Episode 71: Get Your Power Back!

 

In another QuickTime Friday, Brendan Meyers talks about how you can get your power back by learning how to not give it away. When you feel like your power is fading or you are giving away too much of it, you can simply take a break and re-evaluate yourself. Brendan offers some advice on regaining your energy. He also stresses the importance of understanding where your energy is being provided, realizing that you can’t save everybody and fix everyone’s problem.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts

Listen to the podcast here:

Get Your Power Back!

This is a Quicktime Friday. If you’re new here, just so you know, we get unfiltered. I don’t hold back. I’m honest. I’m brutal if I have to be brutal. I’m also extremely vulnerable about myself and authentic. Buckle up because I’m telling you, it’s going to be a little bumpy and more so for me because it brings up a lot of stuff in my life. What’s an episode without relating to you? It’s not. For me, I feel that a lot of shows are holding back from telling everyone exactly how they feel. I want you to know that it’s okay to share exactly how you feel. If someone makes you feel that it’s not, then they’re not the right person to be in your life.

Quicktime Fridays are very short. It’s maybe a 5, 10, 15, 20-minute where we dive in. It could be a question, it could be a quick topic or something that was brought up to me in a review. By the way, if you’ve reviewed the show on iTunes and link it to description, then you get seven free gifts, so go ahead and do that. I don’t know what day it is for you and I don’t know who you’re sitting next to. You’re with your buds, you’re on the subway or chilling in your room or cooking some dinner. I hope you’re having a fantastic day and you have a fantastic day tomorrow because what we’re going to be talking about is not giving your power away. I say I hope you have a great day and you had one now and tomorrow and everything because once you learn how to not give your power away, then you have a lot more positive energy and that’s what I want to discuss.

For the majority of my life, I gave my power away. I thought of myself as, “I need to do this so that people can see me, so that people can hear me, so that I feel important,” and the whole shebang. That was me, my entire life. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago where I said, “I need to stop doing this.” Suddenly, I was like, “I am done doing this.” I was sitting here reminiscing on my entire life. The things that I’ve been through, the tragedies, the good, the bad, all of it and I thought, “The majority of the bad in my life has come from me giving my power away, giving all this energy into people that weren’t returning it to me.”

I almost feel like the earth, this world is like an energy field. Each connection, each relationship, everyone that is around us is energy being exchanged. Just imagine, if you are a battery that’s giving yourself to assist them again and again, what happens? Soon enough the battery dies. When you literally look at your own life, look at it from the perspective as you’re the battery. You’re not a rechargeable battery yet, are you? You could be. You could not be giving your power away all the time and it’s a rechargeable thing but you don’t even want to be rechargeable. You don’t want to be a battery in this world. The reason being is because soon enough, you die and yes, we die.

Once you learn how to not give your power away then you have a lot more positive energy. Click To Tweet

I’m talking about metaphorically like you die as in your energy, you’re exhausted, you get stressed, you get depressed or whatever. It all adds up. It accumulates. It’s like if we’re holding a grudge on somebody, that right there is giving your power away. After a long time, you crash, you burn and it’s brutal. I want to challenge you with something. The next time you feel like you’re giving your power away and sometimes it’s hard to see, I want you to take a step back, evaluate it, write it down and then come back to it in about an hour. Let’s make it a little bit simpler for you. When you feel like you’re giving your power away, I want you to think about it. Give yourself five minutes or a couple of seconds or twenty seconds to re-evaluate if that’s what you’re doing and then call yourself out on it.

You can be in a conversation and say, “I need to go to the restroom quick,” whatever it is and look at yourself in the mirror and decide. I want to give you this analogy and there are so many times where we have this house. Let’s say our lives are one big house. We are the house and you have a front door, you have a couple of windows, you have a garage. Someone comes to knock on the door. It’s a significant other. It could be someone toxic. It could be someone that’s trying to take money from you. Think of anybody negative in your life. They come up to your door, they knock three times. You go to your little peephole, you see that person and you have a choice at that moment.

You can either open the door, invite them in. You can either open the door, just a crack to say, “Is there anything that you’d like? What are you doing? Who are you?” You could also at that time, open up your windows, open up your garage, open up the door and say, “Welcome in.” I want you to look at your life as just that with power and energy. The second you open up your door and allow someone in, you are in control of that. When that person enters your house, you’re giving energy to that person and a lot of your power away to that person. You’re allowing that power to be taken by the other person. You’re allowing it to be controlled.

When you think of this and someone comes into your house, who is to blame? Who is to blame that you opened up the windows, opened up the garage, opened up the back door, opened up the basement, opened up all the rooms and let somebody into your life? You did that. When we looked through that peephole in our lives, we have to take a step back and say, “One moment, please,” to see if this person, if this relationship, if this business is worth giving our energy to. If we don’t get an exchange, by the way, the exchange which is a relationship with anything, is the most powerful thing in the world. That gives you more power than you could ever imagine. When you give that energy and there’s no exchange, that’s when you lose your power so stop, whether it’s a significant other, it could be your business, it could be someone that’s in your family, it could be a job or whatever it is.

CUE 71 | Getting Your Power Back
Getting Your Power Back: When you feel like you’re giving your power away, give yourself time to re-evaluate your actions and call yourself out on it.

 

Sometimes, it’s hard because everything is so clouded and all this stuff but think about it. Is it worth giving your power away? I don’t think so. Now, I’m in a position to give you an example. I’m in a position because I gave my power away. I gave so much energy and didn’t get the energy back. I’m in a specific situation right now. I’ve had to go to drastic measures to level up my life. Yes, I’ve learned and it’s been an incredible experience. Do you think I want to go to drastic measures to be able to heal from something? Absolutely not. Whether that is the situation that I had in a different state with someone and it almost turned into a big physical fight or a relationship that I was discovering that affected me. Whatever it is, we have to take a stand for ourselves earlier on so that these things don’t add up, pile up and then crumble around us.

You’ve got to remember that crumbling needs to be cleaned up. That’s where we go to drastic measures because we have to do the clean-up. We’ve got to clean up from all of this bullshit that’s been happening because we gave our energy to the wrong source and that caused a loss in our power. Stop giving your power up. Live a life of freedom. Live a life that you know is filled with joy and love. I’ll give you a couple of examples of how you can do that. One, surround yourself with people of your same energy and even higher energy than you. It doesn’t matter what they look like. It doesn’t matter what their job is. It could be people that are working at a grocery store, it could be someone that’s working at Chipotle or someone at Barnes & Noble or a CEO of a business. It does not matter but surround yourself by people with the same energy.

Number two, and I read this about Sean Stephenson. If you don’t know who he is, look him up on YouTube, on social media or whatever. He just passed away. God bless him and his family but this man was a powerhouse. He said something that was very interesting. One of my mentors told me about it. He said, “There are certain things that we do when our life is going well. There are certain things that are always happening when our life is going bad.” Sean Stephenson said, “Write down a list of fourteen things that when your life is going good, this is what you’re consistently doing.” It’s consistency. It’s discipline.

For me, some of them were getting eight hours of sleep. I’m drinking a gallon of water a day. I’m doing cardio four times a week. I’m playing a little bit of music. I’m dancing one time per week and I am counting my macros. These are the things that when I’m doing them, my life is good. Everything else outside of it is things that are adding in or trying to subtract from that overall energy, that overall power that we’re giving to ourselves every single week, every single day because of those things that we do that we love. That brings us that enjoyment and that good times in our lives. When we do follow the same thing over and over again, we know it’s given us good, now we get to choose and we see very clearly what is working and what isn’t working.

The exchange, which is a relationship with anything, is the most powerful thing in the world. Click To Tweet

When this shit isn’t working and there keeps on being this consistent bullshit, this relationship, this person came into your life and is not giving you what you deserve and you feel like your happiness is dropping a little bit. You’re feeling a little bit more overwhelmed or more anxiety or you see the depression coming on or whatever. Maybe you changed certain things, then that’s on your bad list and you don’t want to keep it in your life. Because you have this good list, you can literally shift it away and you’re back to the good. Start looking at your life from that perspective. One, surround yourself with the right people and two, make a list for yourself that represents all the good in your life. The things that you’re following and watch how things start to shift.

I’m starting now with about nine things that I want to follow. I’m going to make sure that I do them because I know that’s what brings me happiness and that’s what I do when I’m living my best life, when I’m feeling good, when I’m in bliss. Stop giving your fucking power away. The only way you can finally stop doing that is by recognizing the good and bad and understanding where your energy is being provided. You can’t save everybody. You can’t fix everyone. You can’t be your best around every single person in this world. You can’t. Take a step back, bird’s eye view. Now is your day. It starts now. Get your power back. I believe in you. Thanks for tuning in for another episode. Until next time. Peace.

Important Links:

Episode 70: Getting Past Traumas With Madison Rice

 

Dealing with trauma is a touchy subject because many people don’t quite understand the severity of its effects on them on their own. But dealing with trauma is a part of growing, and you must not let it be a hindrance to moving forward with your life. Brendan Myers sits down with Madison Rice, a Denver-based personal trainer who specializes in Crossfit and Olympic Lifting. Together, they delve into the subject of trauma, and illustrate a small part of a process that has one confront their trauma. Perhaps there’s something in your past that’s holding you back from performing at your absolute best? If so, let Brendan and Madison show you a way towards facing your trauma, and learning to let it work for you.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts

Listen to the podcast here:

Getting Past Traumas With Madison Rice

True Healing

I’m excited to have a good friend here. If this is your first time reading, you’re up for a ride. I like to come on here and have a podcast every Tuesday with a guest. Then every single Friday, we have QuickTime Fridays, which are quick. They’re unfiltered. I’d like to get into a discussion and talk about different topics and have fun with the podcast and let it flow wherever it flows. I’ve heard some incredible reviews. I’ve seen and read incredible reviews of the podcast and I thank you so much for it. If you ever want to pick up seven free gifts from CreateU to you, give us a review and enter your email. We’ll send you seven free gifts for writing a review on iTunes only. Another thing is CreateU Nutrition. CreateU is not only about the podcast, it’s also not only about supplements, but it’s also about igniting your breakthrough and bringing your vision to life. That is the tagline. CreateU Nutrition is one of the ways that we give back. We have innovative products at an incredible price. We’re affordable. We try and stay as natural as possible. You can check out all of our products at CreateUNutrition.com whenever you’d like.

We have my friend, Madison Rice. @Ricebowll, noodle bowl, I love the Instagram name. I’m excited to have her here because she and I have been able to connect over here in Denver, Colorado. Maybe you don’t know, I moved from LA to Denver pretty much out of the blue. I was in town and I was like, “I’m going to make the move. Fuck it.” I came here and one of the first people that I was told to meet or say hello to because of my good and close team member, Sahara, is Ricebowll. Ever since I’ve been like “Noodle bowl, Ricebowll,” because she’s such an interesting person. I am here to discover more about her as much as you guys are. To get in the mind and see how we can not only ignite her breakthrough but ignite the breakthrough of yourself and the vision of yourself. Madison, that was a big intro. How do you feel about that? 

I’m impressed with how well you can talk. You don’t stop.

You told me to record a podcast called the Go Go Go Mindset. If you did not read that, go ahead and jump over there. It’s on the QuickTime Friday. Let me ask you to start, why did you want me to talk about the Go Go Go Mindset? What intrigued you about that?

Because I don’t have it and it’s inspiring.

When you say you don’t have it, where does that come from? Why do you feel like you don’t have this Go, Go, Go mindset?

I get discouraged easily with failure and I don’t take that as a learning lesson too well. I let it beat me down a little bit. Whereas you, on the other hand, you use that to put a fire under your ass.

Where does that come from? Where do you feel like that? We’re jumping deep into it. Where does that like, “I don’t want to light a fire on my ass. I want to take the victim’s root?” That’s what it is. It’s like, “This sucks. I don’t know what to do. This is uncomfortable. I’m confused. I don’t even know where to pursue.” Where does that come from? Where have you confronted that in your life? Maybe it started when you were a kid, when you were working, maybe in a relationship. Where do you feel like that started?

I haven’t had a lot of support growing ups and I have fallen on my ass a lot and haven’t gotten much help getting up. Maybe I thought taking the victim route would have people help me more, have people feel bad for me. That’s pretty much all I can think of, not having a solid support system growing up.

Let me ask you something. We’re going to get into a little bit more about you, in general, and why you are who you are. This pretty much is part of it. Growing up, what if you did have all that support? How do you feel like it could have changed you?

I feel like with more support and love, especially in the household, I would have been more inspired to do better or be more. Not having that, I wasn’t inspired and I didn’t care about myself or my success too much. That carried into a relationship I got into and friendships, people not caring about me and leaving me behind. I haven’t been inspired to do a lot because I didn’t have anyone to share victories with or have anyone care.

What if everything that you’re saying is all perspective? Whatever you talk about yourself is pretty much your reality. If you wanted to be heard or be seen for doing this or that or whatever, you would be seen or heard doing that. You playing a victim or you fall on your ass and maybe crying instead of anybody helping you up or any of those things. What if people did see you when that happened, which they probably did? That was your motivation. It was like, “I’m going to do this so that people do see me or hear me a little bit more.” It was in a negative connotation for yourself and it was in a negative way. Every perspective that we create is just that, what we’ve created. I could, on the other hand, win a bunch of trophies and break my leg and then win another trophy for me. Do you know what people are going to do? See me. They’re going to hear me.

On the other hand, you might break your leg and then never compete again. You can talk about how shitty it was or whatever it is. You know what people are still going to do? See you and hear from you. They’re going to see or hear you in a different light. Let’s go back to who you are before we jump in super deep. There’s much here and you’re a beautiful person. I could see it. I know it. I can see how much you’re capable of and how much you are doing even now that you don’t even realize you’re doing. We’ll jump into it. What makes you, you? First of all, what are some of your hobbies? What are some things that you love to do?

I’m big into Olympic lifting. I come from a bodybuilding background but slowly transitioned into Olympic lifting. When I’m not in the gym, I like going to coffee shops. I’m big on the coffee shop culture. I go there to read and write. I also have a bad addiction to video games.

Do you feel like it’s a bad addiction, though? 

Not really.

Why did you say bad addiction?

I probably spend a little too much time playing video games rather than being a productive person.

Do you feel like playing video games is not productive? 

Building my business doesn’t have anything to do with playing video games.

What if you looked at the video games that you play as something that is beneficial to your life, that brings you a stress release that brings you something that you do enjoy, that you are passionate about? Maybe it’s playing Call of Duty. It could be World of Warcraft for one person or it could be a shooter game, whatever it is. What if you looked at it from that perspective like it wasn’t a bad thing and that it was positive to your day? 

There’s that mindset thing again.

You have that mindset. You don’t see it. You don’t see that your video games are a plus. You go into a coffee shop and being interested in the coffee, all of that stuff is a plus. You don’t realize that powerlifting or Olympic lifting is a plus into your life. Do you know people can’t find any interest in pretty much anything?

Yeah, that’s true.

Pat yourself on the back because you’ve already made leaps and bounds. Tell us more about who you are? Who is Madison Rice? 

Do you want to hear my life story?

You don’t have to tell us your life story, but who are you?

Still trying to figure that out, Brendan.

You already have it in you and you figured out a way more than you could ever imagine. Let me give you an example. Where do you come from? 

Reading, Pennsylvania.

What does that place mean to you?

Smells like mushrooms, but my family’s there and that’s what’s most important.

Why is the family most important to you? 

Because my dad and my brothers have always been there for me.

They’ve always been there for you, right? 

Yes.

When you fell on your ass and you were crying, who helped you up?

No one. They weren’t around at that.

How does that make you feel? 

I was living in Iowa at that time and they were in Pennsylvania, it was hard for them to stop some abuse that was going on at that point.

We don’t have to jump into that, but I want you to look at all these perspectives. You have people that love you and they do support you. Even when you were falling on the ground and whatever the case may be, did you know that they subconsciously or even consciously, it maybe not even knowing that you were going through specific things, they were there for you, were they still supporting you?

Yeah. I wasn’t vocal with them about what was going on fully.

This is where we’re getting into the real good shit. Are you vocal with everybody? 

No.

When you’re on social media because you have a social media following. She has social media and she’s badass. She is a great Olympic lifter. She is extremely knowledgeable and she’s funny. She’s quirky. She loves headbanging. She’s awesome and amazing. When you talk about video games, when you talk about all this stuff and you don’t talk or open up too much, your social media, what is it that holds you back? What holds you back from picking up your phone, looking at your Instagram story and speaking? I’ll tell you this much. A lot of people that are reading have the same problem. Not only with Instagram stories, but with connection with this person. Maybe your boyfriend, your best friend, your mom, your dad, your cousin, your coworker, whoever it is, they have trouble speaking up. What is it that holds you back?

We talked about this. I feel like people don’t care what I have to say. I have a good social media following, but nothing compared to yours, for example. I feel like I’m irrelevant.

Let me give you a different perspective. You think that it’s nothing compared to mine, but let me tell you something. One person is not more important than another person whether you have 25,000, 340,000, 1 million, 5 million or 10 million, nobody’s social media following. Is any more important or greater than others. Each person holds the lives of a million people. You ever thought about that? 

I guess not.

When you look into someone’s eyes, what do you see? 

A soul.

CUE 70 | Dealing With Trauma

What does that soul mean to you? 

That’s everything. That’s who you are.

What if that soul impacts a million people in their lifetime? You ever thought about it like that? 

You did a good job.

No, you impact a million people throughout your lifetime. Think about this. You walk into the grocery store, you open up the door, you impacted one person’s life. They feel appreciation for you opening up that door. That person maybe ignites something for them. Maybe they opened up another door for someone else, then another person. Soon enough, all these people are learning because of you. You’ve thought about that?

No.

When you’re talking to your Instagram story, when you’re talking to someone, you’re opening up to someone, when you’re speaking to that person, do your story, you’re impacting millions of lives and you don’t even know it. You don’t even see it. What holds you back mostly from speaking up?

I’m a pretty shy person. It’s hard to speak up sometimes. I wasn’t heard growing up. Some of the most important people in my life didn’t care what I had to say, care about my feelings. That’s carried with me throughout my life. Me speaking up is never a thing.

Has there ever been a time where you felt comfortable speaking up?

Yes.

When?

I don’t know.

Was there a time that you can pinpoint that you’re like, “People heard me, I’m saying this?” How about an Instagram post? You ever wrote an Instagram post that was deep or about something and people were like, “I appreciate you writing that or I love that Instagram story?” Anything?

When I talk about my eating disorder, I get positive feedback with that.

Why?

I’m being vulnerable and honest about what I went through. A lot of people can relate to that.

Did you know that every person can relate to every person in this world in some way, shape or form? That’s because we all have brains. We all have eyes. Some of us can’t see, but we still have those eyes, legs, arms. We walk. Everybody walks, the majority of people. We all have sadness. We all have happiness. Have you ever been sad before? 

Absolutely.

I’ve been sad many times in my life. We can relate. What if I talk about the things that I’m going through consistently? What if I talk about my wins? What if I talk about the negative shit that pushed me down but I pushed through to my social media to people around me? What do you think happens? 

People message you and thank you.

More importantly, they relate to you. All talking is a way to relate to someone. It’s a form of communication. Do you know what we are as human beings? We are communicators. That’s who we’re supposed to be. When you’re not communicating or you’re not opening up or you’re not saying something, what are you doing? You’re discounting yourself. You’re not being who you’re supposed to be. How do you feel like you can start? This is going to translate into your business. Every area of your life, the second you start to say, “I don’t care if people hear me or not. I’m still going to say.” What’s the first step that you can do? 

Just do it. Stop making excuses for myself.

What does doing it mean to you?

Going on my story and talking. Every day, I record something, I’m like, “I’m going to do it.” I’m going to go on, I’m going to talk about my day, talk about something that upset me or something that made me happy. A win or a lose anything, anything. I’ll record something and then I’ll delete it. I’m like, “Why would people ever want to hear this?” I have to stop caring.

What are you afraid of more than anything? It’s not about people not hearing you. What are you afraid of? 

It's so easy to get discouraged by failure that you end up not taking it as a learning lesson. Click To Tweet

Judgment.

What type of judgment?

Negative opinions of me. I feel irrelevant. People would be like, “Why is she talking like her following is relevant, like she’s relevant?”

Where does that irrelevancy come from?

I don’t know. I’ll talk about that in therapy next week.

At least you go to therapy. I feel like everybody should go to therapy. It’s not bullshitting yourself. We all have shit that we’re going through and it’s a beautiful thing. Where does your feeling irrelevant come from? Think about it. Where have you felt irrelevant in your life when you were growing up?

My relationship with my mother.

What does that relationship mean to you? 

Nothing anymore.

Anymore?

I care about her.

Do you love her? 

Yeah.

You do. She’s the mother that you came out of her. There’s a whole different connection though. You ever been in love before? 

Yes.

Did that relationship end? 

Yes.

Do you still have a love for that person? 

Yeah.

Will it ever leave? No. Because you’re not in love with that person, but you have a love for them. It’s because of the connection. Once this connection is established, it’s always being there. If something was built and then the entire city around it transforms and becomes this beautiful crazy city in it, that becomes this small little building and the entire city, is the small little building still there?

Yes.

What does this relationship with your mother mean to you? In a perfect world, what would you want it to be?

Us even having a relationship in general.

In a perfect world, what would you want your relationship with your mother to be?

I would want to be close to her and be able to share life experiences with her.

CUE 70 | Dealing With TraumaTo cry with her and tell her about boys, say this or that, right?

Yeah.

Do you feel like if you did establish that relationship that you would be way more confident in other areas and feel heard from other people and feel like you could express yourself to other a little bit more? Do you feel like that was there and that was present in your life?

Yeah, I feel like I’d probably be a little better off right now if I had that relationship.

Do you believe that you can ever have that relationship with her?

No.

I don’t even want to go into the specifics, but why not? Why don’t you believe? You can say because of past experiences, you could say whatever.

Because of all the stuff that she’s put me through in my life, I will never be able to forgive her for.

There was a court case that happened. It was nationally televised. This guy shot a mother. There were two kids. There was a sixteen-year -old. 

Didn’t she lock him?

I’m not sure exactly which case it was, but it’s more principle. She said to the kid that was on the stand and she was crying and was like, “I forgive you because I know that you made the biggest mistake of your entire life.” When the kid walked up the stand, she hugged him. Why do you believe she was able to forgive him?

Forgiving would probably help her grow and heal

You said to me you’ll never be able to forgive your mom. Why?

It’s hard to. I haven’t reached that point in my life yet where I’m ready to forgive her.

When will you ever be ready? Your stories, when will you ever be ready to post a story? When will you ever be able to get married? When will you ever be ready to start this diet? When will you ever be ready to start your personal training? When will you ever be ready to move here, move there, take on this opportunity to eat this, to not do that, to say yes, to say no? When are you ever ready?

You’re never ready. You have to do it.

Why are you never ready? Life isn’t some beautiful like, “By the way, in five minutes this person’s going to call you and when they call you, this is how it’s going to happen.” No, you can’t prepare for shit. You could say a million things, go into your ex-boyfriend’s in a room or go to a coffee shop with an ex-boyfriend and you’re like, “I’m going to say this.” You walk in and you’re like, “What was I going to say? He looked at me.” You can’t prepare for anything. How do you believe that you are going to be a great personal trainer? How do you believe that you’re going to be successful, that you’re going to start talking to people, that you’re going to open up if you will never forgive your mother? That is the closest thing to you. It’s mind-blowing. The fact is, I never grew in my life up until I forgave people.

When I forgave people, it wasn’t about forgiving them. It was about taking ownership of me and the things that I can control. I said, “I forgive you for whatever you did, but I don’t see you as this person. I see you as an incredible light. I see you as a visionary. I see you as something beautiful. I know you went through shit, but I know that you’re a better person. I don’t see you ass a piece of shit. I don’t see you like this and this. This is how I felt. Now, this is how I feel about you and that’s how I want to feel about you and will feel about you for the rest of my life.” 

Someone stole $4,000 from me. I still didn’t pursue the cops. I didn’t do anything. The same kid that steals $4,000 from me, I’ve helped out, took from the streets to give them a videography position in my home. He lived with me for a little bit. He lived out of his car. I help this kid so much, but still stole from me. I can either be like, “Fuck this guy. I’m going to get his ass.” I have the capabilities to do that. Instead of doing that, I forgave him and I said, “Bro, I know you’re going through way more shit than I could ever imagine.” Your mom, do you know what she went through when she grew up? 

A little bit.

Imagine if you were in her shoes when she was growing up. What if she is the way she is because of all the scenarios that she never fixed? What if you keep on growing up, you get older and older and you don’t adjust all this stuff that’s going on? You have kids, your kids have kids and now you’re a grandmother. How do you think you’re going to be showing up for them? If you never forgive your mom, what if you say something to your kid and she never forgives you? How would you feel? 

A little shitty. I have been making strides in that healing process. I would’ve never even concluded that my mom is a person and she had her shit going on. She was hurting and she was going through a lot. A few months ago, I didn’t have that mindset. Whereas now, I realize she probably had a lot going on and that’s why she didn’t show up for me. That’s why she didn’t love me. That’s why she didn’t care about me. I can realize that and I’ve been thinking about reaching out to her, and saying like, “I forgive you, but this is what our relationship is. It’s not going to be anything more than this, but I forgive you.”

Why?

She’s a toxic person and she will never realize what she did to me and what she did to my brothers.

Why will she never realize?

Especially online, people appreciate what you have to say when you're vulnerable and honest about your experiences. Click To Tweet

She needs help and she’s not getting that help. She will never confess that she fucked up bad.

Do you believe that you can transform? 

Yes.

Do you believe that if someone sleeping in their car that they can make it to the NBA one day? 

Yes.

Do you believe that if someone goes to jail for 10, 15, 20 years for whatever it is, that they can come out a change and transform the person? 

Absolutely.

Why do you believe that your mother will never be able to get to the point where she realizes what she did, takes ownership of herself and rekindles a relationship with all of you and finds love once again?

We’ve all tried.

Listen to what you said. You said all these other people, all these other things, it’s possible but then when it comes to your mother, the closest thing to you say, “It’s impossible.” Do you believe that you can become who you want to be? 

I do.

The preparation is never going to be there because you can’t prepare for what’s to come. Your mom could walk in to where were you are tomorrow and be like, “I fucked up. I did this.” You have no clue. You have zero clues. You don’t know what’s going to happen. How can you prepare? It’s with an open heart. It’s with healing yourself. It’s not about healing her. You’ll never be able to heal her and no one will be able to heal her except for herself. Sometimes people will never heal themselves because they can’t get to that point because nobody supports them. Nobody will go to bat for them even if they hate it, whatever it is. Many people have messed up in their lives, murder, drug abuse, this, that. They’ve taken a complete 180 and transformed their life. Let me ask you honestly, what do you think is the first step in you transforming yourself?

Dealing with my traumas for sure because I can’t go forward unless I fix what’s going on in here.

If you always have open wounds and you’re showering in alcohol, it’s always going to burn. What do you need to do with these wounds? 

Patch them up.

Not just patch them up. That’s the way society thinks, “We need to patch up these wounds because that’s what’s going to heal them.” No, we need to put the proper antibiotics on them or we need to put the specific things on them so that we know that it is healing. Why do we go to a chiropractor once we’re hurt? How are we out of alignment that we always need to go see someone once we’re hurt or we need fixing? Why can’t we be a preventative like a society where we’re always maintaining our health and maintaining our strengths and everything that we have so that our weaknesses don’t knock us off the trail? Let me ask you again, what’s the first step in you becoming who you want to be with your work, with your relationships, with your communication, with the way that you show up?

Putting antibiotics on my wounds and going to the chiropractor before my back hurts.

Your mom is the injury in a way? 

Yeah.

You’re going to get to a point where it’s not much going to be an injury anymore. It’s going to be something that you’re going to have to maintain. For me, I have herniations in my low back. Doesn’t matter what I say, what I do. I have herniations in my low back and I was injured. It’s significantly has impacted my life. I can go through the rehab process. It sucks by the way. It’s shitty and annoying. I have to think about the way I’m standing, the way I was sitting, the way I’m grabbing the pencil, washing the dishes, everything. Once I heal, what do I have to do? I have to be in this preventative maintenance plan or perspective for the rest of my life so that I don’t get injured again. With your mother, it’s interesting that we’re talking about your mom because this is clearly what’s causing a lot of things in your life. What’s the first step for you to be able to heal that relationship?

Reaching out to her because she tries to get in contact with me in various different ways, and I haven’t talked to her in quite some time.

It’s because of resentment, pain. I’ve done this many times with people. You can gain something from this, from my experience. I was supposed to do an ad for Rubberbandits, and not even an ad. I told them, “I’ll post your resistance bands on my YouTube channel.” This is when I was killing it, 60,000 to 100,00 views per video. I did it for two years. For two years, I thought about it whether there is every day, every week. I always thought about it. Finally, after 2.5 years, I picked up my phone, I called the guy, we weren’t in contact anymore and I said, “I remember what I told you that I would make a video with your resistance bands in it and push people there and I never did it. I’m going to do it tomorrow.”

After 2.5 years, think about how much weight other shit holds on us when we push it to the back of our minds or when we say we’re going to do something but we don’t. How many times we say we’re going to do something and how much it weighs in the back of our minds as we grow. One year passes, by then another year passes by, “I’m not going to go on this diet. I’m not going to eat this. I’m not going to talk to this person. I don’t want to rekindle this. That’s not good enough for me. I don’t want to speak up. I don’t want to ask that question.” Soon enough, you become somebody that can’t ask the question because you haven’t asked the question your entire life.

You can consistently say, “I don’t know if I love my mom. I would love her in a perfect world, to be able to talk about stuff and her taking ownership,” whatever. What you’re saying is not even about the ownership. It’s not even about any of that. You want to be seen and heard by your mother and have a loving relationship where you can talk to her and she cares that you care. It’s great. It’s incredible. It’s rewarding. The fact is you’ll never get there and all you’re doing is hurting yourself more and more when you’re not pursuing that. That’s it. You have an opportunity in your life to be able to pursue that in some way, shape or form. You’re going to do it?

Yes.

CUE 70 | Dealing With TraumaWhy would you do it? 

Because I know I need to.

Why would you do it?

For myself.

Why would you do it? 

To grow and to help her as well.

Why would you do it? This is all stuff that you think is the reason for why you would do it. Why you would do it is because you want a loving relationship and you want to be able to provide to the world the way that you talk about it. You know without a doubt that all of this stuff is holding you back because of what?

I’m hurting a little bit.

You’re hurting a lot and this is the problem as well. I do this in my life as well. I discount my pain. I got shit that’s going through my mind. I’m a sad puppy. I will be real with it. I’m like, “I’m in pain.” That’s the truth of the matter. I’ve got herniations. I’m going through emotional shit, all these different stuff. It’s happening. That’s who I am and I embrace it. I don’t tell someone if they say, “How do you feel?” I’m like, “Uhm.” It’s not a guessing game for people. It doesn’t need to be. It’s, “I feel like shit right now. I feel sad. I’m in pain. I’m uncomfortable. I have these good things that are happening in my life, but this shit is fucking with me.” What happens? They want to support you, especially if they care about you. You know what you struggle with? Support. You rarely ask exactly what you want from people. I could guarantee it. Is that right? 

That’s 100%.

You only give a little bit. You say, “You want to go to the coffee shop?” You’ll say that 150 times. What you’re saying is, “Brendan, I have this problem and I see you. I’m inspired by you and I appreciate you so much. I need help. Can you be there for me?” What you’re afraid of is no.

Being vulnerable. That’s a little scary.

That is being vulnerable though. You’re afraid of the answer. You’re afraid of the action of the other person. Do you know why people’s relationships are fucked up and stuff? Because they can’t be real. They can’t say to someone else, “When you say this, you make me feel like this. This is why I feel this way or I do love you, but when you do this, it makes me feel unloved.”

I’ve never been able to have that open communication with people close to me.

The past. Today is when you start. What does a challenge that you can hold yourself accountable for starting today? I want two. One about your mom and two about your own life, about outside of your mom. What are two things that you can do that challenge yourself so much that make it hard that it almost makes you want to cry or cringe?

I’ve been wanting to write my mom a letter or an email telling her how I feel and what she did to me and why she made me feel that way.

Don’t make it about all that she did. The second you go into a conversation and you start pointing fingers, guards come up. Defense mechanisms. “No, I didn’t.” It becomes a shouting match. Do you think someone could be vulnerable if they’re shouting or upset or there’s a lot of emotion into it? What if you started the conversation with, “Mom, I have missed you. I’m hurting. This is how I feel. I would love for you to be in my life. We have a lot to work through. Are you willing to work through them with me?” What if you started off that way?

I have before and it didn’t end well.

What do you mean it didn’t end well? 

We argued and she never apologized for anything.

When did the argument come? She didn’t apologize. This is the problem that we face. Madison, I’m similar. You’ve got to understand, but this is the stuff that I’ve worked through and I’ve seen it time and time again. We keep telling ourselves at the end of the day, she didn’t apologize. What do you have control over?

Myself.

That’s it. If someone doesn’t apologize, that’s on them. What you can do is forgive on your side and keep it that way. When you argue with someone, who’s arguing?

You against yourself.

No, you’re arguing with the other person. When you’re in a relationship, who are you in a relationship with? The other person. If you’re in love, generally you’re both in love or when you like each other, you both like each other. It takes two to tango. What if you never argued? You say that you started it in that way, but start looking at it from a different perspective. This is what you’re doing for the rest of your life, honestly. It’s not just with your mom, it’s you’re in about 50% and then when that shit gets tough and the things start coming up, you go right back. You’re like, “No, but she didn’t take responsibility.”

Allow yourself to speak to the people around you - positive self-talk only. Click To Tweet

When you’re on your story, you make your story, you’re 50% in, you’re about to post it and you’re like, “No, all that nope. Done.” When you’re personal training, when you’re going up, you want to train someone, whatever it is, you’re invested. You feel like you’re on the ball. They walk into the door, but once you sit face-to-face with them and they start coming up with reasons why they can’t do it, retract. “I’m done. I can’t.” How do you get past that 50%? It’s that 1% after it. It’s that first little step. This is why I tell everyone around me it’s a baby step. When I talk about fucking baby step, if you take a human and they’re sprinting, let’s say it’s 100 yards and there’s a baby to the left of you, and there’s someone that’s going to fire off to say go, you need to be the baby in this journey.

Probably in the 100 yards, the baby’s going to learn how to crawl, then walk, then maybe a little faster walk and that’s it. How small those steps are and how long? If you gave a baby food, water, comfort, all these different things so that the baby had to go 100 yards, it would take them so long. It would almost be fucking painful to watch. It’ll be cute, at the 50-yard line, “Cute little baby.” At the end of the day, it’s going to be like, “She’s exhausting. Go. Come on, baby, walk, run. Can you please get to 100 yards?” That’s the way we need to approach our lives. You to have something unique about you. I can see it. Everybody can see it. You wouldn’t have 25,000 followers. You wouldn’t have somebody that’s saying this about you or whatever the whole amount of followers. You wouldn’t have someone that likes you or loves you in a relationship. You wouldn’t have your father that cares about you or your brothers or you wouldn’t have friends. You want to be on this fucking podcast if you didn’t have something unique about yourself.

That’s the beautiful thing is that everybody has something unique about themselves. When you start looking into their eyes as not just one person but one million people, Madison, your life will transform. When you look into your mom’s eyes, don’t look into the eyes of pain and a pissed off woman and someone that doesn’t care about you. Look into your mother’s eyes with love. Look into their eyes as a little baby, as someone that went through shit, as someone who is in more pain than you could ever imagine. I bet she’s in way more pain than you. Two challenges, what are you going to do the first challenge with mom? Go ahead.

Reach out to her with no expectations.

Are you going to give up on it? 

No.

If she argues with you, starts pointing fingers, what are you going to do? 

Not block her.

What are you going to do? 

Try and talk through it.

No, you’re not going to try. 

I’m going to talk through it.

You’re going get through it. As you develop that relationship, you’re not giving up. I won’t let you give up. You’re not going to give up on the relationship. The second you give up on the relationship, you’re giving up on your life. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. You ever heard that before? 

I have.

The way you talk to this person, the way you invite this person, the way this happened, it relates to every other area of your life. The reason why I know you well and I don’t even know you well is because I’ve seen you do other things. I’m like, “I know how she acts in relationships. I know how she works with her business. I know how she reacts on her social media. I know how she does this and this,” because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. The way you’re going to treat your mom is you’re not going to give up because you’re going to give up on yourself. You’re going to take control of your mind. When she reacts and gets upset or gets pissed off, let’s assume that she is going to, what are you going to do?

Be the bigger person.

Y going to be you. There are no bigger people. You’re not a bigger person. I’m not a bigger person. Just because she can’t deal with it doesn’t make her any less than you. What you’re going to do, you’re going to come from an open and loving mindset and acknowledge her. That’s it. Acknowledge what they’re saying and come with love. We can work through it. I’ll help you through this shit. It doesn’t matter to me. Number two, what’s another huge challenge for yourself? 

I’m going to talk on my story every day, look out everyone.

For how many days? 

Every day.

For how many days? 

Forever. The rest of my days.

You can’t say that. Bullshit, you won’t do that. For how long? Be realistic. Let’s do baby steps. 

I was going to say every day for a week.

Seven days. When are you starting?

CUE 70 | Dealing With Trauma

 

Today.

Your face is going to be on the camera. 

Unfortunately.

No.

I’m kidding, yes.

Your word is your world. You ever heard of that saying? Honestly, Madison, it’s not funny. 

I have self-deprecating humor.

I understand, but it’s not funny. People take their lives like a game. They think it’s a joke. Do you know why I’m successful and the reason why I have a Go, Go, Go mindset and I’m going to conquer the world? Because life isn’t a game to me. When someone rejects me or someone makes me feel like shit or I even make myself feel like shit, I look at that in the mirror and I say, “I need to change this. I need to transform from this. I need to work on this. If I don’t, I’m giving up on myself.” If I say a negative thing about this situation or that situation or myself, I’m giving up on myself every single second. Your self-deprecating humor doesn’t serve you and that’s not even a thing. That’s beautiful humor. Humor that’s about something funny that you saw or joke that you just made or whatever it is. Step into that power. Once you do, you’re going to start looking at your life completely different. You’re going to look in the mirror and you’re not going to say any jokes. You’re going to say a joke about your eyebrows, your nose, your lips, about your body, the way you eat, anything. Only positivity is going to come in. You ever heard of being impeccable with your word? Impeccability, do you know what it means? 

Yes.

Being impeccable with your word starts in your mind. Do you know what you’re saying when you say something negative about yourself or a joke? There are a million things that you’ve been saying in your mind about yourself. That’s one phrase that you said. There’s way more that’s going on up there. Start with your mind, baby steps. In your story, what are you going to do for a week? 

Speak to the people, positive self-talk only.

Why?

Words are everything.

When you’re speaking to them, who are you speaking to? 

Myself.

If you’re positive, how are people going to react?

Positively.

What do you want in your life? 

All positivity.

Why? 

That’s what I need and that’s what I want.

That’s not what you need. That’s what you always want. Huge difference. I’m going to hold you accountable for seven days. If you read this podcast all the way through, you probably related in some way, shape or fashion. We all have shit from our past that keeps on coming up that we just don’t fucking deal with. We try and put it in the back of our minds but eventually the shit comes up.

It manifests so badly into everything.

That’s the truth. Soon enough, it turns into food. You said you have something that goes on with food?

I have a history of anorexia.

That all comes from past experiences. I’m excited for you to take the next step and level up. This is the first step in the journey. I want you to come on another podcast. It’s not going to be talking about your problems. It’s going to be talking about all the good and the positivity and love and the compassion and the steps that you took and all this shit. It’s going to be beautiful. I can’t wait for people to hear it. Everyone that’s reading still to this point, they took something from it 100%. They felt some shit or they’re going through something similar. Always know whether you are reading or watching, you are not alone ever. There’s always someone that’s going through a similar situation or even worse than you. Stay up, stay positive, create you, ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. It’s baby steps. A hundred yards start now, first step. Madison, what would you like to say to the people? Give us something. 

I promise I’m not as negative as I seem.

Even right there, you’re worried about how people perceived you. Did you hear that? 

Yes.

That’s negative self-talk. What’s something that you could tell the people? Go ahead.

If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. No matter what.

Give them something positive. Something that isn’t about fixing someone or healing something, whatever. Give them something that you believe in, what’s on that you believe in? 

That we are products of our past, but we’re not prisoners of it. You can get through absolutely anything.

Why? 

You are strong and you are worth it.

That’s beautiful. Thanks for tuning in for another episode of the CreateU Experience. If you want to follow Madison on Instagram, it’s @Ricebowll. Watch her journey. She’s a badass. She’s going to make some shit happen and I’m excited to watch it firsthand. I love you and appreciate you. You don’t even know how much I appreciate you, but what I do know is that you’re going to transform a million lives. You, Ricebowll, and everyone reading, you don’t even know it yet. Your impact is grand. Whether you walk into Chipotle and you order a double wrap burrito or you buy something from Best Buy or you’re snowboarding down a mountain, you have an impact, even if you feel like you’re worth nothing. This is Madison and we’ll see you next time. Peace.

Important Links:

About Madison Rice

CUE 70 | Dealing With TraumaMadison is a personal trainer in the Denver area. She specializes in crossfit and olympic lifting.

Episode 69: Go Go Go Mindset

 

Out of all the things in the world, your mindset could be the first and ultimate thing that’s hindering your growth. Changing your mindset will certainly do you a lot of good. Brendan Myers discusses having the mindset of a go-getter as an important step in actually going and getting what you want out of life. A simple shift can radically alter the way you see the world, especially the things you already have right in front of you. Work on your mindset today to bring out the best in you!

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts

Listen to the podcast here:

Go Go Go Mindset

The Reason Behind It All

This is a Quicktime Friday and you know what that means. If you don’t know what that means, let me remind you. Every single Friday we come on here, maybe it’s 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. I answer a question. I look in my reviews. I talk about a specific topic or I discuss this or that to bring you a little bit of spice to your week and to ignite maybe a breakthrough or bring your vision to life in some way, shape or form. It starts somewhere. That’s what the CreateU Experience and Quicktime Friday means to me and hopefully, it means the same to you. Fuck and by the way, I cursed because it’s unfiltered. You should probably stop reading if you don’t like curse words because I do once in a while. I don’t have an apology for that.

CUE 70 | Changing Your Mindset
Changing Your Mindset: It’s your energy that gives the vision and the possibilities and the opportunity to the people around you.

 

This is going to be a fun one. We have an interesting topic. It’s this the go, go, go mindset that everyone sees me possess. I don’t know if possess is the right word. It sounds a little freaky, but I have this mindset that no matter what, I keep on moving forward. It doesn’t matter what position I’m in. I could be going through a breakup. I could go through some hardships. I could experience a tragedy. I could be severely injured, whatever the case may be, I keep on moving. I have a tattoo on my left wrist and that represents the warrior spirit. It’s a sword with a spiritual thing going around it. It represents that no matter what, it doesn’t matter the circumstances, I am going to fall forward. I am never going to fall backward.

No matter the circumstances, you always have to fall forward, never backwards. Click To Tweet

Even if someone stabs me on the battlefield or whatever it is in my life, whatever, I’m always going to fall forward because that’s all I know. The reason why I know this and this go, go, go mindset is because since I was a kid, I used to open up the door to my hallway outside of my room to watch my father through the crack get ready for the day at 4:30 AM, literally every single day. I would watch him and I’d be questioning and I’d be like, “Why is he waking up early? What’s the point of this grind that he doesn’t even talk about?” He just does. He’s always showing up for my brother and my sister and his family. Like, “What the fuck is this?”

That’s where it started, but that wasn’t the sole motivation to where I am now. I literally am go, go, go. I wake up at 2:00 in the morning and I think of an idea, I write it down or I text somebody. I check in on someone if they’re not feeling well or they need some support because I know what I would want in specific situations like that. If I want to buy something, if I want to go somewhere, I go, go, go. I do it. I make it happen. Yes, it’s a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse in many ways, but more so blessing in many ways, but I do think that it is extremely valuable when you hear a little bit more about why I do what I do. It’ll be interesting. Let me jump right in. Outside of my dad waking up every single morning, another factor that played a huge role in the way that specific people treated me growing up.

I always felt like I wasn’t enough. I felt like I wasn’t heard. I wasn’t seen. I was a mistake. I was a fuck up. I was always different things. As I continuously looked at myself in the mirror and I saw this beast and not in a good way, I always questioned everything around me. I questioned my relationships, I questioned my parents. I questioned literally everything and anything you could think of. The only mentality that I had was, “If I show up and I work as hard as possible, I show up for other people, I care, and I do all these different things, then maybe I will be seen. Maybe some will understand that I am a positive beast, that I have so much to offer the world and I’ll be heard and all these different things.”

Growing up, that was my sole motivation. That right there, it was like, “I need to be seen even if I’m being made fun of.” Whatever it is, I worked and I worked my ass off. I would go in the morning during high school and I would go and train at 4:35 AM and then after school I’d go and train again because I knew exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in the NFL. I wanted to do this and that. That was like me all the time. It came from and all this motivation, this go, go, go mindset, it came from consistently people putting me down. Telling me that I wasn’t good enough, telling me that I couldn’t make it, telling me, “You can’t do this. You won’t do this. You won’t see this.” As I was depressed and having more and more anxiety and going through this and that, it fueled my fire. When someone would say something to me, I’d take a tally. When someone would put me down, I’ll take a tally. If a girl rejected me, I’d take a tally. Soon enough, I built up enough motivation to live and breathe, working my ass off until I would get sick.

The interesting thing is I started to I got sick here, sick there, got injured here, injured there. Soon enough, I almost became immune to how hard I worked. It was second nature. As I grew, as I got older, and I started to look at everything from a different perspective, I forgave everyone that talks shit about me, that said this about me. My motivation wasn’t, “I want my brother to see me in the NFL anymore.” It wasn’t any of that stuff anymore. I started to become more that I didn’t want other people to feel the way I felt. From there, it was more so I want to see other people’s visions come to life in a healthy way, not a negative way like mine has throughout the majority of my life.

CUE 70 | Changing Your Mindset
Changing Your Mindset: Whatever your passion is, put your attention into it, understand it, and then push it into a vision.

 

My go, go, go mindset, where it comes from, is clear to me. It’s specific. I truly want to see other people succeed and I want to see them have a smile on their faces as I have for many years now when they accomplish their vision. When they’re on the right path and when they have a beautiful relationship and when people are supporting them and all this stuff. It’s okay to take a negative and turn it into a positive and then utilize that positive like wildfire. It is okay even if it derived from a negative. A lot of us try and block off this stuff. Maybe it’s me and the way my father made me feel when I was younger and my brother or the way this kid made me feel and I say to myself, “That’s not why I’m a go-getter,” or I’ll say, “I’m a go-getter because of that.” It’s not even a good thing, but the fact is that I’ve shifted.

I’ve taken all the negative and I turn it into a positive. Now, I say, “I’m a go-getter because I care. I’m a go-getter because I’m compassionate. I’m a go-getter because I’m blessed. I’m a go-getter because I’m grateful. I’m a go-getter because I see things in other people that they don’t even see in themselves.” It started with resentment. It started with pain. It started with discomfort. It started with all of this shit and all these things holding me back. Now, I’ve turned it into something that propels me forward. It not only propels me forward but people around me. It’s my energy that gives the vision, the possibilities, and the opportunity to people around me. That’s the beauty of it.

If I feel like I’m not go, go, go, it’s not that I’m like giving up on other people, but I’m giving up on myself. Go, go, go is like second nature. I wake up and I fucking get after it because I know what’s possible and that’s it. That’s the go, go, go mindset, where it comes from for me and maybe you learn something from that. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’m not as much of a go-getter because of this or because this person made me feel this way or this past relationship fucked me up,” or whatever it is. The cool thing is that you can shift at this moment and move forward. The present time is the most beautiful time because you’re not worried about the future.

You’re not worried about the past and you have control over just that, right there, literally your mind in that present time. If you’ve been struggling, whatever it is, now is the day that you change. Honestly, this is the day you ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. That’s the tagline of CreateU for a reason. You can ignite at any point in time. Look at what’s around you. Look at your blessings. Look at what you’re grateful for. Look at what you want to accomplish. If you don’t even know what you want to accomplish, look at the things that do bring you joy in your life at this moment. You might think it’s nothing, but next time you’re walking around, maybe you’re talking to someone or whatever, pay close attention to what ignites you, get you a little excited or even gets you a little happier, why you’re smiling or whatever.

It's okay to take a negative and turn it into a positive, and then utilize that positive like wildfire. Click To Tweet

It could be a comedy, it could be music, it could be gaming and it could be anything. Whatever it is, put your attention into it, understand it and then push it into a vision or something that you can become passionate about. It’s okay if it doesn’t start now, but get started in any way, shape, and form that you can. That’s by being present and embracing whatever’s going on around you. Go, go, go mindset, that’s what you’re getting for me. Life’s good. Even when it’s bad, think about all the good that is going to be coming. I always say this. I say time and time again, you cannot climb to the top of a mountain without pain. It’s impossible. It is. This is Quicktime Friday. Peace.

Important Links:

Episode 68: Let It Go!

 

Letting go is one of the most difficult things that we will ever face in our entire lives. That could be letting go of a business that you love or pretty much anything that you’re passionate about. On today’s show, Brendan Meyers talks about this sensitive matter and gives an example of something that’s going on in his life that he’s letting go of – a toxic relationship. 2020 is a new year with new opportunities. Take a look inside and ask yourself what you need to let go of so you can take hold of and focus on new things that truly serve you.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts

Listen to the podcast here:

Let It Go!

Taking The Next Step

I feel like I haven’t talked to you in a very long time, but I’m here. I’m back and I’m super excited. I don’t know where you’re starting in 2020. You might have some goals. You might be starting a new business and a new relationship. Maybe it’s the complete opposite. Maybe you lost someone, you lost something, you failed or you made a mistake, whatever it is, it’s 2020. It’s a new year and new opportunity. Let’s buckle up and let’s get focused and have some fun with this show. My New Year was very interesting. I’ve been focusing on letting somebody go in my life that has brought a lot of toxicity, not only my business but my relationships and the way I treat myself. The reason why I want to talk about this is because CreateU is all about being vulnerable, being open and honest. This is the tagline of CreateU, if I want to truly ignite my breakthrough and bring my vision to life, then I’ve got to be open and honest here as I would need to be with myself alone.

What I want to talk about is letting go. This is something that is one of the most difficult things that we will ever face in our entire lives. That could be letting go of a business that you love or pretty much anything that you’re passionate about. It could be a girl, it could be a guy, it could be a car, it could be the clothes in your closet. I believe I did do an episode on letting go. This is a different and changed perspective. I’ll give you an example of something that’s going on in my life that I’m letting go of. There’s a person that I extremely care about. I know that this relationship is toxic. There are telltale signs. There are a lot of red flags. This thing’s popping up, that’s popping up. It’s obvious and what it’s doing to me, the way that I’m reacting, the way that I’m shifting to everything. Other people around me are like, “Brendan, what’s going on? What’s happening?” It’s been very hard for me to let go of this person and I’ve been struggling with it every single day.

I know one thing, that in the end, I am going to come out so much stronger. I am going to have an experience that I can not only represent and understand for myself and future opportunities and relationships but also anyone that comes up to me, I can express them like, “You’re not alone. You’re human.” This is what we do, we connect to people. If you feel this way, you feel rejected, you feel alone, I’ve been there. One of the hardest things to do in the process of letting go is not taking things personally and thinking that, “I had to let this person go. If I don’t respond to them, it’s my fault. If I don’t show up or support this person in the way that I say I’m going to, or the way that I want to, then they’re not going to like me anymore. They’re not going to appreciate me anymore.”

We play this victim situation, which definitely is not healthy for us because, at the end of the day, we need to do what’s best for us. A lot of the times we let go of our own support of ourselves, for the support of other people. That’s not right. You should be saving yourself every single day. That could be with your business. It could be with your friend, wherever or whatever you’re dealing with. The first step in letting go, number one, embracing what’s going on. It might seem a little bit weird like “Brendan, will you embrace me? How do you embrace? What’s going on?” You sit with it and you allow yourself to hurt, to cry and to be happy. You allow yourself in any way, shape and form to be who you are in the moment. That’s pretty much it. Even when I’m talking about this, I’m afraid that this person is reading. I still have this resistance. I’m like, “I don’t want to ruin it. I want this person in my life. They’ve been in my life for so long and I truly care so much.”

Embrace the pain. As time goes on, if you're learning and taking the next steps, you’re going to see something beautiful. Click To Tweet

At the end of the day, it needs to be what’s best for me, not what is best for the other person. I know that might sound super selfish, but you’ve got to be selfish in your life in order to create what you want to create. That’s the truth. Sometimes you’ve got to step on toes. You have to and you try not to and sometimes it’s required in letting people go. That’s stepping on someone’s toes. Number two, you need to be okay with not having them in your life anymore, and you can do this in numerous ways. One, you can start hanging out with different people. Two, if it’s a business partner, you can focus elsewhere on a different business or whatever that case may be. Most importantly, you need to be able to sit there in your sorrows or sit there in that factor and know that it’s going to be better. All this pain and stuff, this is where you build all the strength. Be okay with it and moving on.

Number three, my biggest suggestion, whether it is a business partner, it could be an ex-girlfriend, it could be an ex-boyfriend, this is a personal experience. This is perfect for me. I mute the person and I don’t like their stuff. I don’t check in with them. I allow myself to evolve. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m a horrible person, so I’m not going to unfollow them and block them. Because I need to work through my stuff until I’m ready to be able to be friends with that person again or welcome them back into my friend group. Number four, I tell them if they ever texted me or they ever hit me up like, “I need time and some space for myself.” This allows these boundaries to be set in. If you don’t create boundaries, you’re going to keep on bouncing off different walls and not even knowing which is right or which is wrong.

CUE 68 | Letting Go

 

Boundaries are important. They represent yourself worth, at the end of the day. If you want to get over it, you want to become stronger, you want to be a happier person, then let go of this person in your life is necessary. One of the most difficult things about letting someone go is you think that it’s never going to be again. It’s interesting because even one of my ex-girlfriends, we’ve rekindled a relationship. I look at her so much differently. It’s mind-blowing to me, but when I was going through the therapy, when I was going through the breakup, I thought, “I’m never going to reconnect with her. It’s never going to be beautiful again. All of this is lost and I’m in pain.” Not only did I grow from it personally, but our relationship is pretty cool. She’ll hit me up sometimes and say that she’s proud of me. I’ll do the same with her. Maybe, one day we go for dinner and maybe we hang out and click again. You never know what’s going to happen, so stop making assumptions.

That’s the third law in The Four Agreements. If you haven’t read that book, go ahead and read that. The third law is do not assume. Assuming creates an expectation that can, no matter what, it will be faltered in some way, shape or form. It’s not going to be 100% what you thought it was going to be. Another step is to trust the process. It’s much easier said than done. You only have control over yourself and your mind. If you keep on dwelling on the what-ifs like, “What does this person thinking about me? Do you think that he cares about me? Do you think that she cares?” If you’re going through it, they are going through it as well. Energy doesn’t work in one way. Do you ever notice if you’re at a restaurant, you’re in a big group of people or a group of friends, you’re at a party, you have this weird energy with one person and you’re like, “What?”

CUE 68 | Letting Go

 

Most likely it’s the opposite sex. It’s like, “What is that feeling like? I feel that she doesn’t like me or we won’t connect.” What’s happening is that the other person’s feeling is the same thing you’re feeling and it’s odd to them as well. That could be an opportunity for you to connect and to be able to evolve to something. What many of us do is we block out all these feelings and connections, we subconsciously let go of people when we don’t even want to. We were never able to experience that or understand it. The process of letting go can be extremely difficult but in the end, I promise on anything, you will grow so much from it. I’ve been there in so many different instances. I’ve had to let go a lot of people in my life, especially if I wanted to create what I’m creating with CreateU and CreateU Experience, this show and the products that we have. Go to CreateUNutrition.com if you want to pick up anything.

It’s one of the hardest things, if not the hardest thing to deal with and work through that you’ll ever experience, but know that it’s going to be beautiful on the other side. I do want to leave you with one last thought. If you ever heard of someone climbing Mount Everest or a mountain that’s tall and it takes hours, even days to climb. Let’s even say a ten-hour or fifteen-hour climb to the top. If you’re going to be climbing for that much time, do you believe it’s going to be painful? To get to the top to see the scenery, the beauty, the nature, to feel the cool air, get you that thin air and to get to that peak, do you believe it’s going to not bring any pain, that it’s going to be easy? Absolutely not. The same thing goes with all of our journeys in our lives, especially with letting go of someone. The journey is difficult and it pains you, and you want to do this and you want to do that. You want to make sure you’re not posting on social media because you don’t want that person to feel like this. You start changing the way that you’re posting and then you start changing the way that you talk to this person.

CUE 68 | Letting Go

 

It starts eating up at you and the fact of the matter is, all of this is okay. The pain that’s coming, you should embrace it. As time goes on, if you’re learning and you’re taking the next steps, you are going to see something beautiful like the peak of that mountain. It’s going to be painful. You’re going to be sore. You’re going to be exhausted, but that’s okay. If you’re staying on top of your nutrition, if you’re staying on top of your liquids, your hydration and you’re staying on top of relationships and you’re in positive spirits like, “This is going to work out. This is going to be good for me.” Letting go will be that much more rewarding in the end. I want to leave with all these different steps and embrace it. You have to be okay with it. Do some tactics, maybe hide their profile, let them go. If you need to unfollow them, go ahead and unfollow them. Stay positive. Think about the future and learn through the process and make it harder for yourself if you need to. Make it harder, as hard as you can because on the other side, it is that beautiful.

Thanks for reading another QuickTime Friday of CreateU Experience. Go to CreateUNutrition.com if you need any type of product. We are almost done with our Vegan Protein. Our Natural Pre-Workouts are coming out with natural, flavored, colored and all that stuff is coming. That’s a big opportunity for us. Stress product, female hormone balancing and so much more is coming out. Follow me on Instagram, @TheBMeyers, and send me a message or a DM. Also, you could pick up the seven free gifts from myself when you review the show on iTunes. Go ahead and do that. I appreciate it and I’ll see you next time.

Important Links:

Episode 67: Life As A 15 Year Old With Jessica McNeil

 

Wouldn’t it be eye-opening to have a new and different perspective of the world that we’re living in straight from someone who’s actually walking through it right now? Brendan Meyers brings on 15-year-old Jessica McNeil. A former cheerleader, Jessica also loves to draw, paint, and edit videos. Today, she talks about the difficulty of trying to fit into a group and the focus on social media, and shares the modern teenager’s perspective of the current world.

Review this podcast on iTunes using this link — http://www.createuagency.com/podcast-giveaway — and receive 7 FREE gifts

Listen to the podcast here:

Life As A 15 Year Old With Jessica McNeil

A New Perspective

This is QuickTime Friday. Every single Friday, what we do is have something short and sweet unfiltered and we dive right in. Sometimes it’s a topic, sometimes I have a guest that welcomes in a very interesting story or an interesting point of view on subjects. We are brought to you by Jessica McNeil all the way from California. I met her a long time ago. I am very close friends with her entire family and I thought it’s important that we see different perspectives on the CreateU Experience. Why not bring someone that is in high school onto the show and let’s chat a little bit? What grade are you in?

I’m in tenth grade, a sophomore.

As a sophomore, I want to dive in. First of all, you’ve been a cheerleader. What are some other things that you engaged in through your childhood like middle school and in high school? What are some things that you’ve been doing?

I consistently draw and paint a lot.

You’d say you’re very artistic. Also, you edit videos.

I still sometimes do edits.

When I think of someone that’s in high school or middle school, I think of someone that is very creative. How many people around you are extremely creative as well or are they not?

I have some friends that edit, but I don’t know a lot of people that draw a lot. They edit and use the programs like After Effects and Premiere.

CUE 67 | Perspective Of A Teenager

 

You’re in tenth grade. Tell us about high school. How do people act? Do you feel people are stuck in their ways? Do you feel like everyone’s always open to new things? Tell us a little bit about your experience.

High school is okay. I feel like everyone has their groups for sure. They’re setting their ways. If you try to become friends with them, it’s sometimes a little difficult.

As someone in tenth grade, what are the things that you’re thinking about on the day-to-day? Are you thinking more so about boys, “That boy is cute,” or are you thinking more along like, “What college do I want to go to?” Are you thinking, “What type of photos should I post on Instagram?” Tell me about that.

You described it perfectly. That’s my brain every single day, except for now. They’re like, “Are they staring at me? I’m not wearing something that’s wrong?”

That’s definitely something that happens when we’re younger. Because nobody cares about how you look, it’s just about themselves. If anyone’s judging you, in a sense, they’re judging themselves and they’re getting off all their stress. That’s something to keep in mind as you go through high school. When you look at your friends and what they’re doing, is it focused heavily on social media? Is that the talk around school all the time? It’s like, “Did you see this meme? Did you see this hashtag?” Is that what’s going on?

For sure, 1,000%. That’s all my friends and I talk about.

Do you care about the government at all?

We don’t talk about that unless we’re in history. My history teacher’s pretty cool.

CUE 67 | Perspective Of A Teenager

 

Does he even talk about the government talks about social media?

He actually does talk about a lot of social things to get everyone’s attention.

What are your thoughts on social media? Do you think it’s good? Do you think it’s bad for your generation, 10th, 11th, 9th grade, all the kids that are around you, the young adults, the teenagers?

I don’t think it’s beneficial for anybody because in my personal experience, it is a way to compare yourself to everybody. It lowers your self-confidence and stuff, but also I’m a hypocrite because I’m on everything.

You’re also creative. I see this consistently with the younger individuals. The confidence lowers, but the creativity is inflamed. The opportunities that you guys have to post something that you enjoy, maybe you put a sentence out there or a funny meme and everyone is laughing at it. You have opportunities all the time to take your creativity to the next level. In what ways do you feel like it affects not your confidence, but everyone’s confidence?

I like to follow this girl. She’s stunning and everyone loves her, so I’ll go through her comments and be like, “I wish that was me.”

You look at these people and you think that they’re almost perfect.

Pretty much, they’re above everybody else.

Social media isn’t beneficial for anybody because it makes you compare yourself to everybody. Click To Tweet

 

Why do you feel that way? Why do you think that?

People treat them like that. You’re inclined to feel like that.

I hate to tell you that every single person on social media that you see that’s killing it, having the best life possible, the majority of them are having a lot of struggles in their life and they’re going through a lot. They don’t express a lot of it because why express it to anybody else if everyone’s given me confirmation like, “I am good enough. I am strong enough, I am heard and all these different things.” Second of all, they’re not as rich as you may think they are. The cars that they’re driving or the cities that they’re in, they’re usually using other people’s stuff and it’s not a great life for the future for them.

Anything that you’re developing, being in high school, you want to focus on long-term. What are you going to create long-term? Editing for instance. It’s going to get you so far in life. Being someone that can create anything with your hands, any art, that can take you so far in your life. You can do interior design. You can do so many cool things. When you think of ten years from now, where could you see yourself, “What am I going to be when I’m a little bit older?”

I feel like I want to be a vet of some sort or helping animals somehow, but I genuinely don’t feel like I’m interested in that. When my dad was talking about how he went to film school, I was like, “That’s not school. That sounds like fun.” That changed my perspective about it because why would I be doing something for the rest of my life if I don’t find it?

Are you going to go to film school?

Possibly, maybe for editing or directing.

Wouldn’t you go to film school?

CUE 67 | Perspective Of A Teenager

 

The film school that I want to go to is expensive and difficult to get into.

If you went to an expensive film school or less expensive film school, what’s the difference?

There isn’t none.

It’s experienced and you’re going through it. What’s the one thing that holds you back from editing all the time, producing content and taking that next step for yourself?

I don’t know. School and stuff, that gets in the way. You got to do your homework. I honestly should be trying to create as much as I can.

What holds you back from creating?

People’s opinions, the fear of it not being how I want it to be. I’m a perfectionist.

You’re not alone. Pretty much everyone around us is a perfectionist. They’re always wanting to be perfect. They want it to be right. A lot of fifteen-year-olds, they don’t believe that they can do X, Y, and Z even though they’re good at it. It’s becoming more and more of insecurities and lack of confidence. That’s only pushing you further behind and pushing you and steering you off course. You are extremely creative. I believe the generation that you’re in is extremely creative. You’re extremely creative, but you’re insecure in posting this or posting that on social media because you see what everyone else is doing. HSpeaker 1:   09:29   Right? But how do you think you become so great at something?

The fear of people’s opinions can sometimes hold you back from doing what you want. Click To Tweet

It’s by practicing.

You fail. You might be bad. You’re not bad. If you saw bad, you would know if you should never edit, if you can’t sync it with music and all that stuff. The first step is believing that, “I can do this and I will do this.” Your brother says something on another show. He said you have to say five times every single day, “I can and I will.” Saying things like this will allow you to be great at whatever you want to do. Film school, what do you think about it?

Honestly, that’s definitely a consideration.

This is a success. We’re at a consideration. Before it was like, “It’s too expensive.” What other things would you like to do?

People always tell me like, “It’s not a real job.” I would love to paint or do something creative, artistically.

Do you know how much money you can make as a painter?

I know but people are just like, “That’s not a real job.”

Yes, because they think that you’re painting a house. You’re creating art. Art is so valuable and you know why? Because it’s an expression. If you have such incredible expression, imagine what you’re going to be able to do when you get older. You keep on expressing on paper and through your edits and everything. Imagine where you’re going to be in 5 or 10 years. You will never think where you’re going to be. The possibilities are endless. What’s one thing that you can tell everyone that’s reading that’s fifteen years old? Maybe something that they’re going through. What’s one piece of advice that you can give them in their life?

CUE 67 | Perspective Of A Teenager

 

If they’re going through something, try to help them. If they seem like they don’t want your help, they probably are saying that because they don’t understand.

What you’re saying is no matter what that person is saying, if they’re 13, 14, 15, 16 years old, whatever age and they’re going through something, be there for them and support them and keep on to them. That’s incredible and powerful stuff. A lot of people we bypass because if you tell me like, “I’m good,” you’re generally not good. There’s stuff going on in everyone’s life and it’s not easy being a fifteen-year-old girl in a social media world with society all over the place and all these different diets, like veganism. Thanks for sharing. Honestly, I love bringing someone on like yourself that can give us deep perspective of the world.

You’re in high school and you’re doing this. There’s no fake this or that. You’re going and walking through it and it’s pretty interesting when you compare it to my generation or someone that’s 40, 50, 60, 70 years old and what they went through because it’s all similar. Certain things become a little bit suppressed and then other things become more inflamed out there and wild. Keep being creative. Keep taking these steps. I can’t wait to see you in film school kicking butt, taking it to the next level. Thanks for coming on. Where can they find you? You want people to go check out your Instagram or no?

Sure.

What’s your Instagram?

@JessicaaMcNeil.

Thanks for coming on and make sure you follow her because she is very artistic and she’s going to post more artistic stuff. Remember, you have the possibility to ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. All you got to do is say, “I can and I will.” Take one step, then take the next. You might get knocked off course, knocked off the path. Take those baby steps and you can achieve. Trust yourself. Jessica, thanks for being here. We’ll see you next time.

Important Links: