The majority of people focus too much on the things that they’re going to lose at, and that what sets successful people, entrepreneurs, and brands apart. They’re all extremely focused on the big vision, the ultimate goal, and they never stop transforming. On today’s show, Brendan Meyers explains why we should be focusing on the good, and how this winning mindset can help us stop thinking about the possibility of losing. At the end of the day, if we don’t shoot for the stars, then we’ll never get there.
Listen to the podcast here:
Focus on the GOOD!
I am feeling super juicy. I don’t know if you know what juicy means, and I don’t either, but I know I feel that way. I feel like we needed to get started off with a bang. I was walking with one of my content creators at CreateU, his name is Jeremy. He’s an incredible kid. He’s smart. He’s killing the game with editing. I was in a conversation. I told him, “I want you to listen in on this conversation for 1 hour and 15 minutes about this possible investment that CreateU would be making, that us as a team would be making to expand and make some big things happen and impact a lot of lives.” On this walk, I got so passionate. I was digging deep. If you know who I am and if you’ve been reading these blogs, if you check in with me on my Instagram, @TheBMeyers, or even if you follow the CreateU Instagram and all these other brands that we work with and we’re partnering with. You’ll notice that they’re all passionate. They’re all extremely focused on the big vision, the ultimate goal and they never stop. They always transform. They always evolve. I’m thankful to be a part of all this stuff. That’s how I am. When I’m on this conversation, I’m like, “Jeremy, pay close attention to what I’m talking about here.”
What we discussed was all about not passing by the risk and all the negatives, but focusing on that winning mindset. The majority of people focus too much on the things that they’re going to lose at. Maybe it’s a football game and you’re going up against the best team in the entire country, or you’re building a car and you’ve never installed an exhaust onto your car. Maybe you’re editing a video and you’ve never edited before, you think that it’s not going to be good. It’s going to be a bad time. You’re going to feel like you’re in the last place. Whenever you lose, I don’t know about you, but for me when I lose, I feel like I’m in last. I wasn’t close to being a first. At the end of the day, everyone that doesn’t win loses.
I was focusing on the entire conversation. What’s the risk? What would happen if we lost this or that? What would happen if we lost everything? At the end of the day, if we don’t shoot for the stars, then we’ll never get to the stars. I glanced over that risk. What my attention was gravitating towards was that winning mindset was, “How do we get there? What is the possibility of us even getting to this point or that point?” The progression, all these things. I’m still wired by this. I wanted to come on here and speak about it. Many of us, we think about the possibility of losing or we think about what it would feel like when we lose. What do you know? We lose time and time again. Maybe you’re good with relationships. You’re in a solid relationship and you’re good at developing that relationship so that your significant other feels empowered. You feel empowered and you guys love each other and all that stuff. Maybe you’re extremely bad at business. You keep on launching businesses after businesses. Maybe you’re trying to transform your body and you suck at health. Let’s come to terms that you suck at health. What is the difference between the relationship with a significant other and the relationship with yourself and food? Yourself and fitness? Yourself and making money?
There is no real difference when it comes to the mindset. If you have confidence in your relationship with a significant other, what is lacking in that confidence with the business? You haven’t done it before? How do you combat that? How do you overcome that feeling of like, “I haven’t done it yet. I’m probably going to fail?” First, you change your words. I’ve said this many times, your word is your world. What are you saying? How are you speaking to yourself? If you think you’re going to lose, you’re going to lose. Because the person next to you, if they do want to win as bad as they say they do, they’re going to think they’re going to win. That’s why some people are superior when it comes to professional sports than others. There may be many different pros, but there may be certain doubts that keep on arising. There are the physical abilities of certain athletes with others.
Think about the mindset. Think about Michael Jordan. If you have all heard the story about him in high school, he didn’t make the team, and now he’s the greatest basketball player to ever live, with a little asterisk because LeBron James is damn good. The fact of the matter is if he was anybody else, if he was the majority, he would have quit and there would be no Michael Jordan. Maybe there would be another guy, but it would not be Michael Jordan. How do you become the Michael Jordan of your life? How do you stop focusing on the losses and the what-ifs and start focusing on the how-to, the progression and what’s next?
I mapped it out like this with Jeremy on the kitchen counter, I said, “Let’s take a spectrum. You put two hands out on a table. On the right-hand side, move your hand further away. I would say 2 feet away. On your left-hand side, move it about 2 feet to the left.” This is your spectrum. On the left-hand side, this is all the good that could come from this investment that you’re going to make, into the relationship, into whatever you’re going to develop. Maybe you’re going to build a car. The best-case scenario is you put the exhaust into the car. It works perfectly. It sounds amazing. When you drive-by, people are like, “This looks great.”
All the way on the right-hand side is the risk of investment. If you do invest, this is the bad stuff that could happen. Maybe the exhaust doesn’t even work. Maybe it messes up other pieces of the car. Maybe when you’re driving, there are certain things like people don’t like the sound of it and they all think it’s ugly. There are two different sides to it. One’s a complete failure and one is a complete success. Where are you thinking when you approach a new situation, when you approach a new relationship? Everything is a relationship whether it’s with food. Some people are like, “There’s no relationship with food.” It’s the components of a relationship. How willing are you? Are you disciplined? Are you this? Are you open? Are you vulnerable?
With the exhaust, how are you thinking of implementing that exhaust into your car or installing that exhaust in your truck? How are you thinking when it comes to your Facebook ads? Maybe you want to run Facebook ads for your business and you’ve never done it before. What are you thinking? Are you thinking you’re going to succeed or you’re going to fail? The majority of people think too much about the failures. If you’re thinking so much about the positive and you understand the risk and the spectrum, you’re looking at the spectrum like, “This is the biggest failure. This is what’s possible, but also what’s possible on the other side of the entire spectrum is me with full success, with full happiness, with everything that I could ever ask for and more.” Where are you aiming?
For me, this is how I approach different situations. I aim for the win every fucking time. It does not matter where I am and who I’m dealing with. You could be a 65-year-old who’s ready to invest $10 million into my company, it does not matter. You could be a school kid that’s sixteen years old, I will still approach it the same exact way when it comes to the mindset of winning in that relationship. When I mean winning in that relationship, it also is the same with building a car, building a business, meeting a new girl for the first time or any of those things. I want to win the relationship. What does winning the relationship look like? It means happiness for both of us. It means happiness for the car being built. It means happiness for the entire team that has come together to develop CreateU. We all win at the end of the day.
If I’m always focusing on the winning but I know the risk and I know what the worst possible scenario is, do you ever think the worst possible scenario will happen? Most likely, no. I can’t put a specific percentage on it, but I would say it’s 99% chance that it’s not going to happen. There’s always that small chance, but I’ve never been in a situation where the worst-case scenario happened ever. I can’t think of one specific time. Has it come close? Yes, but it’s never been that failure because my focus is not what I’m not going to be able to do. It’s about what I am capable of doing and what I will do.
Where are you looking? Are you looking at the negative? Are you looking at the possibilities of failure all the time? Are you feeling those emotions of what failure will look like when you do fail? Are you feeling those emotions already? Have you already made the mistake before you even made the mistake? That is the difference between a winning mindset and a struggling and weak mindset. I use that word weak because it’s the truth. It’s factual. If you’re always focusing on failure, that is a weakness. At the end of the day, it is a weakness and that’s okay. When you first step into a gym, what do you do? You start off weak. What do you do when you first step onto the calisthenics park or even the gym itself? You’re weak.
If you’re a professional football player and you tear your ACL and you come back in, there have been guys that even had better careers after their tears because they didn’t focus on the weakness. They focused on, “Where am I going to be? What are my goals? What is my vision? What the fuck is going to happen after I push hard over these next six months?” I’m going to ask you one more time and come to terms with yourself. Have you been carrying that weakness with you everywhere you go with that burden? That weak burden is a damn heavy burden. It is weighing you down. The weakness is the heavier thing in your life. Do you know what’s light? Do you know what’s freeing? Do you know what will get you to jump that vertical jump of 38 inches to be able to build that successful business? To be able to do everything that you wanted to do in the gym, outside of the gym, new PRs, starting something new, new relationship. It’s about thinking about the future and thinking about what you can do now to make that shit happen.
Discipline, consistency, all of these things, it’s a relationship with whatever you’re about to invest in. That relationship will succeed when you start looking at the spectrum and saying, “I can’t just turn a cold shoulder to failure, mistakes and what the worst possibilities could be, but I sure as hell cannot focus on them and focus on what I will be in the words that I’m putting behind my action.” That’s what I had to say. Remember, Body Evolution has launched for all males. If you want to sign up for something, it’s $3 a month, daily gym workouts, bodyweight workouts, meal plans, all that stuff. Females, we have an awesome brand called SculptU for mental health and daily workouts. It’s an incredible membership as well.
We also have 1Hera, that’s for pregnant women and also moms. If you’re a mom, join 1Hera.us. It’s a great membership for you to be a part of. Workouts, meal plans, things for more pregnant and moms in general. We have other things that are coming. I told you about a gym and that is going to happen. I’m always focusing on the positives and then CreateU Nutrition. We’re developing. Thirty-five servings is finally here. If you want to pick some stuff up, CreateUNutrition.com. Those Greens, 35 servings, we’re going to be upgrading the formula even more probably in the next round or the round after that. We’re excited about that and we’re building. Thanks for reading. This is a QuickTime Friday. Check us out on Instagram, @CreateU. I appreciate you for reading. I’ll see you next time.
Times are tough right now, and if you haven’t bailed out on your dreams yet, you must be doing an excellent job. It is in times like this that we must keep pushing ourselves to keep our vision alive. In this reassuring episode, Brendan Meyers reminds us that we have come a long way to give up now. He shares some things we can do for ourselves to reconnect with our vision and get results. It is the very message of positivity that we all need in these trying times.
Listen to the podcast here:
Keeping Your Vision Alive
It’s a Quick Time Friday and 2020 is halfway over. What is going on? There’s been some good but a lot of bad. I would say there’s been the majority of bad things happening worldwide. If you haven’t checked out our episode on oppression and bringing on a black CEO, he owns Jobber Group, he’s developing an AI, and he’s successful. You should definitely check that out. It’s with my friend Joe Thurman. If you haven’t checked out our CreateU Instagram page, we’ve been trying to educate people on oppression and things that have been happening.
The COVID is still around. It’s not like it disappeared. The pandemic is still strong. A few numbers on the CDC and WHO. That’s a little iffy and what the government’s been saying. I can speak from my own personal experiences and COVID is real. Oppression is even more real than that. Let’s educate ourselves. If you didn’t know, we released Body Evolution, $3 a month membership, daily gym workouts, bodyweight workouts, meal plans, and all this stuff. You can go to GoBodyEvo.com. You’ll want to check that out. You can also go to a CreateUNutrition.com if you want to pick up your Greens.
It’s going to be five extra servings for $36. That’s exciting for us. We also launched Mood which is a stress product. I take it twice a day. I love that. We’re also releasing Immune which has elderberry, Vitamin C, Zinc Sulfate, and things of that nature in one tablet. I’ll be taking one pill as well. I hope you’re doing okay. Times are tough and I don’t know your personal experience but I have my own experience of what tough times feel like. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, what I’ve been through, or what anybody has been through. Pain is pain at the end of the day. There’s a lot of it worldwide. How can we stand up for people around us?
How can we stand up for ourselves? How can we keep on pushing forward and be those visionaries that we have always said we wanted to be and consistently be. It’s discipline. Being a visionary, it is that discipline. When things strike, when you’re in a risky situation, and something happens, if something goes wrong when you didn’t expect it, that’s where being a visionary is. It’s true and important. Many visionaries think they’re visionaries but when something hits, they don’t know what to do. They bail on their vision. I’m going to remind you to keep pushing. Keep thinking about all the things that you’ve created up until this point. Times may be tough, but a lot of good can come from tough. History presents itself correctly and represents in a way what evolution is all about. When something is going horribly wrong, there’s always a good to that end.
When there’s something good happening, there is bad that comes. How do you structure your life so that you can stand up for that vision so that when things are going rough, it’s only eye on the prize, eye on the future, eye on that light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to give you a few tips. Me personally, number one, to keep my vision alive and to show up for people around me of myself, I take responsibility. I’m going to start off by that. I’ve said it in many different episodes.
Anything that I have control over, that’s it. There are no excuses. I am who I am. If I present myself in a certain way, I’m the one that presented myself and that’s it. If you’re frustrated at me, I take responsibility because you’re frustrated at me. Maybe I didn’t communicate properly or you misunderstood me and if you misunderstood me again, I didn’t communicate it properly. Number two, set some time up for yourself. It’s going to a lake or beach. I don’t know where you’re from, going to the mountains, or for walks every single day. Starting your day with yourself and take your phone away. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m having trouble with this part.
I’m working so much. Facebook Ads are rolling. Body Evolution and SculptU is growing like crazy. We’re trying to show up for people in tough times, trying to release this and that, prepare for here and there. It gets tough but if you don’t set time to decide for yourself, you’ll notice that soon enough, you’re in a forest. You don’t even know where you’re going. You don’t have a compass. You don’t have anything. You don’t have GPS, nothing. You’re going to a forest. You know that it’s in the right direction, but you’re unsure so you take a couple of different wrong turns. At the end of the day, you find that edge of the forest but it takes you years and years longer. It’s the same type of thing with your stress levels.
You don’t want to get yourself sick. You don’t want to be exhausted when you started having heart palpitations and all that stuff. You can take your Mood from CreateU to help a little bit but let’s set some time apart. Number three, continue to challenge yourself. It’s a big suggestion. I do this through my fitness. I’m always trying to go for a personal record, personal best when I’m in the gym. It’s a bench press or deadlift. It could be a number of things, but I always try, push myself, and create challenges in my life. Another challenge is don’t go on Instagram for a certain amount of time during the day. It can feel a nuance at first.
I don’t even know if I use nuance in the right way, but soon enough, it works out. That discipline breeds results. Imagine how long you’re on your phone and stuff. That’s the next step. Get away from your phone. You have to put some time aside that you’re away from your phone and interacting with people, communicating with people, or call someone. Be on the phone and be on FaceTime. Talk to someone. How about going for a drive? This is all stuff that could keep your vision alive because you are not in those woods running in 150 directions trying to get to the end, getting to the light, getting outside of the forest, or get to the next neighborhood.
What are you doing for yourself? How are you showing up for other people? When your ego takes ahold of you. It’s another great example of things that you can be doing. When your ego is pulling at those heartstrings, you want to be angry at somebody, and you’re frustrated. What if you take a break? You meditate on it. A five-minute meditation, that’s all it takes and then you approach the situation with love and compassion. Imagine what type of results that breeds. If someone randomly comes up to you or you accidentally cut someone off in a line or in a grocery store and that person is like, “What the heck? Don’t cut in front of me? Why did you cut in front of me?”
You say something negative back to that person like, “Because I wanted to, jerk.” Even though you didn’t mean to, you didn’t know that that’s where the line was starting. That person then reacts back and is extremely negative or you can do this, “Jerk, don’t come in front of my line. You shouldn’t be cutting me.” You say, “My apology, I didn’t realize. I thought this was where the line started. I hope you have a great day.” How is that person going to react? Take that to scale, your businesses, your love life, or your friendships. Imagine if you react when you’re frustrated to somebody in a good manner, the way that person talked to you bothered you but it’s not worth responding with an impulsive mindset in that moment with hate, frustration, or something at the same energy that they’re giving you.
It’s not worth it. Why? Because you never know. Fifty percent of the time, that person that came at you with frustration may flip the switch and come at you with understanding, open ears, listening, hearing, compassion, and love. It is that easy. You’d be still surprised. When you react to people like that in a negative way, if they’re sending negative energy to you and you send negative energy back, you close off all possibilities. Even if it’s a 10% chance of that person being nice, imagine 10% of the time people being nice. How many more friends would you have? How much bigger would your network be? How many more partners would you have in your businesses?
How many more businesses would you have? How many more products would you be able to sell? How many more ingredients would you be able to get in during a quarantine like this so that you can sell your products? I’m giving you these experiences to keep your vision alive because I experienced it myself. I’ve been there. I’ve been the rotten guy, responding back to the rotten guy. I’ve been the guy that didn’t meditate. I’ve been the guy that didn’t spend any time for himself. I’m struggling with it. I need to get back to it. I’ve been the guy that was on the phone for nine hours a day. I’ve been the guy that was disrespectful. I’ve been the guy who’s failed and failed time and again. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes.
There are certain mistakes that you can bypass by listening and taking the approach with an open heart and open mind. How are you going to keep your vision alive? What are you going to do? This is a reassuring show, Quick Time Friday to get your spirits up, to get you a little bit more excited for what’s to come. You have so much potential but what is potential without discipline? What is potential without risk? What is potential without success? It’s nothing. It will forever be nothing unless you make some changes now. Transform yourself, create you, and be the experience that you want to experience. Let’s end on that note. I hope you stay blessed. Stay safe. We’ll talk soon. Peace.
With everything happening around the race relations issue in the United States right now, thought leaders from all walks of life are stepping up and raising their voices in the fight against oppression. Joe Thurman is the Founder and CTO at Jobber Group – a corporate executive running a corporate organization. When not wearing his CEO suit, Joe is well aware that he is foremost a black person. With each turn of events, it becomes all the harder for him to ignore the realities around oppression and the struggle against it that is happening around him. Joining Brendan Meyers on this podcast, Joe shares his insights on the current state of events and raises a call to action against racial inequality and oppression.
Listen to the podcast here:
Fighting Oppression With Joe Thurman
I’m not going to lie, we recorded the intro a few times because I’m not used to calling someone a black entrepreneur. I’m not used to saying my black friend, Joe, but what’s going on in the world in the United States specifically, I’m at a loss of words, to be honest. This is Joe Thurman. He’s the Owner of a great business. What’s the business name?
Jobber Group, we’re a consulting company ad for five years, but yet to your point, Brendan, it is different. We had to do this take a couple of times because to call out my color is not what we do when we go and grab a drink and when we go hang out, you don’t say this, my black friend, Joe. We have to do that because of state of things.
I wanted to bring them on because I’m trying to find my own ways to be able to give back to the movement and to give to society and shift the way people are thinking about what’s going on positively. I want to change but more so, I want transformation. The way that I think with the change, like you’ve completely taken the opposite of certain things that are happening. Over the years, there has been transformation but it’s not moving at the pace that we want.
It’s important to start out by saying that mindset of giving back or why you and I are talking. This isn’t because of what’s happening. You and I have always given back to each other, gone and collaborated on business and sat down and talked about what’s going on. I don’t want anyone to think that, “Brendan called me because I’m black and he’s trying to give back.” That’s not the case, but people will say that. The thing is we are coming together because of the conversation that’s out there. I’m at a loss as much as you are many times in this situation as we watch everything unfold.
Do I want you here because of what is happening? Of course, but do we have conversations, talk about life, relationships and everything that we want to do? Yeah. I told him this before we got on the show. When I develop a relationship with someone that is black, I almost feel closer to them. I told Joe, I was like, “I look at you as a good friend of mine. I’ve been in Denver for a year. The second that I met you, it almost felt like you understood me more and it made me feel even more comfortable.”
My girlfriend, she’s white. She’s mixed with a lot of different things, a couple of generations deep, but ultimately her mom and dad are white. She grew up in Detroit and she grew up being the only white person that was in her school. For her, she’s the same way. She feels closer to people of color, to black people. She feels the pain of what we’re talking about. Still, unfortunately, that we’re saying this in 2020, it’s hard enough to be in a mixed-race relationship at times. I understand your perspective there. I live with it.
I want to start off by saying that, I can only express so much. I don’t know what it’s like being of color. Did I grow up around it? I did. Did I see the oppression? I did. Do I still understand it on the same level as someone that is of color? I don’t. I can’t speak off of that perspective but I can give maybe some ideas of how we can transform for what’s going on, but I can’t take too much of myself. I want you, if you can, to express, you’ve grown up in Colorado. You have family in in Atlanta and in other places in the United States. From your perspective, if you can share your experience what you told me in the kitchen.
For one, part of the problem is that many times, everyone categorizes people. That’s what we have happening. All white people, black people, Republicans and Democrats think this and that’s not true. We all know that when we think about it, but that’s not how we treat people. We’re going through this every black person experiences life the same way. Every white person thinks the same way and not everyone thinks that, but let’s say that’s a general thing that happens. People put people into boxes regardless.
Even me, some of my closest friends are black. I never thought anything about it but still, because of the societal, the stuff that’s been happening, it makes certain things different. I don’t even want to talk about any other races, which is the black man. When you see someone, something goes off. It could be good or bad. Something goes off. Why? I hate that.
That’s how we’re wired as humans as some of the work that I do you can’t avoid that. Back to even what you asked me, there are times where if you’ve reached a level in America, I’m an entrepreneur. I have a good network. I know people like I do business at a good level, yes. There are days where I try to live outside of it.
What is the reality of it? Give us the reality of it. Speak freely.
The reality of it is that every day, I wake up early. I go out and I walk my dog and this is not an exaggeration. Every morning, I think about the fact of, “What do the neighbors think about me? Am I out too early?” In my neighborhood, I’m a young black man who no one knows by looking at me that I’m a CEO because I looked like a young black man who’s walking in shorts and tennis shoes with a dog and they don’t know who I know. They don’t know who I interact with and to say every day. It’s hard to talk about it.
What comes up for you?
It’s hard because you can’t outpace it. You work, you connect with people. You’re a good person. It doesn’t matter what I have because at the end of the day, if I’m not in a meeting, boardroom, and in the suit, I’m safe. They look at me, I made it through like, “That’s Joe.” At the end of the day, when I go home and when I’m not the CEO in the CEO context around people, I’m a black man. There’s no way I can change that. I was telling you about my dad. My dad is a VP at US Bank in Atlanta. The conversations we still have is that he has to think about if he’s running in the evening or at dusk, what neighborhood is he going to? That makes no sense and it’s the conversation that we still have to have. I have to think about every single thing that I do. The reality is in order for me to survive and thrive as an entrepreneur, I can’t live there. I have to understand. When these things are happening, sometimes I’m guilty of trying to think about the fact that I’m doing my thing and I’m going to stand up for people. I’m going to do that, but I can’t focus on it because there’s no way to live. I didn’t know I was going to get choked up, talking to you about going for a walk in the morning. I don’t let myself deal with that but now we’re dealing with that.
That’s the reality of what’s happening in the United States. I want to say this, I felt that shit. It chills down my spine. This is the reality of the situation in the United States. If you are turning a shoulder and you’re being cold to the situation, you’re a part of the problem real shit. If companies aren’t speaking up about this stuff and until you sat here in this chair, I thought, “It’s okay if people and the companies have their own opinions.” No. They need to get in real-life situations and have some of their closest friends express themselves because they’ve been holding it in for so long. From a white man’s perspective, what’s going on with their specific rioting, whether there’s someone that’s coming in and doing it from an outside city or anything but it’s how everyone’s feeling.
That’s what you look at rioting. Not everyone has the opportunity to come to talk to their friend, Brendan, who’s a social media influencer with followers, and get on there and talk about it. They live in a world where their job is to be able to articulate the issue and a potential solution. That’s the world I live in. I’m not saying that from education or a different, I’m saying that’s what I’ve had to learn as a skill in my life. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have it pent up. That’s what happened when we were talking. There’s a lot of systemic issues, let’s say you are on the lower end of education. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but you haven’t gone through, that’s not your job. You’re trying to live your life. You’re trying to make a living for your family. The only way that pain that I expressed to you is coming out in them is the way that they know. It’s in their interaction with other people in the streets because that’s their voice. They don’t have access.
They’re not going to get to go talk to the person who’s the CEO of this company or that company and have a conversation and say, “You need to change this. You have 10,000 employees. You need to think differently.” They don’t have that. What do they have? They have their voice, their city, the way that they interact that’s what we’re seeing. They have the way that they know how to express that. I’m not knocking it at all. I’m not saying you know me and we’re on the same page as far as the fact that at the core love is the only thing that’s going to solve this. People loving people but we’re in a moment of everyone being faced with reality.
It is not turning your back on it and coming to terms with reality. Education isn’t supposed to be easy. When you learn anything, it’s hard. Do you know why they talk about Michael Jordan being in there, taking many free throws and shot after shot and practice and practice? It’s because how do you think Michael Jordan became Michael Jordan? It requires a lot of work. If people want change or transformation, like they say they do, then it’s action. That’s going to speak way louder. Social media can only go so far. I’ll be real. Social media can only do so much. Posting a black square is only going to help so much. It’s going to push the movement. It’s going to create awareness. That’s great, that’s the first step.
Awareness is only the first step.
That’s the foundation. I have so much to say, but I want you to keep talking because you have different experiences.
The one thing that you and I talked about as well is that it’s being on the receiving end. Experiencing oppression, hate, or whatever they’ve experienced and in the race issues that we’re facing, experiencing oppression doesn’t make you understand it anymore. It makes you understand how it feels. It doesn’t make you understand it. It doesn’t give you clarity around why it happens. There’s a lot of this on both sides like, “This is how you’d be a good white person or a black person.” I get it. People are looking for stuff to say but that’s not what it is. It’s not, “This is how you’d be my good white friend.” That’s not what it is. I use this analogy in business and when organizations are trying to hire someone to help them become more diverse that’s the thing that companies are doing and probably even more so.
It passed something in the NFL, the NBA.
I’ve seen over the last year both of them. Generally, what happens is we’ll see them say, “This needs to be a person of color.” I was asked them, I’ll say, “Your only criterion for this role is a person of color. What do you expect them to do?” My pushback to them is that because someone almost drowns five times does not make them a good swim instructor. You’ve been oppressed because you’ve been pushed down, it doesn’t automatically make you the person who comes in and solves it. You should be at the table. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have that opportunity to lead it, but we should all. It isn’t like, “Go solve your problem.” That’s what it is. “Joe, you’re black, go solve your problems.”
It’s like Band-Aids. They try and put these Band-Aids like a company, “You have to have 30% of African-American race or color.” I’m like, “Why not 80%?”
That would never happen.
I know, but I’m saying because it will never happen. That’s the real question we have to ask is, “Why would that never happen?” I was on a call and they were telling me, “We’ve been struggling. We looked around at our board and we didn’t have any people of color.” My question back to them was, “Why?” You’re talking to me like, “We’re trying to fix this.” I said, “Why don’t you?” That’s the question you need to ask because you know me, you know other people, I’m not that special but for some reason we’re not special enough to be on the board. It’s not because you don’t know black. The question is back to we should have some goals. We talked about there’s laws and legislation, but that’s not going to change the way that you feel from me when I sit across the table from you. You and I were sitting across the table because we’re friends not because we’re black and white or anything like that. If you hired me for CreateU because you needed another black person, that’s how that’s wrong.
I can’t do that. To go and hire someone because the government would say, that doesn’t make sense. You walk into my office, Joe. You’re black. You’re going there. What you do? I’m like, “Fuck yeah, let’s do it.”
That’s hard for a lot of people to do. There is one thing that I heard, it was a white woman talking about race. She said that, “Some people who are white grew up not thinking that race is a thing in America.” They were them. They grew up in a neighborhood of people who looked like them they didn’t understand that they had an impact on their life because they were white. Whether they had doors open for them or anything like that, they rarely have a negative impact on their life because they’re white in America. They don’t realize that race is something that impacts people’s lives.
If you come to it with that perspective, that’s where we’ve seen this shift of people used to think it was good to say, “I don’t see color.” Now, it’s the shift of, “I hope you see it, it’s clear. I am different. I hope you appreciate that. That I grew up different from something if you don’t see that I’m black.” It used to be something good to say that was positive to everyone started to use it in this way of, “I don’t see color. I don’t see race.” You’re not getting into the conversation that we’re having. That’s where the All Lives Matter stuff is coming from. It’s like “Racism, the thing All Lives Matter.” Hell yeah. No shit. All lives matter. We understand that.
When I saw it, it was a graphic on Instagram, a guy got hurt and there was a medic with the guy and his leg was hurt. A random guy comes up and he says, “What about my leg?” He’s standing there and he’s healthy. That’s what’s happening. I was explaining to Joe and I was expressing how I felt like my perspective is it’s got to start somewhere. Muslims, if you’re of Arabic descent, you go through an airplane or anything, you get mistreated and you get harassed. That’s fucking real. If people want to call me out on that, go ahead.
Here in America, it’s real.
If you were of Mexican descent, they are also racially profiled all the time. I grew up in Florida and you have the Jamaicans, Haitians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and the Italians. You have all these different people. I’m thankful enough. I’m not saying like I’m happy that I saw it, but I’m thankful that I did see it so that I could stand up for people in a way that they may not have someone to stand for them. It does start with Black Lives Matter. Where do you think we get started? What can be done? I mentioned it in the kitchen, “If there’s legislation that’s passed, great.” That’s the first step to create a border so that we could do our work. Where do we start? What do you think?
For individuals, it starts with empathy. It starts with back to your scenario of what we’re talking about my life matters, but your life’s not at risk. If you can’t have enough empathy to take the perspective of the group that has been threatened, that is in danger and you don’t have to feel that need to have a reflex of, “My kids are white and their lives matter too.” We know no one said they didn’t. It’s this whole thing of that’s lack of empathy. That’s a lack of ability to relate to someone else without having to snap back and defend your position. You and I talked about that where pick any group. Pick Girls Scouts if something was happening to them and people started to post like, “Girl Scouts Matter.” We wouldn’t have this reflex reaction to say, “So as the Boy Scouts.” We already have reflexes.
It’s because something is going on. That’s the only reason why people have a reflex to something. When you’re defensive, it’s because there’s truth in it. I would agree. When you make a joke, you’re like, “I’m kidding.” What do you mean? That was a joke. Wasn’t it? There’s truth in all of it.
People who cannot be self-reflective, but you got to go live with it. That’s one thing we’re coming out of. In COVID, people are dealing with, “I can’t live with my spouse.” What are we coming out of? People can’t live with themselves. The people who have been forced to be in and their thoughts. It’s a sad time, mental health is a real thing and I know that’s not what we’re talking about, but that is something that people are dealing with. We’re coming out of this. We’re coming out of people already being pent up, not able to live with their own thoughts. This is something where in order to deal with this, you got to deal with your thoughts. You have to deal with the fact that when you see me, you think something, and it’s not saying that you’re wrong that you thought that, but you didn’t even admit that you did. When you didn’t do that, then you’re not going to understand the follow on from there.
You’re not going to be able to deal with your position on that. You’re never going to be able to fight for me because you’re going to not fend for me. You’re going to fend for yourself. That’s the other thing we have to get out of what I call the scarcity mindset. There’s not enough. Someone has to lose. That’s where a lot of people are fighting from is, “Black people have been losing.” I don’t believe that for us to win, you have to lose. You and I don’t sit here for my businesses to succeed and Brendan has to lose. That’s why we work, talk together and both can succeed. The reality is we can do that. It’s not only those black people, white people, Mexicans or Asians whatever can succeed. That’s not the case. We do have to realize that there is a top-down system and the people at the top might have to give up a little space. You might have to give up a little room, move over. It’s not easy and it’s not likely to happen.
It’s not likely to happen without force.
I agree with you but there is enough. It’s people who aren’t willing to make space.
I can relate it back to CreateU, our brand. We had a choice and my new membership, The Body Evolution, I had a choice. I could charge $20 a month for this thing or I could charge $3 a month for it. You have a choice. I created a wiggle room for other people. It’s adding in the last five people.
Letting them in making room.
That’s what’s happening. Let them in fully. Let them sit anywhere. With Rosa Parks and everything that’s happened over time. Maybe if they come in first, great. If they come in fifth, great. If they come in last, great. If we all go in together, life’s unstoppable.
I agree, except for when we put roadblocks in front of people to stop them.
That’s what’s happened with police brutality. When you drive, how do you feel if a cop pulls behind you?
You know the answer to that.
From your perspective, it may be different because you grew up here in Colorado. It may be different maybe you grew up around a lot of white people and then maybe it’s a different perspective.
I’m not afraid of them when they pulled me over immediately.
Some people their reflex is complete fear. Mine is hesitation, deep thought, and concern. I’m a logical thinker. Mine is not fear and not anger, but concern. Regardless you could be pulling me over because my taillight’s out. I don’t know, so now I’m wondering. You put it in. I’ll be honest, this is regardless of where I live, I’m being pulled over at noon in Downtown Denver. I’m probably like, “Whatever.” I’m being pulled over at 2:00 AM between Denver and Colorado Springs.
Your heart starts pumping a little bit.
I’m scared. I’m not going to lie because I don’t even know. I don’t know why.
That’s the perspective. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I wanted to hear your perspective because you’re talking about daylight and nighttime.
It makes a big difference. In the more that things like this happen, the more regardless of who you are, you think about things differently depending on the time of day and on where you are as a black person, which isn’t fair. I’m still Joe. I’m still the same person. Integrity still everything knows the same people but when you don’t know and all I am to that person is a black man. That’s where Black Lives Matter comes from. Black Lives Matter isn’t even about “Don’t kill me.” That’s not what it is. That’s the extreme version and unfortunately, that’s what we’re dealing with. Black Lives Matter is saying that, “Why do the cops get called on me if I sit on the curb for the too long in the wrong neighborhood?” Why?
If a tall volleyball-looking white guy was on the curb for two hours on the phone, nothing. That’s the difference of when we look at the fact that you don’t think my life, my time, my experience, my integrity, and my personal belief about myself. You don’t think that stuff matters as much as it took for me as it does for you or your child. That’s the difference. That’s what we’re fighting for. Why do I have to fight harder for the job? Why do I have to fight harder as an entrepreneur for funding or this thing or justify myself more? If it was because my business sucked, that’s business. If it’s only in many times because I’m a black CEO, I’m too young and I’m too black, that’s what Black Lives Matter encompasses all of that.
How would you describe racism? Does it entail someone that’s aggressive?
I don’t think it entails someone who is aggressive.
Is it someone that doesn’t understand? For instance, if you see a Spanish person, a Mexican, what’s your perception of them? If I see a black man, what’s my perception of them?
Which we all do.
We do that regardless of that’s of human nature. What extent is racism?
To me, racism is you can’t change the fact that your brain is going to do something. One of my favorite sushi chefs here in Denver, he owns a restaurant. Shout-out to Misaki. His name is Jesus. He’s the best sushi chef. If his name is on a list of sushi chefs, is anybody going to think Jesus is the best sushi chef? No, he talks to me about all the time. He’s like, “People don’t even think I am the chef. People think how could a guy, he’s named Jesus?” They don’t know anything about his story or anything. Off of names, clothes, and race, we do this. We think about people. We make a snap judgment.
Racism is when you don’t challenge that within yourself and you make decisions based on that snap judgment that negatively impacts me. You think about, “I thought about that because of Joe because he’s black.” That was crazy. You walked in you push it out of your head and you deal with me like, “You’re not racist. You’re trying to educate yourself. You caught yourself.” The person who when I walk in and it’s like, “He’s black.” Told me out, won’t listen, that’s not unconscious anymore. When you move it to conscious and it starts to drive your decisions. Yeah. That’s where you cross over into racism because you’re doing it based on my race. Ageism, it’s the same thing you’re doing because of my age. You’re too old to do this.
Did I ever tell you my age? Do you remember? I don’t think I told you about my age. I don’t tell people my age.Imagine if you didn’t have to tell someone that you’re black. Think about that perspective.
Sometimes you’re raised that way. It’s funny because when you’re doing the phone interviews for jobs, you’re like, “I was taught early.” That’s where you see people when they’re around their friends they talk a little bit different. They change their vernacular. How they talk, all this other stuff. I had a black guy approached me in Boulder. We had done training and he approached me after it. He said, “I feel like I’m losing myself because I changed the way I talk and the way I dress because I’m trying to stay in my progressive path of Corporate America.” Back to your question of, “You’re taught to try to hide your blackness for as long as you can.” On that phone interview, don’t sound black, whatever that means. I’ve been told many times I don’t sound black but that’s a whole different conversation because it’s what it is. These categories, these boxes, people put you in.
People used to say to me, “Don’t try and act black. Don’t try and sound black.” My closest friends everywhere around me they’re black.
I’m talking like the people who are around me and that’s what I grew up with.
It doesn’t make me a bad person. I recognized oppression at such a young age that I was like, “Damn.” Some were good athletes. In Florida, I’m going to state facts, more African-Americans and Haitians, Jamaicans are at the top when it comes to athletics. I was one of the only white guys accepted into these black groups. I used to feel honored in a way and then it came to a point where I would go back to a lot of my white friends or even Spanish friends. They would say the N-word as a joke. We’re around the same people in a way or whatever. They were trying to do it for themselves and it pissed me off. It started to evolve into something where I recognize that one of the reasons why many black people accepted me into their homes, their parents, and their friends is because I treated them like they were my brother. I didn’t think of anything wrong. When I saw them on the corner, I was like, “What’s up, bro? What’s popping out?” I dapped them up. It does start with kids, but adults need to get a grip and start treating people the same way. If you hear someone talk a certain way, let’s start shifting the narrative that maybe it’s something that is even of more education.
Put in the work to educate yourself and the people around you. It’s one thing to stand up for me when I’m with you. It’s another thing to stand up for me when I didn’t even know that you did. That’s where it comes through genuine. That’s where it comes through that I don’t even have to know what you defended or that you ever defended me, but the people who are those people, you can still feel it when you’re with them. You know that you’re not putting on a front that it’s not like, “You’re cool with me.” It’s action from a personal perspective. You first agree and accept that there are groups that are mistreated. You’re saying oppression exists. Let’s deal with that and then I’m against that. I fight for the people who are oppressed. If you take that simple mindset, then everyone agrees. I rarely post, but I posted something on social media. I said, “When all lives do believe that Black Lives Matter, then trust me, there will be tears and crying of everyone. Finally saying, All Lives Matter.” That’s when we get there is when we believe that. For now, we’re talking about the guy with the broken leg.
People will disbelief.
Jess was telling me about something. It was a scripture thing that someone posted. There’s a scripture if anyone reads that stuff about “The 1 sheep that leaves the 100.” Jesus leaves to go get the one sheep and the other people saying, “What about the 99 over here? Don’t you care about us?” He’s like, “You’re over there in the field, eating, hanging out. I’m going after the one that’s in danger.” If you want to go to the religious area, it’s there. If you want to go to a logical level, it’s there. It makes so much sense. I don’t know why people have to feel like it doesn’t. You said the reflex, it’s hard.
It’s hard to accept it.
It’s hard to be oppressed. It’s hard for everyone. That’s part of what we’re fighting is that finally there’s so much good coming out of it. I was talking to my brother-in-law and he was talking about the good that’s coming out of it. That many races are standing up and coming together for this. The media is going to talk about a lot of the bad stuff and the negative stuff. There’s going to be the vocal people on social media. I know some hits you up. I saw it and they were like, “What are you doing out here?” You can’t please those people, but you’re not talking to those people. We’re not talking to those people. We’re not talking to the person who’s going to nitpick every single thing that we said on this thing and find a problem because they would have found one, no matter what. We’re talking to the people who understand, who are listening and who are trying to come together. There are people of all races, all backgrounds who are doing that. That’s one thing that is happening. They might be a quiet person. They might be the person that doesn’t know what to say but the thing is it starts from a place of truth, authenticity, and love.
It’s a new language being learned to people.
What, truth, authenticity and love talking in that way?
Yeah. It’s a new language. The reason why I said its hard is because it’s a new language. When someone has to learn something, what do most people do? They quit because it’s too hard. Oppression is way more difficult than learning to accept it.
People are walking away because it’s too hard to learn.
It’s too fucking hard to learn it and accept it because once you accept it, the uncomfortability hasn’t even begun. You’re going to walk by 100 black people in your day and it’s going to come up. You’re going to start feeling the pain of what it’s like for them. You’re not going to know exactly what it feels like. We’re going to feel the pain of what on the other side of people have done for years and years. That shit fucking hurts. When I look at a crowd and someone’s pointing out the one black person, this shit fucking hurts as a viewer. Imagine what the fucking guys feel like. How many people are willing to feel that pain? That’s the point of leaders. A lot of leaders take on that pain so that a lot of other people don’t have to feel it as much, but they can still believe in the same vision. They can still be a part of the same vision and grow with it.
It takes courageous people and it’s not everyone’s responsibility to be courageous. Some people are trying to live and survive and that’s where all their energy goes. Some people do have for whatever reason, God-given ability, position, or something where they can be courageous. Honestly, that’s what it takes is people willing to not everybody, but all types of people being willing to step into that place of being courageous. Someone’s going to hate it no matter what. In that courageous place is where we’re going to start to see some impact. If leaders aren’t willing to be courageous, then we’ll never see change. Even if you’re a small leader, whatever it is, however you take that in, you have to do it because not everyone’s going to be able to. Some people have to live and survive.
Do you know the two people that I think have one of the greatest impacts on the community? The Rock and LeBron James.
They have a big following of people who listen to them.
Tiger Woods is big, but he doesn’t have as much of a voice as those guys through what they represent and the more so The Rock. He’s not black. The leader doesn’t have to be the same race. You have to have and be able to take on a lot and be able to speak and for the other people behind them. I feel like The Rock has many things dabbled in, the fitness industry, going out with a massive thing in Atlanta. He has movies, the WWE and football that he was a part of, TV shows and commercials. That’s generational stuff. Imagine if Michael Jordan’s sole purpose outside of basketball was oppression and everything. I’m not saying he didn’t try to do anything, but imagine if it was his whole thing. When Muhammad Ali passed away, everybody felt it.
He wasn’t just a boxer.
Kobe Bryant, everybody felt it. We still feel it. He wasn’t just the basketball player. When you have that much influence where you could shift generations, that’s what LeBron James is. He’s a generational shift and Stephen Curry.
Together with people like that and so much more stepping out into that place of being courageous, things would shift.
There’s a lot of work. It’s every industry.
Shift and change are two different things.
Transformation is also a whole other thing. First, you need to change certain habits. Transformation comes and it encompasses a shift and change. First, you have to shift your mentality, then you need to change the way that you’re perceiving and behaving, then you can transform. You can’t skip the steps.
That’s huge. We’re talking about that with a country. You’re in the fitness space. Think about what you outlined those steps in fitness. Think about someone who was like all of those things that even an individual has to go through to try to get transformation. That’s hard for someone to do individually and something that is physical, visual, you can see and you’re going to have to commit to it for 1 or 2 years.
We’re still behind.
We’re talking about shifting, changing the behavior. It’s a lifetime, but honestly, no one’s looking for perfection. No one’s looking for that. That’s not what it means. We won’t achieve perfection, but people are looking for sustained growth.
Evolution, evolving getting a little bit better every day. I am not saying a little bit but every day, a little bit better with this.
What people are looking for is hope. That’s what people are looking for that it’s possible. Do you know how much stuff starts to happen when people believe that it’s possible? That takes a lot to create hope. You’re a leader, I’m a leader. In times like COVID, everything we had to go through. If your team didn’t have hope that they were going to come out of the other side of it, you wouldn’t have a team. It takes leadership. Hope’s not this thing that pops into everybody’s head. Hope is created by people who step out and create hope.
You can’t create a vision if you don’t even know what the vision is. It’s almost like you’ve seen some of the cops shooting rubber bullets. It may hurt a person but more times than not, it’s not going to kill a person. That’s horrible in itself after even years. I don’t even know why I use that example. It’s there. It’s the same thing with creating this transformation with oppression and racial inequality. Let’s paint the picture that we want so that we can take the right steps to get there because then the team knows and the different departments. Maybe a couple of senators that are like, “I want this. I’m going to make it happen.” A couple of people in the fitness industry, in the wellness space, in this space and tech space if that happens, then you have a movement towards something. When you’re doing things out of impulse and trying to create things. Do you know how many bumps in the road there are when you do it that way?
You’re running in circles more. You’re not going to get anywhere.
That’s why I love peaceful protesting is that they’re trying to come up with a solution peacefully where they can all think as one, “Why are we here? What are we doing? How can we get to here?”
That’s what we need more personally because I’m not a social media person as much. That’s what we need on social media. I feel like social media is a party where everyone’s talking. No one’s listening. It feels to me as a party where everyone’s talking and I’m not saying the difference. I’m not saying posting is talking and not posting is listening. It’s not that easy of a metaphor. What I’m saying is it feels like everyone wants to talk. Imagine if you go to a party and you’re standing there and everyone in the room is talking. How many people are going to leave and be like, “Guess who I met?” No one knows who was there. No one knows what anyone said. No one knows anything because everyone in the room was talking. That’s not how it works.
In order for us to have change and social media is a big part of that, we do need people to figure a new way to use it. We need people to figure out a different way to create what you’re saying because the only way you create a vision is through communicating. You and I, when we’re doing business work and we’re trying to figure out the vision for CreateU or I’m looking at a job, group, or our new stuff interview and how we’re bringing new people into companies. It happens by sitting in the room, listening to an idea, looking at where it goes, mapping it out and challenging it. It comes through collaboration.
It’s separating yourself and giving your own time. That’s your own communication with yourself.
All of it, that’s what it takes to create a vision.
What’s happening in the United States is a relationship. It’s a shitty and abusive relationship, but it’s a relationship. Until we’re able to communicate properly, we will never have anything. It’s like in Israel with the Palestinians and what’s happening in Gaza. I went over there and I could feel it. I could feel the fucking tension. Everyone’s smoking cigarettes. At any point in time, they could be bombed vice-versa. Palestinians are pissed and I got death threats and I got all this stuff. I was able to experience it. Not firsthand but second hand. It’s like second-hand smoking in a way. If you can’t get past the pointing the fingers, you’re never going to get to a resolution together. You’re never going to hold hands. You keep pointing to fingers. This doesn’t interlock. There’s a reason why there’s this interlock going on everywhere on social media with what’s going on the interlock because that’s a connection. That’s communication. This is coming together as one, it’s 50/50 or 100/100.
I like that because 50/50, 1% falls off of either side or we’re not touching it anymore. That’s a relationship too. That’s what it is. Everyone has to go further. Don’t meet me in the middle. If we meet in the middle, that’s not communication. We don’t have that. We don’t have leadership, vision, and clarity. We’re missing many things. The people who are out there, unfortunately, the vocal, some of it is rhetoric. It’s talking and that’s who’s out there, but we have to figure out how to come together.
I’m going to close it here. I want to have you on more often talk about other topics and stuff. How do you want to close it? What do you want to say?
My biggest thing is focused on often what we talked about. There are a lot of white and black people that are like, “I don’t know what to say or if I should say anything or if I should call my black friend, and if I shouldn’t call my black friend.” All these different things. People are trying to figure out how to not step on a landmine. Back to the relationship thing. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where every single thing you did feels like you stepped on a landmine, you know how that feels. You’re never going to get through it. What we have to do is everyone has to be a little patient and you have to approach anyone and everything that you’re going to say from a place of authenticity and love. If you do that, then any real person is not going to come back to you like that. They’re going to understand, and that’s going to start to unlock. Someone will. That’s not who we’re talking to. It’s not who’s going to create change.
That’s what creates the cloudiness. That creates the fog and the confusion. For instance, people that post the black square everywhere on, all of a sudden three people come in like, “You should’ve done it sooner. You’re a bad person. Now, you want to talk about it?”
Someone else comes in and I saw it live of some people I know who are black. I’ve been black my whole life. I’m not posting this. It’s people who want to hate something.
You’re doing it right. Just be you.
Whether it’s because your dog peed on my grass and not yours, or you drive the wrong type of car or people want to hate. That’s what they want to do. What you have to do is do what your heart tells you to do. Make sure that is it. If you do that, that’s the only way we’re going to create change. If people are doing truly heartfelt for the right reason, activities, outreach, a text, a call or a post, and then ignore the cloudiness because the other thing is if it’s truly from your heart, should it be wrong? If it is that wrong and it’s from your heart, check your heart.
I can close off with that one. There are some facts in this.
I appreciate you having me. It’s good stuff we have to talk about it.
This is not even the beginning. I’m excited about transformation, the change, and the shifts. Even the fact that we’re interacting in this way, it’s cool. It’s cool that we’ve never talked about any of this type of stuff. All of a sudden, boom, you’re hit with an emotional wave immediately. I’m like, “Fuck, damn. I forgot about this for so long.” It’s time that America doesn’t forget about these things and globally. It starts in the United States. A lot of things start in the United States that are awesome and we can spread a good message. Is there anything else you want to say?
You can find me on Instagram, @JoeThurman84. I’m mainly on LinkedIn. I don’t post anything. You could find me, Joe Thurman, Colorado. You google me, you’ll find ways to reach me. I run my company. We do the thing we’ve been here. That’s how you can find me.
What’s your business? What exactly do you do?
We help companies hire and build the right people, not a staffing company at all. We focus on building inclusive environments. We’ve been doing this work before this even happened, but this behavioral change, this putting this in lights has made people reach out to us more. We focus on the fact that in business, “The humans matter.” I’m not using that in the way of what we’re talking about but jobs are a cornerstone of our economy. People having work and every single person, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or anything, having the opportunity to have work that matters to them and that they find purpose in what you and I have conversations about all the time, that creates a life that people can truly live and thrive. That’s what our business focuses on. We go into companies and help them put the right cultures in place, put things in place, change, mindsets and behavior so that they can build great companies with great people. That’s what we do.
Look up Joe Thurman on Google.
I’m on LinkedIn, Google and Instagram. That’s the only thing I have.
Do you have a website?
JobberGroup.com. That’s how you’ll find me. We’re launching some new, cool stuff. Our platform’s coming out, I know we’re not even talking about that, but that’s where I will be. We’re shifting over.
What’s this platform that you do?
It’s Interview IA. It’s a technology using AI and is fighting against bias. I’m wearing a shirt that says, “Breaking The Bias.” We do a lot of training on that. Technology is helping us to remove those barriers when you walk into that interview and someone’s like, “I’ve never met a black CEO. I don’t know if he could be our COO or whatever.” It removes those barriers and forces companies to have a structure and a process that they follow. That gives me a shot on my merit. Not on anything else. Our technology is focused on doing that. It’s where we’re going. It’s the future and now with remote hiring, we have a real opportunity to create that change. We’re all in on that. That’s where we’re going.
People can get in contact with you if they need to?
They’ll find me, Joe Thurman, Colorado. You can reach me.
Honestly, Joe knows his stuff. I’ve done it for a little bit of time. He shows up he’s grinding his ass off. We eat some tacos once in a while, maybe Margarita. Thanks for joining me. Thanks for holding up. Thanks for getting vulnerable. The tagline of CreateU is ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life.
I always loved that too, Brendan.
I appreciate that. We strive for equality and bringing the best out of people. You can find us on all audio platforms if you’re listening on Spotify or iTunes, whatever. That’s it. See you next time. Peace.
People come and go. That’s just the simple truth of it. As you go through life, there will be friends that come in and out of it. On today’s show, Brendan Meyers talks about the reality of having to move on when the people around you don’t believe you or support your vision. Are there friends who are pointing fingers at you or teasing you or don’t want to deal with you? Maybe it’s time for you to move on and find new peeps to hang with to help you bring your vision to life. Think about how powerful you are and how much you can accomplish without these people holding you down.
I have a lot of big things that are happening. I’ll tell you that much. Body Evolution is launching here. Body Evolution is a membership, $3 per month that you get daily different workouts, daily gym workouts, daily bodyweight workouts, daily cardio workouts, they’re all separate. You also get three AB workouts per week and daily custom meal plans by registered dieticians. They also have a cool muscle performance section where we have joint-specific rehab, joint-specific prehab warmups, and also educational videos to teach you about the human body and all that stuff, performance-wise, most muscle functionality.
I’m super excited about it because I feel like the world has been struggling for so long. It’s like a fast track. I was wanting to do something cool for peeps. If you want to sign up for that, go ahead and go to GoBodyEvo.com. What I want to talk about in this episode is something that’s been coming up for me time and time again and that’s loneliness. It’s not so much about the loneliness of not having specific friends around me. It’s nothing specific. It’s more so, “I’m building something big. I know I have to be lonely sometimes. I have to accept that I can’t go out. I can’t go drinking with these people. I can’t sacrifice this or that or surrender here because what my business, my brand, or my vision entails is something way bigger than myself.”
Sometimes this is hard for other people to understand. Even for me to understand because when you’re lonely, you start thinking about all these extra things, you’re like, “I wish I had this,” or “I wish I could do this.” You get a little emotional. The stress adds up and it adds up. From my point of view, the way I perceive everything that goes on as you are developing something that you’re truly believing in is it’s the reality of it. It takes a lot and people will not understand you, but the right people will support you. Those are the ones that you want to keep around you.
The saying five people who you surround yourself with that’s how you end up acting or that’s who you become. That’s absolutely true. At the same time, even if it’s one person, even if it’s two people that truly understand you, there are going to be so many friends that come in and out of your life. You’re going to go through relationships and hardships. I’m telling you that most will not understand and they will question it. While one friend wants to hang out on the weekends and not do any work, there’s another side of those friends that don’t want to go and do fun stuff always every weekend. They want to relax. You have the third style of friends and those are the people, the 1, 2, 3, 4 friends that are grinding their asses off.
It’s not the weekend, it’s another day. Another day, another dollar, as I said. I have a very close friend named Roy. He owns a couple of different businesses. Raw Fitness is a gym here at Lafayette, Colorado. We’ve been training a lot together and we were talking about all this stuff. It doesn’t feel like the days are the same. It’s turning it over 24/7. He said, “That’s the name of the game.” We want to travel. We want to do a lot of fun and cool things. We want to spend money and do this and that.
The investment is not only the time, but it is the money as well into the future vision. As you’re reading this, maybe you’re one of those people or maybe you want to go and you want to become a doctor. That takes so much to get there. You’ve got to sacrifice something. I don’t even like saying the word sacrifice so much. Let’s call it to surrender, but come to the reality of it and express how you feel to the people around you and explain to them this is what it takes. If they don’t believe it, they don’t support you, they keep on pointing fingers at you, poking you, teasing you or they don’t want to deal with you. It’s time for you to move on. It’s time for you to find new peeps to hang with.
It’s like eating healthy as a bodybuilder. If you look at a bodybuilder, they’re so strict, the cardio, the food, everything. I’m a part of that crew as well in a certain way. The discipline aligns with the vision. It’s like, “This is the reality of my life and this is what I’ve got to do.” It’s the same with business. It’s the same with certain types of relationships even. Things go back and forth consistently in our lives and at the end of the day, the only thing that we can count on is how we show up our discipline, our consistency. I want to send some acknowledgment to you. If you’re reading this, think about how powerful you are and how much you can accomplish. It’s much more than you could ever imagine. Keep pushing. You might lose a lot of people. A lot of people will come in and out again because they don’t understand it.
They’re on that same wavelength as you, but they don’t have that same motivation. It’s okay. I’ve worked with so many people over the years. At the end of the day, I know that the majority of them will not be with me in five years down the line. Do I take it any less with the work that I put into them or the relationships? Absolutely not. I give them everything I’ve got. I listen to them. I speak for them. I stick up for them. I do all this stuff because I see the potential in them. I always remind myself, “Brendan, don’t get disappointed.” Disappointment is a choice at the end of the day. If you ever read The Four Agreements, it’s an assumption. You create this assumption in your life, in a relationship or something that you’re doing.
At the end of the day, no matter what, whatever you assumed is not going to be 100% the same. You may be subconsciously disappointed in a small way or it could be something significant. You’re like, “I trusted this person to all these different things and I assume this, and I assumed that. It didn’t happen.” You’re shooting for your agenda. This is a reminder to keep pushing. Nobody can stop you at the end of the day. The only person that can is you. That’s what CreateU is all about, to ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life.
Hopefully, this message found you well and it ignited something inside of you. Next time you’re going for a ride and you pick someone up, ask them a couple of questions, see how they feel about your path and what you want to accomplish, and all the things that you want to do. If they respond to you in a negative way or they have a lot of doubts or they’re not always there for you and you’re going to do something fun, remember at the end of the day, what type of person that is to you. There’s someone that you can have fun with.
They’re not going to be with you in the trenches when you’re grinding your ass off, trying to make that business be something that you’ve been wanting your whole life. They’re not to be in the trenches of you pursuing that professional career. They’re not going to be in the trenches of you learning a new language and trying to learn how to cook and trying to learn how to fight or be a boxer or MMA. They’re going to be at the point in that area when you’re celebrating. Keep that in mind. I appreciate you always. I don’t even know who you are. If you’re reading this, maybe I do know you.
It doesn’t matter because you’re here. This show is all about growth and to me that makes me understand a little bit more about the person you are, the person you want to be. Thanks for reading. I’m glad I could come on here. I hope the quarantine is treating you in a positive way. Remember, you are your thoughts. Your words is your world. Your actions are your world. Remember that everything, every step, everywhere you look, the way you speak, the way you move, it’s all a reflection of how you feel and where you’re going.
Follow me on Instagram @TheBMeyers. I’m excited for you to get started with Body Evolution and try that out. We launched our new Mood product. It’s a stress product. It’s all about calm, clarity, and focus. I love it. I use it for my stress. A lot of things are going on in my life. I work on meditation. I work on rehabilitation for my injuries. I also work on prehab. It was pre-habilitation before strategic to get my body to align structurally and all that stuff. I do like taking supplements, like the Greens and the Mood product to give me that extra boost. Check that out at CreateUNutrition.com. Thanks for reading. You can also check us out at Spotify and iTunes. I’ll see you next time. Peace.
The way people have been living life has changed since circumstances around the world shifted, but that shouldn’t stop you from living life anyway. Whether it’s fitness or relationships, life still goes on, and you still have the right to live it. Over a couple of beers, Brendan Myers and Dr. Michael DellaCorte, a chiropractor with Health Edge Family Spinal Care, have honest conversations about how they’ve been living life. If you’ve been craving the feeling of a truthful discussion covering a variety of relatable subjects, Brendan and Michael’s conversation is definitely for you.
Welcome to the CreateU Experience. Subscribe if you haven’t already. We’re in Denver, Colorado. You took a test for ART Certification.
I was in Colorado Springs. It was wonderful.
Mike, what’s going on in your life? How’s this quarantine been for you?
Everything’s going well and I’m very thankful for it. Chiropractic is considered an essential business. I’ve still been practicing. I cut my days in the office down from Monday through Friday to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday just to limit foot traffic because it’s Eileen and Armen in the office too. We try to stagger our days where there are only two providers in the office at a given time to try and limit foot traffic. It’s been going well. I’m thankful for that and I’m looking forward to getting back in Monday through Friday. You have to make value of your time. You have to use your time wisely. When it used to be seeing patients Monday through Friday, now on Mondays I’ll get an extra exercise session in, I’ll review material, whether it’s my ART.
You’re turning them into growth days?
Friday, I’ll do the same thing. You get an extra session in with exercise. I’ll train in my garage.
Do you want to know my schedule?
What is your routine? How is it different compared to normal?
I’ve been struggling with getting focused and waking up at the early times. I’m not going anywhere.
What time have you been getting up?
I’d be getting up anywhere between 7:00 and 8:00. That’s not me. I’m going to sleep super late.
How long before do you look at your phone?
The first thing I do is I look at my phone. We’re going through a bunch of launches and whenever I go through launches, it’s not good.
It’s different for me because I like the first 30 minutes to be technology-free, but it’s different because my business is in-person. I have set times where I check my email. I have set times where I check my messages. That’s why I like to get up early.
What time do you wake up?
At 4:00 AM.
Do you still get up at 4:00 AM?
Yes, I love it.
I’ve been going to sleep super late because I’m editing. I have a ton of launches. It’s exhausting. I do go into the sauna. What’s been affecting me is bulking.
Do you get tired of it or do you like it?
I hate it. I’ve been doing it for twelve weeks. I’m eating 4,700 calories a day. It’s absolutely exhausting. Yes, I’m complaining about it.
I was watching a YouTube video and somebody was asking the world’s strongest man, Hafthor Bjornsson, what’s the challenge about being the world’s strongest man? He said, “It’s the constant eating. You’re out of breath all the time.”
He wants me to keep on building. I’m inflamed to be honest. I wake up, I even talked to Jeremy about it. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m getting acne. I could only imagine what people are taking like TRT and stuff is like. I would not want to step into that room especially bulking.
That’s the thing is I don’t know. I’m new to this whole bodybuilding.
Maybe a cut will do you well and then you say, “I like this, but I want to be a little bigger.” That will fuel your vision. “I know the bulking is challenging, but I can see the end result.”
I’ve been PRN on some stuff. I’m pretty good sized. I’m filling out in many areas. What about you? You’re cutting, right?
Yes. My friend, Meranda Mundy, is doing my macros for me. Check her out. She’s awesome.
Your fats are super high.
It’s the first time it’s ever been like that and I love it.
It’s super unique.
Yes, and I feel great.
Express it like what’s different?
It hit me when it was a Tuesday. I had been treating from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. All the time I’m very high energy because I love what I do. If you could see let’s say 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM, I’m going. Once I’m done, I’m shut down completely. I could fall asleep. Now afterwards, putting in everything I have into my work and then when I get home and I’m still energized and ready to have a nice dinner with the queen, great conversation. Usually, it would have been grab something healthy on the way home, eat it while watching a show that we both love.
You feel like you have better energy. What’s your fats?
I can’t disclose that information. They’re like 168.
Mine are at 140, but I’m eating almost 600 carbs and 270 protein. We’re drinking beer so I don’t know if that’s coming any time soon. I’m not falling apart. I want to make sure everyone’s very clear. This is just me. I’m thriving. I do want a girlfriend. I want to experience life with a woman. You’ve got the queen and she’s amazing. Experiencing life with a woman. Someone that you care for. You want to celebrate the wins on both sides. You want to support. You want to see them grow. There’s nothing like love. When you hug your woman, your girl, right in that crease and you hold them, all of your stress goes away. That’s how I feel. You hug a woman and the girl that you love. It’s like stress-free because you know that you’re safe with them type of thing. That’s hard to come by.
The thing I like even more is she pushes me all the time. Let’s say each time we’d get pizza, I would grow, whether it was in business mindset or something, I would gain some value from it. We are having a great time.
Are you calling me your girl?
No, but I’m tying the two together. I’m not calling you a woman but imagine that all the time. I’ve got an advantage. I’ve got somebody that’s helping me grow all the time.
Always checking on you, you can trust them that they’re not going to judge you a certain way. I feel you.
She graduated from chiropractic school a couple of years before I did. She’s been a mentor to me as well. You have to find someone like that.
The unique thing about myself is I’m a go-getter and I want so much in my life. I don’t stand for anything less than what I believe in or where I want to go. The one thing that I’ve come across with my relationship struggle is someone on that same wavelength with myself that’s willing to do whatever it takes.
There is someone out there though like that.
I was going to get something tatted behind my ear, the word patience. The number one word that keeps on smacking me in the face.
Why behind your ear?
It’s a constant reminder. It’s like, “My ear is there. To me, patience is embodied when you listen.” I’ll probably get that tat sooner than later. It’s hard. When you’ve experienced love, you’ve also experienced heartbreak. I’m not going to say heartbreak. It’s more like a wound that healed. It makes you stronger. You seek that and the old brain would be like find someone to hang out with. Date a little bit or date somebody for a month and then break up. I don’t want any of that. What I want is someone long-term and it’s like that. You have a good point. It will soon come after.
I’m doubtful in quarantine especially. What are you going to do? You’re trying to take a break from technology and Bumble, Tinder and Hinge only works on the phone.
At least I can be honest about my own relationship struggles. The one area that I struggle with most is with women like relationships.
It’s getting into them or making the move?
It’s putting myself in that uncomfortable position even though I’m so used to being uncomfortable when it comes to this. All these other areas, I’m great. When I’m out and about, I’m great. I’m super confident I’ll talk to any woman. There’s this 1% of time when I see a woman, you feel the energy immediately. It doesn’t matter how confident I am, I can’t say a single thing.
Think of what Tony Robbins teaches. One of the seven human needs is certainty. When we step into where there’s any uncertainty, it’s murky water.
I like murky waters sometimes, but not too often. I love being uncomfortable. That’s the thing. Relationships and everything, they’re all good. I’m not stressing crazy about it. It’s more so quarantine, social distancing, going to restaurants, cafes and coffee shops. It’s even the simple thing. It’s like, “I’m going to go into Starbucks and I’m going to get coffee.” I’m going to go, “How do we get these beers? We had to wipe them down and get to do all this stuff.” It’s exhausting. We’re meant to be communicated. We’re meant to be together. We’re meant to explore things.
What are you going to do once the quarantine is over? Are you going to start going out? What do you think? Maybe you’ll meet a nice lady at the gym?
I’m trying to learn Spanish. I’m thinking about going to Colombia or go to Spain.
What prompted that?
A friend of mine recommended that I go on Tinder in Colombia or wherever I want to go and start chatting with different women that are from that country. Talk to a bunch of these ladies in Spanish. You’re setting your location and you get to experience a whole different way of life. These ladies experienced something. I take things to the next level on Tinder.
Which one do you like the best?
This is the way I am. I get on Tinder, match with however many women, say hello. I ended up deleting my Tinder in 24 hours. I don’t know why. I feel ashamed about having Tinder. I want to meet a woman in person. How has this turned into my dating life?
When you’re walking somewhere and you’re like, “I’m Brendan,” I’m a normal guy coming to the restaurant. I’m going to order some food. When you hear it from outside perspective, it’s like, “This is why people think I’m a little bit out there.”
I don’t have the greatest answer for that. If I was speaking to someone else and he said, “What’s Brendan like?” It’s like a bar talk, which is crazy.
Is it a good crazy like Joe Rogan crazy?
Joe Rogan is the man. You’re the man too.
Joe Rogan is the man and I’m the crazy.
You’re the man too.
That’s more binary what you just gave me. You’re always smashing the game with your college shirts.
Do you want to make me a nice CreateU?
Do you want one? Are you sure?
What do you guys think about Michael DellaCorte? Look him up on Instagram.
Give me a shout out if you have any questions. I don’t have Tinder. I don’t need any of those. I have the queen.
Look at my screaming picture. I’m so blessed.
That’s an aggressive picture.
Do you think so? It’s just me screaming a couple of veins. Someone painted it for me.
Isn’t that on your Body Evo site?
Have you been to my Body Evo site?
Yes. You showed it to me right as you were about to buy the McLaren 600LT and go to New York.
I’ve had some quite many financial breakdowns.
That can fuel it. You said, “I’m going to go to New York.” I said, “No, you won’t.” You said, “Yes, I am.”
I’m in Philadelphia on the same day.
That’s right, you went. You were also looking at a McLaren 600LT. The color was questionable, the Model Two. I would go with the 720S.
I was going for the 520.
You weren’t looking at the 600 LT?
No, I’m better than that. Do you remember when I was test driving the McLaren and the Porsche? You don’t remember? That’s right. I didn’t tell anybody, I forgot. I almost bought it when I was there.
Did you take the GT2 RS for a spin? I love that car.
I didn’t. I went to look at the GT3 and then he was like, “We also have a GT2 RS. I was like, “You need to stop playing with me because I should not buy this right now.”
You can get a GT2 RS MR, which I believe Motley racing. They put a completely different package on it. That car, I’ve watched YouTube videos on it because I would love to own one one day. Everything from the emblem on the front. They did a sticker as opposed to, I’m not sure what they would use, metal maybe. If you look on the interior, the door handles are rope. They did that to save weight.
Isn’t it crazy how they look at the smallest things, but it makes a difference? It’s so relatable, just like in life. Even like bodybuilding, people don’t understand why.
The smallest things add up huge results.
Did you know I didn’t have alcohol for six months the last time when I prepped?
Did you make a conscious choice to not or did you go a couple of weeks without it and then say, “I’m going to keep this going?”
I was like, “I’m not going to drink any alcohol for six months.”
What was the last drink you had before you stopped? What was the first one you broke it with? What were you doing?
I was dancing on the dance floor. I was in Vegas on my birthday less than three weeks out so I was dead. I couldn’t drink. I felt like such a nerd. You were there. The 48-hour wonder, Mr. Michael DellaCorte. Talk about staying up, he’s not sleeping if he goes to Vegas ever.
We were there for the Mr. Olympia competition. It was a good time.
Eileen didn’t like the good time, does she or she didn’t care?
She’s the best.
This man, if he’s out vacation or maybe he’s working, will carry around a half gallon of coffee. I don’t even get it. I’m over here carrying a gallon of water. Everyone’s celebrating everything. People are like playing music. I’m like, “Shut up. All of you are too loud.” They’re like, “Brendan, the music isn’t even on.” “You guys are still too loud.”
That was a great example of you have to do what you have to do. You were prepping for a show. We were all there, not prepping for a show. You were still running your business. You had your team with you and say, “Before we do this, we have to get this and this done.” You had a plan.
Everybody left that and they were like, “I never want to go on vacation with Brendan.”
We drove. It was great. I drove in the car with Este and Sahara. It’s a great time.
Taylor is with us too. We made one stop and he was flying his drone around.
I’m going to have my own little drone one day fly on top of it.
We met when you crashed one. Maybe you’ll meet your lady when you crash your next one.
Do you see the relationship issues with Brendan Meyers?
I can see it now. You crash it and say, “Excuse me, Miss. I’m sorry.” She says, “Are you Brendan Meyers?” You go, “Yes, I am.” “I love your greens. Your greens are so tasty. Your green greens are fantastic.” I like the greens. I have them every day. I love them. I have some in my suitcase.
Mood had launched. You’ve got to have everything. You need everything. You’ve been gypped from the fitness industry for so long. We’re launching Body Evolution. It’s a $3 membership. You’re a part of this. You’re coming in. You want a couple of cool things, talking about rehab and rehab. We’re teaching people daily workouts like gym, body weight, cardio workouts, three ab workouts. If you want to check it out, Body Evolution or GoBodyEvo.com.
Thanks for having me on.
Thanks for tuning in, everyone. It’s great talking to you all. CreateU Experience. Mood product has officially launched. I love this product. I take it every single morning and night. You take two a day and it’s good for stress and cortisol levels, all of that. Jeremy’s been taken it as well and sleeping better. It helps different people in different ways. For me, it makes me a little bit more positive. It helps you with that. I have a couple of our videographers that are taking it as well from CreateU and we absolutely love it. Also, Body Evolution is coming soon. That will be at GoBodyEvo.com whenever it’s live. There’s a lot of cool stuff happening.
We’re in the process of searching for certain things. I can’t say too much until a couple of videos go live. You will be one of the first to know about it. We’re looking at some spaces. Those are some updates. Maybe you can subscribe. We’re all over all the audio platforms and remember YouTube is also there for my personal stuff and @CreateU. You can check out the media team. They do incredible work, videography, photography, all of it. Our influencers are amazing and our products are high quality, low price so definitely check them out, CreateUNutrition.com. Anything else you want to say, Mike?
Thank you for having me on. If I can be of help or service to anybody, shoot me a message on Instagram and if you have a more long-form question. My email is on my Instagram and it’s also MDellaCorte@Gmail.com. My Instagram is @Dr.Michael.DellaCorte.
Go and check him out. He’s more than generous. He’s an incredible blessing in my life. Thanks for tuning in for the CreateU Experience. I’ll see you next time. Peace.
Dr. Michael DellaCorte was born in Shelton, CT, and moved to California to attend Southern California University of Health Sciences, where he received his Doctorate of Chiropractic degree. Before moving to California, Dr. DellaCorte received his bachelor’s degree in biological sciences from the University of Rhode Island.
He has a true passion for helping others get out of pain, and get back to what they love to do. He is a certified Active Release Techniques provider for the entire body, and specializes in movement therapy.
Dr. DellaCorte is also a certified personal trainer, and wanted to be able to do even more for the wonderful people he was fortunate to train. He has trained, and still does train elite athletes, weekend warriors, and people of all ages. The desire to be able to do even more for his clients was the driving force behind pursuing becoming a Chiropractor.
When clients would come in with pain, Dr. DellaCorte wanted to be able to not only help them achieve their fitness goals, but also to help them become pain free., and get back to what they love to do. Everything is aimed at enhancing performance in life as a whole, whether it is playing with their kids free of pain, coaching sports, getting back on the field, and much more. Each patient is treated with a specific course of care, and no two treatments are the same. Extensive studies of human biomechanics, anatomy, and much more both in and out of school are what enabled this dream to become a reality.
Dr. DellaCorte has a passion for ice hockey, and baseball. He played baseball from a very young age and in college as well. He also played ice hockey from 10 years of age, up through high school. His love for sports and movement have always been a large driving force towards becoming a Chiropractor.
Dr. DellaCorte has been fortunate to have many mentors around the world that he has learned from who have developed him into the clinician that he is. In addition to his love of serving others, Dr. DellaCorte also has a love for snowboarding, reading, exercising, music, traveling, volunteering, and spending time with his wonderful family.