Episode 07: My Opinion On Having Sex (Shocking)

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Episode 07: My Opinion On Having Sex (Shocking)

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Sex is admittedly not as taboo as it was before. People have come to openly speak about it and express it the way they want to. Brendan gives his own take on this topic as he expresses his own opinions about having sex. While people easily throw that word around, Brendan still sees the beauty of having sex that is intimate, caring, incredible, and loving. On the flip side, he also tackles how sex can sometimes be impersonal and distant for others. He uncovers both sides to this word and leaves it to us to decide how we understand it.

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My Opinion On Having Sex (Shocking)

Intimacy, Pain, Lust, Depression – You Decide

I hope you’re having a fabulous day. I don’t know if you’re reading this on a Friday or a Tuesday. Whatever day it is, know that it’s Quicktime Fridays here on this podcast. Every single Friday, I dive into a topic. If you write me a review on iTunes, I would love to see your reviews on there. Five stars if possible, if that’s what it gives you. If you give one star, it’s great. If that’s how you feel, 100% acknowledged and I respect that. On iTunes only, I would appreciate that review. Quicktime Fridays allow me to express my opinion on subjects and tap into the knowledge that I’ve gained over the years, experiences with businesses, relationships, and understanding people, the psychology of people. We don’t do anything on YouTube on Fridays, but we do it on Tuesday. I have blogs and I have content that’s going up on YouTube but, every Tuesday, we have actual experience. If you’re not new here, then you know we always create an experience before the actual podcast. We’re across all audio platforms. It’s great to get to know that person before the actual podcast itself for those experiences. Make sure you go check those out on YouTube and subscribe there.

What I want to talk about, and you might be very surprised that I’m even going to discuss this, but it is sex. My mom was probably like, “Brendan’s doing it again. He’s going against the code.” My mom is funny. She doesn’t like when I curse and when I talk about sex. The truth is, we live in a society where there are sex, money and everything. There are even drugs. There’s murder. On the opposite side, there’s a lot of adventure. There’s a lot of nature. There are good and bad things that happen all around. If I stuffed some of my opinions down because maybe my mom is going to be offended, someone’s going to be offended, or people around me are going to be offended, then I’m not being authentic and being vulnerable with you. That’s a lesson that you can take into your life. Go be you.

If someone is telling you not to do something, if it is going to benefit you and you know what’s going to actually benefit you, I’m not talking about drugs, I’m not talking about all this bullshit, I’m talking about the good stuff, then do it and don’t hold back. If you’re going to move to a different country, do it. You live once. What I want to talk about is sex. This is my opinion on sex. Maybe you have a sex life, maybe you’re a Christian, or you’re religious and there’s no sex until marriage. I’m still going to talk about it. I was abstinent until I was 21 years old. A lot of people do not know that I was abstinent until 21 years old. I don’t know if I can say I was abstinent at that point because I had sex.

The way I grew up, my mom was a Christian. I’m a believer myself. I thought that was the way. I don’t want to be with a woman. I don’t want to be with anybody until I’m ready, until marriage, until it says in the Bible, “That’s cool.” I’m going to be honest. It came from an insecurity of mine. I didn’t know if women liked me. I didn’t know if a woman would want to be intimate with me on that level. Time and time again, all I would do is reject myself. It wasn’t somebody else that was rejecting me. It was just me. My perspective on sex was founded upon that but also the respect for women. Women don’t get the respect that they deserve, day in and day out. Men are drooling over women everywhere on social media. You walk by someone on the street. It’s a beautiful woman. What do many guys do? They look at their ass. They look at their boobs or whatever the deal is. I take this stuff seriously. Respect women the way you would want to be respected. That’s the truth. If you know someone in your life and they’re selling out on themselves and you see them not respecting women, stand up for all the women around there. If you’re a woman and you’re not respecting men, respect men. It goes both ways. This is where a lot of my sex comes into play.

Have I had a one-night stand? I have. Am I proud of it? Not really. Do I hate myself for it? Not really because it was an experience. With my intimacy in my life, I’m getting vulnerable on this podcast, but it’s good for you to hear this. I won’t just have sex with a woman. I remember back in the college days, we’d be sitting in the dorm rooms and my boys would be hanging around me. They’d be like, “Bro, I got 42 under my belt.” My other homie would be like, “I got 32.” My other boy would be like, “You guys got nothing. I got 50.” I’m over here like, “Bro, I got fucking one.” I had sex for the first time. I would give in in the peer pressure of it. I would agree with them, even though I would never talk about my sex life. During those times, I didn’t even have sex. I was so attracted to somebody. I had many opportunities to do it. I wouldn’t. A lot of it came down to the insecurity with my own body, with my own energy, my own masculine. I have a lot of feminine energy. I was in that energy space for the longest time. If you guys don’t know what masculine and feminine energy is, we all have both. It all depends on your relationship. There’s always a masculine side. There’s always a feminine side. It doesn’t just mean male and female. That’s not what this energy stuff means. It taps into a lot of different things. Check that out on Google. I would type it in to learn a little bit more about it.

I was so afraid. I was so fearful. It created these wounds in my life about getting intimate with somebody. When they were talking about all this stuff, I taught myself how to be like, “That’s dope. You should go fuck that chick.” I was selling out on myself. I was selling out on other women. I look back on it and I’m like, “That’s pathetic, Brendan.” That type of shit is disrespectful to not only women but also to yourself. When I think about sex, I think about something that’s intimate, caring, incredible and loving. Me having sex with a woman, have I done it? Absolutely. Do I wish that I had in the past? I don’t have regrets about this, but I would rather be with a woman that I’m either in love with or I like a lot, and I see a future with, rather than someone that I’m going to be with for six months banging on the side. It’s not right to me. It’s not right to my own faith. I don’t believe in that.

Respect women the way you would want to be respected. Click To Tweet

Sometimes we’ve got to take a step back and look at our own control, our own disciplines. Are we having sex because we can’t control ourselves? Are we having sex because we seek this type of stuff when we’re stressed? Are we having sex to get our numbers up? Are we having sex because we feel lonely? Are we having sex because we can’t deal with our emotions? There are many things that come into sex. This is my opinion on it. I believe sex is an intimate thing. You can be intimate even without sex, by the way. I also believe in that as well. Do I have sex with somebody on the first time seeing them? I don’t believe in that so much. Do I believe that yet it could happen, and you could fall in love with a woman right there and then? Yes.

I did that with one of my exes. We’ve been talking for a few weeks before that, via FaceTime and stuff. That happened with one of my exes. It was the best feeling in the world. I felt so connected with this woman. I knew that it was going to be long-term. I was like, “This is amazing. I want to do it.” The way we perceive these things are a representation of our lives and where we’re going in our lives. If you’re stressed and you find a bunch of calmness and stillness in being intimate with a lot of different women or a lot of different men, it might be something to look at. It might not be a problem or it could actually be a problem. There is such thing as sex addiction. There are specific things that go off in your body when you do have sexual intercourse. It’s something to look at.

Long story short, my perspective on sex is it’s intimate. It’s love. It is something that should last a long time. It should mean a lot. It’s not just a territory. It’s not just a property. You’re not leaving something there and then moving on with your life. You shouldn’t, at least. These are all opinions. What I believe is you should look at that as the final step, one of the final steps in your intimacy with another person in building your relationship. It is important for a relationship, but I don’t think it’s the end all. I would stay with a woman if she said that I don’t want to have sex with you for a long time. If it’s, “I don’t want to have sex until marriage,” I would continue that. Would it be tough? Yeah. At the same time, do I have the discipline? Do I have the love? Is my purpose with this woman right? Is it aligned with my vision? If I can’t control myself and not have sex with this woman for five years until we get married, at three years until we get married, what does that represent for myself? What other things in my life can’t I live without?

CUE 7 | Having Sex
Having Sex: Build a relationship and stop trying to take tallies. Build love and stop trying to just release some energy that you have.

 

It’s all about self-control. It’s all about how you perceive the person in front of you and what that means. I see it time and time again, people giving their body to other people. It’s easy. It’s like, “Here, have your way with it. Have fun with it.” I don’t believe in that. You’re worth so much more than that. It’s like asking for support. I talk about this pretty often. If you ask for support, imagine what you receive. You receive an answer, which gives you some clarity on what you were looking for with that question. Opposed to if you don’t ask the question, you don’t get that clarity. You don’t understand. Sex is the same thing. If you do it easily and you don’t allow someone to get to know you and find out what your passions are and everything, then you’re almost like a piece of meat. It’s almost like, “Here, take a bite.” You don’t get your answers about yourself. You don’t get your answers about the relationship and what it truly means to the other person.

This is society. The fact that matters is people are having sex young. I don’t agree with it. I’d rather they not, but that’s the facts. Social media is a big influence. Also, the people around us are a big influence. Society is a big influence. TV is a big influence, the movies. Everything is an influence, even the songs nowadays. It’s unfortunate. We deal with the card that we are handed. That’s what we deal with. That’s what we work with. My suggestion is if you are a teenager and if you know a teenager, it’s as simple as this, who are you? Do you know who you are? Do you know where you’re going in your life? Does that person that you are going to have intercourse with serve you, your vision and what you’re creating? Are the risks that come along with that worth it? Don’t think of it from a horny little state. Don’t think of it from the “I’m turned on” state. Look at it from a long perspective. I did the same exact thing. I will go out and dance and women will want to take me home, “When will we do this?” I do not do that. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world.

I’m going to go back to your place. Do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to talk to you. I’m going to listen to you. I want to hear about your story because I see more in you than just a piece of meat and having sex with you. There have been many times, again, I’m going to be very vulnerable with this. Girls will hit me up. We’ll schedule something to hang out. We know what’s going to happen when we hang out. I’ll call them before I even go over. I’m like, “I don’t want to do that. That doesn’t serve me in my life. It doesn’t serve you in your life and what you’re trying to create. I know that you want to be intimate with somebody. You want someone to care about you. You want someone to cuddle you. You want someone to work with you and be independent beside you. This isn’t right.” Almost every single time, I don’t know when a woman has ever declined my way of thinking on that. They enjoy that. They love it. They’re like, “You’re so right. I can’t believe what I was trying to do. Would you rather go to dinner?” It builds relationships.

Sex is earned and not just given. Click To Tweet

Build a relationship and stop trying to take tallies. Build love and stop trying to release some energy that you have. Start building everything that you’ve ever wanted to, and stop making a joke out of it. You might actually be reading this and you’re like, “Brendan, you’re so serious. Why are you so serious?” It’s because the world is fucked up. Society is fucked. That’s why I’m serious when it comes to someone else’s life. I don’t look at sex as a joke. It’s as simple as that. If you don’t want me in your life because of that, it’s completely fine. I don’t look at it as a joke. I look at it as something serious, something that is earned and not just given. It’s something that is the most intimate of all of intimacy. If you don’t agree with me, that’s completely fine. The great news is we can both disagree and still be friends. We can both disagree in many different aspects, still move forward in our lives and accomplish everything that we’ve ever wanted. I will always support you. That’s a fact.

I support people even if they’re a different religion than me, even if they’re gay, even if they’re a different race, even if they’re a part of a gang, or even if they don’t make a lot of money. It doesn’t matter. I will always support the other person that’s in front of me because that’s a reflection of me. Everyone around me is a reflection of me. If I’m going to have sex with every single person around me, every woman that I see a seven, a ten, a fifteen, whatever the fuck you rate somebody, then I am disrespecting myself. I am my own piece of meat. I’m not cooked. I could have Salmonella. That makes no sense. That’s funny. That’s my opinion on sex. Respect the other person. I will never just have sex with somebody.

I want to build something with someone. Everyone does this. I’ve done this before. I’ve hit up girls and I’m like, “Let’s chill,” but it never ends up happening. There’s always something that comes up that reminds me, “Brendan, chill the fuck out. What are you doing? This is not you. Back up, Brendan.” It’s happened in the past. That’s something to think about. Your perspective on sex, I would love to hear it. Send me a DM on Instagram, or send me a message or a comment on YouTube. Even cooler, give me a review on iTunes and let me know what your thoughts were about this podcast. This would mean a lot to me, to read your comments and read your opinion on it. That’s what I have for Quicktime Fridays.

Respect the other person in front of you. Don’t treat them like meat. Don’t use it as your outlet or your “gateway drug.” Use it as something inspirational, motivational, and provides you a lot of love and everything that you earn for every single day with somebody, a partner or someone that you care about. We come back here and we talk about topics like this. I’ll be funny sometimes. I’ll get serious sometimes. That’s the cool thing about podcasts. This is my show, so I get to talk about whatever I want. I get to curse. I get to say this. All I can do is look at my reflection in the mirror every single day.

Every single day, whenever someone gives me a comment and says, “You did that,” yes, I did. I own every single word that comes out of my mouth. It’s important, especially for a podcast of this nature, and with a lot of people reading. We can all take a lesson from that. We own everything that comes out of our mouths. We own our actions. It’s as simple as that. If we say something, let’s acknowledge that. Let’s take responsibility for that and move forward. We can heal relationships. We can heal ourselves. We can evolve, transform and grow by acknowledging that. This is my podcast. Welcome to Quicktime Fridays. Welcome to The CreateU Experience. Thanks so much for joining. I’ll see you next time.

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2 Replies to “Episode 07: My Opinion On Having Sex (Shocking)”

  1. Hi Brendan, Rachel here 🙂 Here’s some insights and my perspective on sex. Sex is a wonderful thing. It brings you pleasure and even fun. But if done irresponsibly, it could bring you kids, trouble, problems, disease and even heartache and sometimes headache ( haha ). Now, that is plain sex that grows out of lust. But if we look at it as something special that is meant to be shared with that person we love and care about who feels the same way about us, it no longer is called “sex” but “lovemaking” – sex that grows out of love. It is unselfish. It is done with love and respect. Besides friendship, It is a good foundation in building a home and a family. Have a nice and wonderful day! Ciao 🙂

  2. This is the first Podcast I’ve ever listened too! I am so glad I swiped up on your story..

    I really needed to hear this. It was almost like it was meant for me! My husband recently left me, out of the blue. No reason, except he wanted more women in his life. We had been together for 6 years, and at the end I found out he had been cheating on me for years. When he left he was having romantic relationships with 2 other women. Yes, 2 at the same time.

    Now that people are starting to realize that I am no longer with him, the messages are flowing in. It’s like it’s in the air that I am single. It is really kind of disgusting, the messages I receive. Listening to your podcast has reminded me of who I am, myself as a person, and wanting someone to love me for me. I need someone who is going to be a part of my life, not just want me as a piece of meat as you say! So thank you, thank you for reminding me that I am more than what all these men are wanting from me. I will continue to listen to you podcasts! I really enjoyed this!

    Love, Nikki

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