Are you a fitness coach wanting to build your business on social media? Then you need to have the Big D* Energy! Andrew Wicker, the General Manager for CreateU gym, joins Brendan Meyers in this episode. Andrew explains what the Big D* Energy is all about: being confident in your own skin and where you are as a person. Today’s episode features an interesting conversation on how you can tap into yourself and get the confidence you need to step up and speak out. Join in and discover your Big D* Energy!
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Is Big D* Energy A Real Thing? (With A 22-Year-Old) With Andrew Wicker
I’m sitting here with the apprentice, Andrew Wicker.
What’s going on, everybody?
If you’re a fitness coach, trying to build your business, or your social media, you are going to get a lot from this episode. The title is interesting but as we unfold, you’ll like it. Andrew comes into the house and getting everything prepared for the show. I’m like, “Andrew, what should I record? You tell me.” He’s like, “Talk about Big D*** energy.” It’s one of those things where my mom would be like, “Brendan, what did you say?” At the same time, it’s something that we need to talk about because I feel like a lot of young men especially 20, 21, 22 years old struggle with this. BDE, what do you think it means? Let’s make sure people understand that we’re not just talking about the actual man part. We’re talking about energy. What do you think it means, Andrew?
Big D*** Energy to me means being confident in your own skin, where you are as a person, and express yourself.
Let’s dig deep into this because we can attribute BDE and correlate it with the way that we show up in relationships. I always say that relationships build businesses. It builds fulfillment and happiness in the end. When you look at BDE, you’re right, it comes down to confidence within yourself. Boys, men, men among men, and grandpas. If you have your grandpa reading this, you’re going to get some brownie points with your woman. It’s about digging super deep into yourself meaning you have this energy that carried with you all day, every day. It’s almost like when you wake up, your energy starting to buzz and you’re thinking about the day, and all of a sudden, your mind starts working. It starts gearing up and you have a little bit more energy or you get a little coffee.
When it comes to BDE, we have to understand that this energy is always with us. It’s not just at certain times. Maybe you’re at a bar and you want to go say hi to a girl. You got to have that BDE. You got to go up and say, “What’s up?” It’s always with us. It’s generally in a place that we’ve never gone before. This is where it gets a little deeper. We’re going to dig in. It comes down to how comfortable you are with yourself at the end of the day.
What I noticed is a lot of groups of guys joked about it but it’s a real thing that we talk about and we got to express.
Why are you saying that?
Something I deal with, personally. I don’t express myself all the time. I’m a little quiet often. I’ve got to dig deep and find that big d***.
At the end of the day, it’s there. A lot of people also misinterpret BDE. They think that because someone is loud and speaks up makes them have this BDE. Sometimes, there’s no such thing as too much energy that hurts you. It affects you in a negative way. We’re talking about positive energy here. We want this BDE to create this energy where we feel extremely confident. We could walk into a room and know that we’re going to get along with people, we’re not going to allow others, what they say to dictate how we feel, and the direction that we take conversations. At the end of the day, it’s about choosing. What do you know about the choice, Andrew?
We all have a choice. Every single day when we wake up and every decision that you make is yours.
If you’re catching it on my life. Andrew is the apprentice of me. He’s like my clone in a way. He’s living with me. When we open up the gym, he’s going to be going and doing his own thing. We have a lot of conversations and we got real. It’s almost like a training camp every day. What were we talking about? Can you bring it up? Do you remember?
I don’t remember.We all have a choice. Every single day when you wake up, every decision you make is yours. Click To Tweet
Don’t get mad at me for saying this, guys and girls. If you’re a woman reading this, props to you, I respect it. I was talking about how the world has become soft. It becomes a place where we allow society to dictate how we feel and to push us in the direction that it wants to take us. It’s almost as if we try and fight what society tells us in the means that are provided to us but then we give up. Do you feel that sometimes?
It’s almost as if we’re given a trial membership to a gym and we know that after seven days, the trial membership is going to turn into $400 a month but we don’t even go against it. We allow it to happen. That’s the significance of life. It’s the significance of society. I always say that we do have the opportunity to paint our own pictures. That’s the choice that we were talking about. It’s associated with BDE. The reason why I brought up that conversation in the kitchen, there were a couple of things that I was trying to mentor. That’s how I do it. I call everybody soft and now I don’t.
The reason why I brought it up is because we all have the choice to be stronger than what we think we are. We also have the choice in every moment to choose the way that we want to approach the things that are in front of us. I’ll give you an example. I do this a lot. I will have a conversation and let’s say you made a mistake. Maybe you didn’t organize correctly because you’re learning and that’s fine. You’re also fantastic a lot. You got that BDE. I start talking to you for about a minute. After that minute, I’m going on after the point is made.
The reason why I’m continuing is to see how you’re going to choose your way out of the conversation. To see if you’re going to stand up for yourself and say, “I have to go get to work. Thanks for the points. We’ll talk later.” It’s that choice in those moments when we have our back against the wall where we essentially have the opportunity. That’s where I see personally. In my own life, when I was growing up and even when I was learning in business, I found that to be almost like a blocker to my future. I did not speak up. I didn’t know how to confidently say something because I felt like I was going to get punched in the face. I felt like someone was going to beat the shit out of me because of me growing up, that was my situation. I was around people that were older than me and people that were into not-so-good things. I was always afraid. I was like, “I don’t want to say anything to that guy.” It’s in those moments that we get to choose. Does that make sense?
It also comes down to people grow up in completely different lifestyles and you get to choose whether you want to stay on that same path or you want to express how you feel or express yourself.
I want to touch on this because you’re like, “I hit a wall there.” Why? What wall? We all have the power to continue speaking, speaking from our hearts and minds. What came up for you?
It’s more me being in the uncomfortable position of not a lot of people are good at public speaking or they tell themselves that they’re not.
Are you talking about yourself?
Yes. I’m not very comfortable with public speaking and haven’t had a lot of practice with it. It seems like I overthink what I want to say or what I need to say and then run to that block.
Why are you overthinking it?
I don’t know.
This is where all humans, male, female, Black, white, doesn’t matter where you live, we all are faced with this. When something is coming up for us, we do know the answer. Do you want to know why we feel like we don’t? It’s because we’re choosing not to. We are suppressing it. It’s the opposite of BDE. In all seriousness of this energy scale. The spectrum, you have been accustomed to pushing it aside from that when it pops up, you’re quick to choose the wrong way, the wrong path that you lose the other path within an incident. What came up for you? Dig deeper. Start unraveling the layers, this onion. What comes up for you when you feel like you’re going to speak? Think deep.
I’m thinking what if I say the wrong thing? I don’t know what the wrong thing is but what if I stray off in a direction I don’t know what I’m talking about and everything I’m saying doesn’t make sense.Allow yourself to dig deeper and uncover more. Click To Tweet
What if what you’re saying doesn’t make sense? What happens?
Nothing. Who cares?
What do you feel is going to happen?
I don’t know.
You know. This is you choosing not to feel it or not to understand what’s going on. Let’s say, you’re on a stage, you stuck, and you hit a block. What are you afraid of?
People laughing at me.
This is what’s important because what we try to do is suppress it by utilizing other people around us and not taking ownership of how we feel. If I were to say, when people walked down the hallway, they have acne, and feel uncomfortable with their face because they have scars and it bothers, I’m talking about myself. Where I need to be coming from is the acknowledgment saying, “I acknowledge my acne.” I’d be like this, “In high school, when I was walking down the hallway, I would be very insecure about my face and my acne.”
Do you see that difference? The more they become from I is deeper than we’d be able to go, uncover, and embrace that what’s holding you back. That creates confidence and the confidence creates that BDE. It’s like an educator or practitioner. The reason why they’re a practitioner and most are because they’re experts. When they’re experts, they’ve taken the courses, even surgeons. If a surgeon doesn’t know what they’re doing, they will kill somebody. It’s very important that they have BDE. For you, it’s people laughing at you. Why? You know why. What happened?
Nothing happened. I grew up didn’t express how I felt. I was trapped in a relationship for six years. It held me back. It didn’t allow me to be myself. It weighs on me now. I’ve been working out a lot. Dancing with Brendan on his Instagram stories and stuff is something I would never do. Every day I’ve been posting videos of me talking on my Snapchat, trying to get out of my comfort zone.
I want you to notice something. You’re getting deep. You get emotional, which I acknowledged the fuck out of that because a lot of people cannot get emotional. The more you start tapping into that, you feel free. Look at how you shifted away from that emotion and you started going into what you’re working on rather than digging deeper and understanding it. How can we implement the things that we need to get to this BDE if we’re not willing to understand deeply enough? It’s like an offensive coordinator playing in football. If you know the NFL, if you’re domestic in the United States, you know about the National Football League. I played collegiate football.
It’s like an offensive coordinator coming in to run an offense by only knowing the quarterback. He’s only met the quarterback and worked with him for two months. He doesn’t know any of the wide receivers. He doesn’t have a game plan. He doesn’t have anything. Based on knowing the quarterback and not learning about the wide receivers, lineman, and how everyone plays together, he’s going in and creating players. Do you think that’s going to be effective? No. He’s going to be missing pieces. That’s another thing that we do. When we’re tapping into our emotions, this shit is tricky but it’s also very simple. At the end of the day, it comes down to a choice. You get to choose if you feel more comfortable or not, and it’s not going to feel comfortable.
You have to choose to feel comfortable that you’re going to acknowledge your comfortability at that point or that vulnerability and allow yourself to dig deeper and uncover more. If you have to scream then scream. If you have to cry, you cry. If you have to laugh then laugh. For me, for instance, I had to start talking more. I try and make everyone in the group. For you, you might smile, you stay completely quiet, or we are trying people–please. We have an analyzer, controller, promoter, all these different ways that we live through life and walked through life.
At the end of the day, we have to get vulnerable. Let me ask you, what’s one thing that you’re going to try that’s going to help you uncover all the shit going on inside you so that you can become BDE powerful? What’s one thing that you’re going to do? Let me give you some examples. Readers, take some notes and try this for yourself. One thing that I do is I will challenge myself with something that puts me out there that I do not want to do and I try and do this once every few days. I’m on this Clubhouse app. I’ll go into a big room with 500 people. I raised my hand and I’ll try and get to the stage so I could speak. I don’t know anybody on there.
That’s uncomfortable. I have to make a pitch in a way where within about fifteen seconds, all the moderators are on that stage because it’s an audio app, they see me as an expert and someone that can bring value to their stage but then also, I have to try and keep the attention of the room to make sure that they know that I’m not trying to sell anything or I’m not coming from an ego perspective. I’ll put myself in that situation and that’s one thing that I’ll do every few days. I challenged myself. My heart is racing. That happens regardless. I’ve spoken in front of 1,000 people and my heart is racing but then I get up there and calm down for a second. What’s one thing that you’re going to do that’s going to make you extremely uncomfortable?
Something I could do is every day when I go to the gym make a friend, a guy, girl, talk to somebody, communicate with them, and see like, “Why they’re here? What they’re doing?”
That’s a good way because I feel like once you have friends, you get on a roll and start making more friends.
It’s more comfortable.
Did you use to make that first friend?
On my couple of friends.
Readers, if you want to take the challenge as well, go make a couple of friends. This is the one thing that I do. This thing works with the lady. I’ll go up to a girl at the gym and they get too close. I’m like, “Six feet. What are you doing?” They start giggling because I’m cute. I’m using BDE now. That’s how I start the conversation or even if I want to make a friend as a guy, I’m like, “Six feet. We can’t become close here by now,” then you form a friendship.
That friendship could bring so much value to your life. I love that. That’s a couple of examples right there of how to do it if you want to take it on. If you’re struggling with BDE and confidence in general, tap into other shows and listen to how these guys speak. Listen to Joe Rogan. He’s chilling and talking with everybody. It’s not so much about creating confidence. It’s about owning the confidence that you already have. It’s about recognizing the confidence that’s already inside you. It’s about recognizing the beauty, intellect, strength, and happiness that we were already born with. Many times, we forget. It smacks us out of nowhere. We’re like, “I forgot that I’m very handsome, I have a nice smile, great laugh, and I went to school for four years.”
Everything you’ve done, you forget.
You really don’t forget. Have you ever played outside when it’s fall and all the leaves are falling? Your friend piles all the leaves over you. It’s like that. All you have to do is get up. All these leaves are paper thin. The education, confidence, the qualities that you have, all of it is there. That’s all we’re going to talk about, Andrew. Anything else you want to bring up about BDE, Big D*** Energy?
Express the BDE?
Let’s do it.Friendships bring so much value to your life. Click To Tweet
CreateU Gym is about to launch. If you were in Denver, Colorado and you want to try out our facility, it’s super epic. Andrew will most likely greet you at the door. He’s the man. If you were looking to white label, some nutritional products, greens, pre-workout, mood immune, follow me at Instagram @TheBMeyers. Also, if you have not subscribed to my YouTube, I document a lot of what we’re doing at CreateU. If you don’t know what CreateU is, we have a nutrition and software company.
If you’re a coach and personal trainer and you want to expedite the process and bring more efficiency to your game, DM me, follow me, I’m always here to chat. Even if you have a couple of questions, send me a DM @TheBMeyers. We got you. We’re here to help. That’s why we’re on this show and not selling any other brands, products, or anything like that. We want to ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. Thanks so much for reading this blog. BDE, Big D*** Energy. Andrew, where can they find you?
@AWick111_ on Instagram.
We’ll be back for another one. This was a little bit more fun, a little bit more energetic. If you enjoyed it, please do give us a review, five stars or one, if you hate us. That’s okay too. I read all of them. Thanks, and we’ll see you next time.
About Andrew Wicker
A 22-year-old General Manager for the CreateU Gym & the apprentice to Brendan Meyers. Andrew is a young man driven by passion & hard work.