks on weeks. Many of them are on gear and they’re taking this or that. It’s hard, no matter what. I’m experiencing it firsthand.

CUE 11 | Bodybuilding
Bodybuilding: If people want to find a lot of motivation and discipline as viewers and consumers, then as influencers, we should represent that discipline.

 

Adam from Team Elite Physique put me through a chest and a back workout. It was freaking brutal. Even in the warm-up, I was dead. I was like, “What is this stuff?” He was like, “This is like when you’re in contest prep. You’re coming down to the wire. These are the workouts you’re going through.” I was like, “This is brutal.” At the same point, I’m someone that’s experimenting and going through the process to see how bodybuilding works for me and to see what it’s all about. That’s why I’m doing it. I like to learn as much as possible. I also see my exercise physiology side of things coming in and being like, “That’s a bro thing to do.” Although I voiced my opinion in the gym sometimes with the people that I’m training, I still engage in whatever they want to do because I want to learn about it. I want to see how my body reacts. Science is a tricky thing, especially research. Research is done on a selected group. That group is not you. That group is not me.

We can get a generalized idea or an accurate reading on things and how you’re at, but that’s not the same for everyone. Eighteen repetitions of four sets, it’s a shit ton of volume. On the one hand, it’s muscular endurance. At the same time, it’s like, “Is it possible to build size at that level?” I don’t know. I want to find out. It’s not even about focusing your training on that one rep range. It’s more so about bringing that variation of movements and always increasing and decreasing levels, which means it’s associated with hand placement. It’s going wider grip and closer grip. That affects everything. It’s all about your stabilization and how your muscles are working and in what capacity as well. That’s where volume comes into play, but also frequency. How many times a week are you training that? On your actual training protocol, how many movements are you doing per muscle group?

Metabolism

What I’ve learned through exercise physiology and also my experience with bodyweight training is you only need two to three exercises per body group. What I’m starting to experience is that when you’re going in to do chest and tri’s, you’re doing maybe more than three main movements for your chest. You’re doing four or five, maybe even six. It’s brutal. This is stuff that I’m gathering. It’s skewed because of my past, but it’s becoming more aligned and understanding of each of the guys and the girls around me that are bodybuilding. It’s a fucking interesting thing. Not everyone is going to blow up because you’re doing bodybuilding movements. It’s proper training. It’s proper nutrition, especially that nutrition aspect of it. I have a high metabolism. I can get shredded super quick. I’ve never counted my macros, but I’ve been shredded the majority of my life. I’m just being real. As I even get leaner and leaner, I understand it even more. I have a great metabolism. Metabolism plays a huge role in everyone’s body and how you’re training, what you’re consuming, what you’re doing throughout the day, and how many steps you are taking.

Be impeccable with your word. Everything that you say is what you surround yourself with, and it all comes back to you. Click To Tweet

Even now, I did 10,000 steps. I was walking. I used to watch people on Instagram. I was like, “Why are they talking about steps all the time?” I was confused. Now I understand that this all plays into your metabolism. It plays into your nutrition and your bodybuilding process. If you want a great aesthetic, if you want a great physique, a sculpted body, you’ve got to zone in on your macros. You’ve got to zone in on those calories. You don’t have to focus so much on your macros and calories. It’s not like super focused like, “I put this calorie,” but intuitively. This is where IIFYM comes from. This is something that I did not agree with for the longest time because of the majority of what IIFYM stood for people. They misinterpreted it. It’s about looking at food like, “Is this good for me? Is this a lot of food?” and getting a general idea of what the calories are.

For instance, I’m eating about 2,800 calories per day. I’m getting around 10,000 steps. My exercise, I have my calories from that. I need to eat. I want to eat. I get to eat, not need to, 2,800 calories. When I first started, I was like, “2,800 calories don’t seem like a lot of food. I was at 4,000 calories a day when I was younger.” I counted my calories in that regard. Now I recognize. When I took a big scoop of fucking cashews and I put them on my mouth and I ate them, I looked at MyFitnessPal and looked it up. I was like, “That was 643 calories for four ounces of cashews.” That’s mind-blowing to me. I ate some regular meat, some bison. I ate some lamb. I ate some other foods. The protein and calories were completely different. It was mind-blowing, looking at these differences. It’s like, “How am I only eating 450 calories when I’m eating rice, asparagus, a protein, and then I shift on over and I eat a handful of cashews?”

This is where my exercise physiology background and nutritional background comes into play. I have a minor in nutritional background. There are nine calories for every fat, four calories for every carb, and four calories for every protein. I started recognizing it. I was like, “Now this makes sense. That’s why four ounces of fatty food, introducing cashews or pecans.” Now I don’t put a bunch of freaking nuts in my mouth. At the same time, I’ve learned already in a day-and-a-half or two days. That’s the remarkable thing about it. What I’ve also learned about bodybuilding is it gets tough when you’ve got to figure out every single day, “What am I going to eat?” That comes down to discipline and planning. If you know how to plan correctly, everything will fall into play. It will all fall into play the way you want it. The game is yours at that point forward.

CUE 11 | Bodybuilding
Bodybuilding: Don’t starve yourself. Don’t hurt yourself doing stupid things that you know you shouldn’t be doing.

 

Sodium has a huge effect. I didn’t even realize it. It definitely has an effect on how full you look. I don’t know what the terms are in bodybuilding, but all that stuff, like how full or non-full you are. Even seasonings, even these zero calorie things. I don’t know if you knew this, but the food system, they allow nutritional facts to come out with a zero calorie on the label up to a certain amount of calorie range. Don’t quote me on this, but I know that it’s something like this. If something’s six calories or eight calories or whatever it is, they can put say, “It’s zero calories.” I don’t understand that. That’s what makes me fishy about the food industry. Back to bodybuilding, it all relates the training, the cardio and the food you’re putting in your body, your sleep. Your sleep is important. As you start leaning down, and I’m hoping to see here in the next few months because I’m going through a 90-day transformational period, it’s going to be tricky. It’s going to be unique. I’m always going to be shifting things around.

As I’ve learned from my friends, it comes. Once you want it to come, all the knowledge and everything and the discipline, it comes. The main thing here is not to destroy your metabolism. Don’t starve yourself. Don’t hurt yourself through doing stupid things that you know you shouldn’t be doing. That’s what I’m taking in through all the opinions of my friends. There are new studies out all the time about, “You should do an isolation movement before a compound movement,” which I learned for the longest time, compound movement before anything. When you’re doing a compound movement, you want to make sure your rest periods are a little bit higher depending on if you’re doing power explosiveness or anything like that. I also feel the stronger you get, the more muscle that is there that is able to fire and allow, if you have a lot of type two muscle fibers, to be more explosive in different movements. If you have more muscle, maybe you work on your hypertrophy and you work on your muscular endurance first, and then you shift into more explosive work and power training or whatever it may be the case for you and what results you’re looking for. There are many different variables. It’s fucking fascinating.

Bodybuilding Competitions

That’s my opinion on bodybuilding. Competitions, they’re cool. A lot of people do competitions for the wrong reasons. I might do a competition. I’m wondering if I should or not. I would love to see your review on iTunes about that or even in my DMs on Instagram or in my comment section. I feel like I could step on stage. Not only do I feel like I can compete at the natural level, but I believe that I can keep competing at the regular normal level where even other guys would take on stuff and I’m not. I’ve thought about taking stuff before in my past. It never registers for me. I think about it and I’m like, “I don’t want to do that. Fuck that. I never want to do that.” It’s my own reasoning behind it. I never want to put my body at risk in any way, shape or form. I understand that the test might be okay for you or this might be okay for you. It’s so-called from research and stuff, but in minimal amounts and this and that. I’m not a big believer in that. It’s as simple as that. I won’t move forward with that. That’s that. Maybe if I’m 50 years old and I’m bald and feeling old and shit, maybe I’ll freaking shoot some test up in my booty, but not now, not anytime soon either.

If you know how to plan correctly, everything will fall into play the way you want it and the game is yours at that point forward. Click To Tweet

That’s my full opinion on bodybuilding before my body weight to full bodybuilding transformation. Over the next couple of months, you’re going to see some wild things happening. My body has already transformed already for a couple of weeks. I’m excited for the next couple of weeks to see how much leaner I get. When you review the podcast on iTunes, this is big time. Stay tuned on YouTube. I have a good loyal following on YouTube as well. You could check that out to the check in with my bodybuilding journey as I transform. Subscribe if you haven’t already. We are not only on iTunes. We’re on Spotify. We’re on Google Play and many audio platforms. You do have the luxury to check that out. Every Tuesday, we release a podcast on YouTube which is fun, and you’re able to check that out. Thanks for reading another episode of the show. This is Quick Time Friday.

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Episode 09: I Was Bullied, So I Took Tallies (Painful)

Most of us have experienced bullying at one point in our lives. Some handled it casually while others carried over grudges and took tallies, and one of those is yours truly. Today, we dive into the issue of bullying and how taking tallies can cause self-harm and increase negativity. Discover how to unlock yourself from the chains of past pain. At the end of the day, these tallies can be the ones pulling you down and pulling you back from evolving.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts —

Listen to the podcast here:

I Was Bullied, So I Took Tallies (Painful)

The Truth Of High School & The World

I am excited. I’m going to be real. This is some juicy shit, things that I have never talked about before. I want to tap into these stories because I feel like not only can you get something from it, but you might even be able to tell someone else about it, get them through it and know that they’re not alone. I answer a question that was in the reviews on iTunes or I create a topic or a story that I want to tell you that you can gain something from it. Maybe it’s a strategy, a structure, maybe it’s motivation. Maybe it’s an inspiration. We dabble in it and get vulnerable. That’s what this show is all about is being unfiltered. We are on YouTube, the show is there. We also create an experience for you. For instance, a couple of people that are ready to go was Kevin Hines and you already heard that and saw that on YouTube. We helped out the homeless, got them to do pushups and gave them cards to go eat. We do some cool stuff. I played soccer with Brooklyn, she kicked my ass, definitely check that out. When you review the podcast on iTunes, in the description you’ll see a link. You get seven free gifts and all you have to do is input your email, put a review on there. If you don’t get an email back after you do the review, send us an email at Support@CreateUAgency.com and you’ll get all of your products.

Pulling On My Heartstrings

I want to talk about when I was bullied and I was taking tallies. This is something that’s close to my heart. Something that I went through for a long time, bullying. A lot of people, even my best friend, he was like, “You were bullied?” I was like, “You didn’t even know anything about that, did you?” He was like, “No. I thought you’re big enough and you didn’t have any problems.” Here’s the thing, bullying comes in many different ways, shapes and forms. For me, one of the ways that it hit on my heartstrings, it wasn’t from the regular community in my high school. It was nothing like that. It wasn’t the regular people walking in the halls. It was my peers. The people that were my teammates. The friends that I thought I had “really good friends.” It was those who were pulling on my heartstrings, calling me moon face, calling me a piece of shit, calling someone like that could never make it to D1 football. Hitting all my passions, my purpose in my life and making me feel like I was purposeless. I had nothing left. I had nothing in my life that was worth living for. It was tough.

Growing up in high school, I had a lot of acne and I have scarring. A lot of people are like, “Why don’t you get microdermabrasion? Why don’t you have this surgery? Why don’t you have that surgery?” I’ve had micro-needling before multiple times, like three or four, but for me it’s something that’s a part of me. It’s something close to my heart. Something that I worked through and I’m proud of. I am proud of my scarring. It was a hard time in my life. I started in high school at 119 pounds. I had acne all over my face. That’s where my story starts. When people in high school saw me in this way, I was always this athlete growing up and many individuals knew who I was, but I fell off. Soon enough, all of my friends were playing football, doing everything that they loved, and I was wrestling. I took on wrestling because I didn’t play football in my first year of high school. I only played in the last few years. That’s when I took off my life.

Living your best life is living a purposeful life. Click To Tweet

When I was wrestling, I can remember my coach. I’m not going to say his name even though I want to. My wrestling coach at the time, I remember walking up to him and being like, “I want to play high school football. I want to play varsity. I want to start varsity,” and he laughed at me. He looked at me and said, “Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll never make it there. You’re too skinny.” He started saying multiple things about me like it’s a waste of time, this and that. It fucking hurt me. Here I am, a young kid, I’m 119 pounds at this time, and I’m gaining a little bit of weight. I’m 125. One of my dreams is to play football. All this guy could do is talk down to me again and again. All of my other wrestling guys, some of them would support me, but I almost felt alone. I felt empty. I felt like there was nothing for me.

From this point forward, I fucking worked my ass off like no other’s business. When I talk about training, I trained harder than anyone. I say that loosely because obviously there are other people that say the same thing about themselves, but I trained like nobody could beat me, as nobody would outwork me. From there, I started taking in 6,000 calories every single day. Every morning I would take something called Russian Bear 5000. It was a shake that you could get 5,000 calories in. All you had to do was put the exact amount of scoops into a gallon of milk. Disgusting, I never did it that way. What I would do is I would fraction it out and take about 1,500 calories first thing in the morning and 1,500 calories at night. Before and after, I would have my breakfast and I’ll have my dinner.

Taking A Tally

Every time I took it, I almost threw up. Soon enough, I got a little bit used to it and I started gaining weight, 6,000 calories every single day. I was at 140 pounds. From that day when my coach told me that would never play anything, I’ll never amount to anything in playing football or anything like that, I took the next step. I took a tally and that’s what this is all about. I took tallies in my life all through high school and even through college. Tally here, tally there and at the beginning of college. It’s because people would say nasty shit to me. From there, so you can understand the story and where I want to go with this, I started playing football. I said, “Fuck that, I’m not going to wrestle. My coaches don’t even believe in me. Goodbye coach. I’m going to play football.” I looked at him, and I remember that same day and I was like, “Hands down. I will play varsity football whether you like it or not.” That’s what I said to him. He was laughing at me and all this stuff. I was like, “Just wait.”

CUE 9 | Bullying

 

From here, after those calories, I started gaining weight, I started playing football and all of a sudden, I was good. People were like, “This man’s fucking good,” but they would talk shit about me, even all of my teammates. Not all of them, but some of my teammates would be like, “You’re never going to play varsity. Are you starting?” I had my acne. I was a popular guy, but at the same time, I wasn’t. With that came a lot of different stuff then. It came so much different type of bullying that you could expect. My peers weren’t talking shit to me. They were like, “You’re a good football player. You have a lot of acne on your face, but whatever.” For me, I would walk down the halls, I would look right and left and I’d feel like everyone’s looking at me. When I started playing football, I started getting better. Junior year I was playing varsity. I was starting varsity football. I took over a guy’s position. I can remember being in the locker room and one of the linemen, I accidentally bumped in and he was like, “Watch out, acne face or moon face.” I was like, “Why would you say that?” He was like, “You’re ugly as hell. You’re not even that good at football. You’re never going to make it to Division I football.”

Out of nowhere, I was bumping into him. I was dumbfounded. I was distressed and all I would do is look them in their eyes and I’d be like, “I got you.” I would shake my head. I would stare at them in their eyes. It was interesting because I remember it to this day, they would be like, “You’re going to do nothing. You won’t do shit.” I remember my coach, I remember this. This is ridiculous. I would be sitting there and it was my last season of playing high school football. The end of my junior year, I’ll say, “I want to play Division I football and all this stuff. I believe I can. What division do you think I can go?” He was like, “Division III at most.” I was like, “What the fuck? Are you serious?” “I don’t think you can play Division I. Maybe Division II if possible, but definitely not Division I. I would bank on Division III.” I can remember the setting. I can remember the bleachers. I can remember the way he was looking at me.

I can remember the people around me. There were two more people around me. I can remember all of this stuff. I was sitting there. I looked at him in his eyes and shook my head. I was like, “I got you, coach.” That’s all I’d say. It was time and time again. I remember being in the middle of the hallway. It was where everybody hung out before they went into the class in high school. One of our star players comes up and I was talking to his girl. I was talking to Megan and she’s an amazing girl. I also think that our star is a great guy as well, but he said to me and I can remember this exactly. I mentioned a girl or something like that and he was like, “You’ll never have a girl like this. You’ll never have a girl. You’re all this shit.” All this nasty stuff about how I would never amount to anything being with an attractive girl, that I’m ugly as fuck, basically right to my face in front of these people. I was like, “All right.”

Being cold is an emotion. When you're cold, that means that you have shit that's blocking you off. Click To Tweet

From that day, I tally. I knew with all of these tallies, I’m going to get you in some way, shape or fashion. It wasn’t about like, “I’m going to hurt you. I’m going to hit you. I’m going to whatever.” It was always, “I’ll remember this and you will one day see me. I want you to see me as something that you disgraced at one point, that you talked shit about, and that you put down. Even now, it makes me anxious, a little bit angry. I can box, I can fight, I can do all this different stuff. I know wrestling. I know a little bit of jiu-jitsu. I’ve been bodyweight training for a while. I’ve been doing all this functional stuff. I am successful with this stuff. To me, now that I look back at it, all this pain, suffering, and people call me acne face, moon face and you’re fucking ugly as hell, you’re never going to have any girl, you’re never going to have this, it hurt me so much, but it made me who I am. That’s the beauty behind it. It has made me who I am times 1,000. Not only did it motivate me, but it also pushed me past a point that I could ever explain to anyone.

Hustling

I hustle. I work hard. If you saw me working, you’d be like, “Brendan, are you on cocaine? It does not make sense. Are you drinking caffeine all day?” I don’t drink caffeine. I don’t take anything. I take Creatine HCL. That’s the only thing. I started taking that. I haven’t done any of this extra stuff. It’s something that I take a lot of pride in, but it also hurt me in many ways. It hurt my relationships. It hurt my trust. It hurt looking at friends and calling true friends. It made me cold to the world. Someone would say something to me and it doesn’t register. I look at it and I’m like, “Whatever, I got you. Tally.” I’m used to it. I did some transformational work, I got through all that stuff. I started to see the other side of it and I was like, “It wasn’t me. It was them in all that bullying.” There was a lot of fucking bullying and people didn’t see it. No one saw it. I kept it quiet. Do you know where I showed it? On the field. All the pain and all the anger, I kept on hustling. I can remember time and time again, even me I would talk behind someone’s back a little bit about what they would say to me like, “This guy can’t fight.” It all came from an insecure place within myself. The reason why I’m successful is that I was insecure.

CUE 9 | BullyingThat’s the truth. I had a lot of hustle. I worked extremely hard and I’m strategic. I’m smart, I’m intelligent and I’ll give myself credit in that way. It’s important to acknowledge yourself. That’s very important. It’s because of my insecurities. If I was never that insecure, I don’t know if I would have ever worked that hard on a field. I’d have no clue because I played football. When I played collegiate football, I remember freshman year, guys would look at me sideways, but at the same time as they would look at me sideways, I earned respect. As I earned respect, unfortunately, I earned respect many times in the wrong ways. It was like I had to do something to prove myself when the actual purpose of life is doing what you enjoy so that you don’t have to prove anybody wrong or right.

You prove to yourself that you’re a good person and that you’re moving towards the vision that you’ve set for your life. These tallies represent more than, “I’m going to get revenge.” They represent to me the scars that I have on my body. I have scars on my face, I mean the scars internally, what I’ve “suffered.” That’s the choice that we make, suffering. When I look at it, it is something that has blossomed my life. It’s created something out of nothing because at that point when I was skinny, I had acne all over my face and I have scars. I even had a little bit of Tourette’s. It’s minor, sometimes you can’t even see them.

Breaking The Chains

I’m self-harming myself every single day when I’m thinking about all the negativity, the nastiness, the tallies and everything. These things have added up over years and years and they’ve held me back. Right when I let loose of that, all the chains, all of this shit that was fucking pulling me down and pulling me back, I evolved into something that I could never explain to anyone honestly. I’ve done things that I cannot explain to anyone. I’ve been able to move to Denver. I’ve been able to meet many people. I had courtside seats randomly from a good friend named Chase. Time and time again, things are happening in my life, it’s because I’m living my best life and my best life is living a purposeful life. It’s something from gratitude. It’s something from being blessed. It’s something from giving, supporting others and asking for support. I’m finally encompassing myself. I’ve created myself. In this, you get to create yourself as well because when you are creating you, everyone else sees that, they blossom as well and they feel it. They can see the energy. My businesses are killing it.

I have businesses all over. I have friends all over, close friends as a matter of fact, close than I ever have. All of my closest friends, I feel as though I’ve gotten even closer with because I’ve been able to express certain things with them. Even my close friend, Chris, he came to California and noticed something a little bit different about me. We started getting vulnerable and for the first time ever, and I’m thankful for this, he cried in front of me. He was able to say that he loved me and I said, “I love you.” It was such a beautiful moment, allowing that to be welcomed in. For the longest time, I wouldn’t be able to welcome anything in because so much negativity blocked my pores, when I was trying to sweat all the negativity out, I couldn’t. It was all pain-filled. From there, once I released, everything has stopped and taking tallies. I looked at tallies as not motivation but an opportunity for me to be vulnerable and explain to the other person how I felt.

When we let go of all the tallies, all the resentment, and all the judgment, we find success in places that we've never even thought before. Click To Tweet

Evolving

That’s when everything evolved. Here’s a strategy you can do. If someone’s talking shit to you, all you can say is, “Why are you doing that? Why are you saying that about me?” If they say, “You’re a pussy,” and be like, “Why do you think I’m a pussy?” “It’s because you won’t hit me.” You say, “Why is it defined off of me hitting you? Is it a better man, being a stronger man or a woman if I don’t hit you?” Do you know how much different that conversation will change? You say, “I understand you’re pissed at me for whatever reason. What’s going on in your life? If you want to beat my ass, go ahead and do it now, see what fulfillment comes from that because it’s not going to be fulfilling. Whatever you’re going through, do you want to be friends? I think you’re a good person. I like you, aside from all this extra shit that you’re saying, you’re cursing at me. You’re saying you want to fight me. I see you as being better than that. I see you as being successful.” Half the time they’re going to freak out and like, “What the fuck are you saying?” All this stuff.

That’s the beauty in that. You get to shift that. You keep on shifting and enrolling them into the way your mind thinks and that’s when you’re winning. Not only did you create you, but you created them as well in the process. It went from hating you, talking all this shit about you and bullying you to contemplating where all this pain stuff comes from. You can even throw my name in. Be like, “My man Brendan Meyers, he’s super famous and whatever.” You don’t have to call me famous. You can say, “This guy, Brendan Meyers, I’ve been following for a long time. He talks about this stuff all the time and he was bullied and stuff. Now he’s successful. He’s doing incredible things and he’s transforming lives left and right. It’s because he chose to. I believe you can too.” If you take those approaches, all the tallies fall off your back. They do honestly.

Another way to go about this stuff is if you do have past pain, embrace it. The way you embrace it is you confront it and you talk to that person. If it was that football player in the locker room that was talking shit to me that one day, called me crater face, ugliest fuck and all this different stuff, I could contact him if it still bothered me as much as it did and it was holding me back. I can be like, “I wanted to get vulnerable with you and explain how I feel, and this is it.” When you unload and you explain it, even in the setting right there and be vulnerable, like, “I get bullied all the time. Why are you doing this to me? It’s making me depressed. It’s making me have a lot of anxiety, even makes me suicidal sometimes.” That’s when you can evolve yourself in another person. It’s the vulnerability of the communication in that. That’s the gist of what I went through. It was aggressive. I was bullied so I took tallies. There are many tallies. If you knew how many tallies I’ve taken in my life and I still shift away from that. It’s not it goes away. It’s ingrained in me. I’m working at creating new habits and being disciplined in ways to shift away from taking tallies and be like, “I fucking got you. I heard what you said.”

CUE 9 | Bullying

 

It’s surprising because for me, I remember all of this stuff. There has to be a setting that’s similar to it and it ignites it. I can feel it. It’s almost like PTSD. It’s like a stress disorder in a way. At the same time, it’s things that remind me of who I was and allows me to get through it. There’s some stuff to juggle in your mind and see if you’re taking tallies in your life, see who is in front of you and you’re like, “I got you asshole. Are you dishing it back? Is that your form of tally? Are you self-harming yourself?” That’s a form of the tally. A lot of the times we want this attention when attention does nothing for us. It creates more stress, more anxiety and more possibilities of depression. It creates not much mental awareness, actually a lack thereof mental awareness. Mental awareness is all about knowing yourself and understanding how you’re reacting everything. If we’re reacting in a negative way and that’s our form of tallying, what are we doing? What are we serving? We’re not serving our vision, we’re not serving what we’re creating. What if you took a step back? What if you stopped taking tallies of people on Instagram that don’t even know who you are?

We do that sometimes, as well. A long time ago, I would scroll on Instagram and I would see someone successful. I’d be like, “I got you. I’m going to be better than you.” I will be vulnerable and say it for many years that I was on social media, it was ego-driven. It was very, “I need to be the best. I want to be the first. I want people to know who I am. I want this. I want that.” That was a bullshit mentality that led me somewhere, but it led me to a corner and karma caught up to me. Karma isn’t always like, “If you hurt somebody, you’re going to get hurt.” It’s not like that. I would never do anything to harm anyone’s business or harm a person. I could never do that. It was karma because of self-harm, things that I was doing. All this negative self-talk and not being impeccable with my word. Things like that where karma came around them and took me from my feet. It’s like football. It’s like smear the queer. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that.

Shifting

What you can take from this is shift. The shift from all the nasty shit. All the tallies, all that, it doesn’t serve you. Being cold is an emotion. Being cold, not feeling is an emotion. It’s related to emotion. When you’re cold, that means that you have shit that’s blocking you off. You’re holding back, you can’t see it. When you start tapping a little bit more into your vulnerability, being raw with people, explaining yourself fully, communicating, talking and allowing things to come in, not being sacrificial but surrendering things, you’ll see all those layers will come off. You’ll notice a little bit more about yourself and where that being cold comes from. It might come from your dad, brother, sister and your mom. It could be from an experience that was traumatic to you. It could be a car accident, could be a death in your family, it could be whatever it is, a workout where a bar fell on you. All these things can contribute. They do contribute.

When you were born, you were a joyful kid, when you cried to try and express yourself because we couldn’t express ourselves, and that was it. What’s the difference between now and then is all the extra bullshit that is added up. All those tallies, all the resentment, all judgment. We peel back, we let go of all of it and then we find success in places that we’ve never even thought before. If you edit on Final Cut Pro, why not try and edit on Adobe Premiere, Sony Vegas or iMovie? If you have a Sony A7R3 camera, why can’t you use a Canon? Is it because you don’t want to? That doesn’t make any sense. Don’t you want to learn again? Look at it from a different perspective. You’re learning something new and that can relate to our lives. It’s like two cameras. It’s like hanging out with two different types of people. Be open to learning new things, removing those tallies even talking to the people that once said shit to you, be open about it and be vulnerable.

That’s it. That’s all you’ve got to do is be vulnerable, communicate and surrender, support people and ask for support. That’s what life is all about. If you want to find happiness, you’ll definitely find it here at the show. You’ve got to be willing to go there. You’ve got to go the extra yard. You can’t see anything unless you keep moving forward. It’s the truth. If you’re in a tunnel, it’s dark and you see a little glimpse of light, you’ll never know what that light is until you take those baby steps. Time and time again, it’s discipline. It’s a habit. Fill it up, fill that cup up and move forward. Hydrate yourself, hydrate your mind, hydrate your body and hydrate your heart.

We’re dehydrated nowadays. It’s all this shit that’s holding us back. Hopefully, you enjoyed this. I love tapping into the stories, tapping into some strategies, some structures, techniques that you can take into your own life. If you’re struggling, try to meditate, try to read a book, try and DJ, and try to listen to music. Go get a workout in, do something, eat something healthy. Maybe make a dessert, cook something. Be with a friend, talk, and do something. There’s always something. Mental awareness is everything, remember that. Thank you so much.

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