Episode 36: Coming Out Of A Dark Place, Flexible Coaching, And Leveling Up Daily with Ben Green

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Episode 36: Coming Out Of A Dark Place, Flexible Coaching, And Leveling Up Daily with Ben Green

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In many stories of redemption and finding your purpose, there is a certain breaking point that makes us rethink about the life we currently live. For Ben Green, before becoming a health and fitness professional, it was coming out from a dark place of drug addiction and destructive habits. In this episode, he inspires us to get out of our dark places and enhance our life with the help of fitness. Ben shares some of his successful coaching strategies and structures that you can implement in your own life. At the end of the day, only you can truly transform yourself and build that leveled-up life.

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Coming Out Of A Dark Place, Flexible Coaching, And Leveling Up Daily with Ben Green

Find Your Purpose And Run With It

We’re on SpotifyGoogle Store and all of those things. Type us in on any audio platform, especially iTunes. We’re also on YouTube. Remember when you join us on YouTube, we create an experience before the actual show begins so that we can get you a little bit amped up and excited for the guest who’s joining us and also learn something for yourself. We do this so that you can take the next step in your life as well and maybe relate or gain some inspiration. That was super exciting. 

We actually went through a bodybuilding leg workout. I’m not a bodybuilder or anything like that, but it was definitely exciting and I’ve been getting more and more intrigued by bodybuilding, especially when I trained with guys like Ben here. Also rememberwhen you review the podcast on iTunes, give us your email. Make sure you put the review on iTunes so we know and you get seven incredible free gifts from us like meal plans, workout plans and business builders checklists and everything. 

I want to introduce you to Ben Green. This is my friend who came all the way out from South WestUK from Exeter, England. Not only is he jacked and he destroyed me as we did some functional movements. He’s yatted. He has a family. He’s a coach. He is going through some transitions in his life. The cool thing about him is he’s willing to get uncomfortable and that’s what I enjoy most. You have a following on social media. It’s not a million, it’s not a hundred, but you have a good following and you also have a good base in your life and you’re like me. We’re ordinary dudes rolling through life and we have some cool things that have happened in our lives. What’s up? 

I’m good. I’m excited to be invited out by Brendan. 

Ben, I told you not to tell me your story when we were sitting down. By the way, we just met. He came out here, he flew out here to take the opportunity. I’m grateful for that. I didn’t ask what happened and I told you to stop telling me what happened in your life because I wanted everyone else to hear it. Tell us the rough patches and then tell us where you are now. 

The reason I’m here is finding a passion through fitness. I didn’t always have that passion. I lived a dark life. I’ve been through drug addictions more than anything. I started with a little bit of weed when I was twelve years old. 

When I was twelve, I was rolling down the hills with my friends. 

It was a little bit different then. It escalated from there. In my late teens, I got into my biggest addiction, which was cocaine. 

CUE 36 | Fitness And Coaching

 

By the way, you can be extremely vulnerable on this. This is the one place. The thing is that all this stuff lives inside of you. This is what people don’t express. This is shit that holds you back in the areas of your life. You getting these stories out there is going to relate to so many people, not only with my social and the people in the audience, but also your social. This is stuff that people want to hear. They want to hear, “What’s the story?” Get vulnerable. 

Pretty much my drug addictions spanned from the age of twelve right through my mid-twenties. I created some very destructive habits which were no longer serving me. Fitness gave me a purpose. I found my passion and it gave me some drive and discipline. It made me the person who I am. The person I was several years ago was a mess. I had no drive, no ambition. 

When you say a mess, who were you? People need to relate to this. They need a way to relate to this. 

I wasn’t even living in for the weekend. I was doing it any chance I could. It was an escape. 

Cocaine, alcohol, weed and everything. Have you ever done any serious hard drugs? 

No. 

Actually, cocaine’s pretty rough. 

In the society I live, it was like an everyday thing. 

Like London? 

Yeah. There’s still a big scene down there for it. I didn’t get forced on it. I just chose the wrong path. 

Now you’ve chosen a different path and that’s the beauty of it. I don’t want to skip over where they quickly and be like whatever, because there’s a lot of stuff in there. There’s a lot of stuff that someone in the audience or we know someone, I know someone that may be going something through something similar. I want to be able to understand where your mindset was and in that bridge. Let’s bridge that gap to where you took that next step and got into fitness and even more, because I want to actually talk about some strategies and structures to your coaching and how you’re so successful with it so that people can take this in and implement it into their own lives to be a coach themselves. Let’s paint this picture for them of who you were. Paint the picture for us. 

I was basically trying to escape the life I was living because I didn’t have a drive, ambition and purpose. I was a general builder at the time. I was getting good money.  

It’s the construction in the United States, that’s what you call it. 

Many people are wasting space in their life by having all the insecurities and self-doubt. Click To Tweet

It got to a point where I hit some dark times. Some of my lowest times, I locked myself in my room and shut myself off from the world and get high. In time, something switched inside of me and at the time I was dabbling with training but never taken it seriously. I like the way training made me feel good and I started to create some healthier habits. 

You started to create you. 

Yeah, but I couldn’t kick what got a hold on me. 

What did you feel like that hold was? 

The minute I thought about it, I pretty much already done it in my eyes. 

When you thought about getting high, when you thought about doing something, immediately you thought you had no discipline and no consistency. 

It gets to the point where you do it and you beat yourself up because you are doing it. 

You do it again because you’re so stressed. You keep on going. It’s a rabbit hole. 

It comes to the point where I thought, “Ben, you’re a fucking shit.” You start to think, “Where am I going to be five years from now continuing on this journey I’m on?” I’ve told my story never indepth like this but on social media and some places and people have reached out to me and said they can relate. It’s about creating habits, which supercharge your life or enhance your life or enhance your quality of living involved in these destructive habits which you cannot break off. You can break out of anything. You’ve just got to want to end it. You’ve got to want it bad enough. 

What was the breaking point for you? Was it a certain scenario, something that happened?  

Being on a week-long bender getting on it. 

I don’t want you to hold back because it’s this blocker in your life. It’s like, “I just forgot about it.” The truth is you never forgot about this stuff because it comes up again and again. You also need to control yourself still. It’s lifelong of control. You control the situation now and forever in your mind by going there, embracing it, saying, “During this week I did this on Monday. I did this on Wednesday. I did this and this and I was fucked up. The way I got through it was blah, blah, blah.” Tell us because I want you to get uncomfortable with it. I asked the questions so I know you’re there. Walk us through that week. 

BasicallyI actually skipped off work and got a load of stuff and locked myself out. I locked myself in my room. It wasn’t Monday that I did that or Tuesday. It was a whole week I’d done. It was every day. 

You would wake up and you would start going. 

I wasn’t waking up. I wasn’t sleeping. That shit keeps you up. 

Were you playing video games at the time? 

Yeah, I was doing pretty much nothing. I wasn’t even doing it to be social. That’s when you realize that you have a serious problem. This is an addiction. This isn’t just going out with your friends and having a good time. This is something much darker than that. That’s when I talked a little while to myself. 

What was that facing yourself in the mirror like? 

I didn’t like what I see. I didn’t like what I essentially created. 

What did you create at that point?  

I created a waste of space. I didn’t have anything to me. 

I got chills. How many people are wasting space in their life? How many clients do you have that all the insecurities, the selfdoubt and the self-talk come up and they’re wasting space? That’s something that I’m going to put on the wall in my room, “Stop wasting space.” 

It’s easy to get caught up in our daytoday living and go on autopilot, but my autopilot was not something which I wanted to be. 

It wasn’t your autopilot, it was a drugs autopilot and it was the mental side of it and the discipline that wasn’t actually in autopilot. What I’m guessing and from what I’m hearing is you learned, “No one’s going to be able to transform myself unless I truly want it.” You took the stand for yourself. Let’s bridge the gap. During this time, that week was brutal. Where was it? What did you do to get out of this?  

I made the list of all the shit that wasn’t serving me: Oreos, Cheetos, cocaine, weed and alcohol. 

I started with Cheetos and Oreo. 

I wasn’t even eating at the time, but then I started to make a list of all the stuff that made me happy and brought me up. 

CUE 36 | Fitness And Coaching
Fitness And Coaching: You’re not going to be able to transform yourself unless you truly want it 100%.

 

Do you remember some of those?  

It was definitely the gym because I was already dabbling in it but never taken it seriously. It was the gym. ObviouslyI’ve got a very addictive personality. I felt like I’ve got to put this effort I’m doing into destroying my life and making it a bit more of a positive thing. Fitness gave me that. It made me feel good. It gave me purpose, it gave me passion and it gave me drive and discipline, which is something I never had before. It was something that I didn’t think I had because I was always looking for the escape room. 

Let me ask you, where does this escape route come from? How’s your relationship with your mom and dad? 

We’ve got a good relationship. I’ve had a very good upbringing as well. It’s literally the fight or flight shows. It was more so my self-belief and my self-worth about myself. 

It’s all derived from somewhere. You’ve got to understand that. I bring this up all the time, your mom and dad. What’s your relationship with your mom? What’s your relationship with your dad? Is your relationship good with both of them?  

Yeah. 

You love them to death. You’d do anything for them. They would do anything for you. You had a good upbringingDo you have a brother? 

Yeah. 

Do you have a sister? 

No, just a younger brother.  

When you were growing up, did you feel any type of way with that relationship where maybe your parents were giving him a little bit more attention or anything like that? 

No. I had good upbringing. Obviouslyyou speak to people with violent upbringings, who are from broken families. My family’s not broken. 

That’s not what I’m getting at. What I’m getting at is some people have broken families, some people have a broken father or mother, brother or they’re jealous of whatever. I was bullied my whole childhood. I have my own things. Some of people’s issues isn’t their family. It’s actually the people that were around them that surrounded them. It might have been one of your best friends that started having that. He had a bad upbringing and you realized that you were around him but you cared about him. You wanted to be best friends with him and he went through something. It’s something. 

For me growing up, I never felt like I fit in. I don’t know why, but I felt like I didn’t fit in with the crowds. When I go into a circle of friends who we will be doing it, it’s a bit of a laugh, but it was the first time you felt acknowledged. I felt like I fit in. I felt like I had a good group of friends. 

Do you remember that first group of friends? 

Yeah. A lot of them I still stay in touch with now, but I don’t hang around with him as much as I used to because I’m not in that circle. I got myself away from that. 

This is the shit that I love. Why are you still holding onto some of those relationships? Do they serve you? Have you actually sat down and thought, “These people that were in my life served me?” You’re going through a stagnant period where it’s like, “What exactly am I doing with social and stuff?” A lot of this could have a big effect from that. It could be you’re holding on to things that you don’t want to let go of like fitting in. It could be that you’re still holding on to that little thread of fitting in because you have those friends, when the friends that you want around you are right in front of you and you might not even see it. What are your thoughts about that? Do those friends serve you and your life and what you’re creating? 

They’re my friends. They don‘t serve me and I don’t serve them. 

Do you know that you don’t serve them? Serving isn’t about giving. It’s about, do they inspire you? Do they motivate you? Are they on a similar path as you? Are they in a growth mindset? Are they doing this and that? It’s cool to still have them as people in your life in some way, shape or fashion, but not as people that are close to you and growing and growingOnce you surround yourself with those people that are growing and growing at every stage of their life, it’s so empowering. I’ve been through this where I let go of all those other people in my life and I’m still friends with them, but I don’t associate myself very much with them at all. I don’t talk to them very often. I don’t actually at all. It’s because I have people in my life that I know are in the growth mindset. I can inspire them and I send blessings to them all the time, but I know that it doesn’t serve me. When I hang around them or whatever it is, I get it pulled back a little bit and like, “This is bringing up all the shit.” That’s very important to think about. With that being said, do you feel like you surround yourself with the people that are in this growth mindset and focusing on the same type of things that you are? 

Yeah, 100%. My circle of friends now are people who want to be better, who want to do more, who want to learn more, who want to aim higher. Stephanie helped me become even more driven and disciplined. Now, I do tend to socialize with more people who are on the same mindset as me and want more life.  

Getting in shape and staying in shape comes down to habits and routines. Click To Tweet

Are they mostly fitness people? 

No, more like business people as well. I’ve got businesspeople close. As much as I like fitness, I want to be able to build a business, which is helping other people achieve their goals in fitness and trying to help transform their lives. I need to be able to learn about business in order for me to impact more people.  

Your business is doing well, you’re doing well. This is very interesting. You told me about your parents and everything like that moving there. Let’s bridge that gap from when you were going through that tough time to training again and finding a passion. How did you get into coaching?  

Funnily enough, I’ll give a shout out to Luke Woods. He started working at a gym I started going to and he befriended me. He said, “What are you doing?” I was like, I’m just training.” He’s probably challenging me. I got in good shape and I’ve got the bug. That was the first time I’ve got good results. He gave me structure as well, what to train, what to eat. I’ve got a passion for it. It gave me the passion. At the timeI had my own plaster business. I’ve been in construction all my life. You call it drywalling. I got to a point in my life where I was like, “Where am I going to be five years from now? 

I do ask myself these questions. It wasn’t plastering and I didn’t want to do that. I was like, “What can I do? went straight for like, “What earns good money?” That was what I went for straight. It’s what a lot of people do. It could be a lawyer or a solicitor. I was like, “I’m not that person. What am I passionate about and what have I learned about? What can I give back to others?” It was standing in front of me, fitness. I went on and at the time I got back from traveling with my then Mrs. She just became my fiancée. 

You call her a Mrs. before they are a fiancée? What do you say once they’re married to you? 

Wifey-tobe. 

This is going to be gold for me. I’m dating. I’m going to be on the streets and be like, “Hello, Mrs. Do you want to be my Mrs.?” Then you say wifey. You don’t just say wife. 

The minute she’s my fiancée but I call her my wifeytobe. We found out we were going to have a little boy. I was coming up to being 30 years old and I was like, I’ve got to do something about this now.” At the same time, the Mrs. is pregnant, I have my own plastering thing going on and then I was studying to be a personal trainer as well. It was hectic but it gave me focus. I get up at 4:00 in the morning. I prep my food and get to the gym at 6:00. I go to a full day on the site. I then come home, spend a bit on my boy, put him to bed and then study. 

Soon enough you started training more people. How did you take that transition online? 

Transitioning online was a lot harder than I thought. It came down to having a message and trying to put that message out to a certain group of people and say, “I’ve walked this path. I’ve gone from somebody who is out of shape, someone who didn’t have habits and routines to being able to build the habits and routines to stay in shape. 

How do you survive in a saturated market? 

Be yourself. Too many people are trying to copy other people. I also followed that in the beginning because you look around and you see what other people are doing and you try and copy them, but you just become a commodity. You’ve got to do your own thing and have your own message and be passionate about what you do. Know your shit as wellbecause there are too many people out there I see. They can get all the people in, but they’re like a client farm churning them over. I want to be able to build a real relationship with my clients and help them become the person that they want to become. I like to think about it as creating a new identity like I had to create a new identity from the person who I was to the person I am now. 

People do need to do this in order for you to truly transform, not just in the mirror. It needs to start uwith your mindset on it. What most people do is they look at what they don’t like to see in the mirror and then that’s the pain point, that trigger point to do something to it. At the same time, they feel like working out is a chore, eating healthy is a chore when it shouldn’t be. That shit gives you a quality of life when you fully embrace it. That’s what I’m trying to get across to people and not trying to brainwash you. You’ve got to want to do it. I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not going to force you to do ten squats, but does that mean you’re going to do it when I’m not there? No. 

CUE 36 | Fitness And Coaching

 

How do you structure your coaching in a way that people feel very comfortable to continue with you and they know that they have this growth with you? 

For me, the first phase is stripping them back to basics and getting them to understand a bit more about that body and how it works. Realize that I do actually give a shit about them and I’m here to help them get the quality of life that they’ve not necessarily had or they’ve had it but not stuck it. It’s trying to be out in green hobbies and routines. 

Do you have Facebook group with that? 

Yes. I run a Facebook group, take on so many people and we do it like that. We try to work more closely with people. 

Do you do check-ins?  

I do check-ins. Obviously, I have a lot more online clients. I check in with them weekly. I try to teach them a bit about mindset, habits and routines. I believe getting in shape and staying in shape comes down to habits and routines at the end of the day. It’s like business as well. It’s like having certain habits or routines. People lack that daytoday structure. They get up, go to work, eat whatever they want and they feel shit for it. 

What’s one habit that you teach? 

I try to install a good morning routine, setting yourself up for the day. It’s simple little things like even getting up, making your beds and then try to do a little bit of meditation. It’s something we always were very skeptical about. It was a waste of time. 

Me too, I thought so at one point. 

It wasn’t until about a week in, I started to actually be able to create space and it shifted my mindset even more and allowed me to focus more as well. I always try to write down the three most important tasks I want to accomplish that day and cold showers as well. I do cold showers every morning. 

Do you tell a lot of your clients to do the same thing? 

Yeah. 

As you experiment and you test and you figure out things about yourself, you then bring it to people and you’re like, “I know this. 

I’m always the guinea pig, so to speak. I’m the one who will try it and if it works for me, I will suggest it. I don’t say you have to do this because everyone’s different but at the same time, if it works for me, it might work for you. What’s the harm? What happens if it doesn’t work for you? You drop out. 

This is very interesting because this comes up very often. Coaches, mentors or people that are running businesses, they become stagnant with their own growth. I’m a testament of this sometimes. I’m like, “I don’t need to read any books. Remember we were in the car and I was like, “I don’t need to read any psychology books. It’s from experience for me.” That’s like an ego thing. What you’re basically saying is, “I’m willing to learn. I’m willing to go through some trial periods so that I can find ways to level up you as my client. Where does that come from? Why do you even do that? Is it because your vision is so powerful? Is it because you want to make sure that you show up for your client? Is it that you’re interested?  

The way I look at this is I like to obviously give back. I like working with people. I like helping them be more. The sheer factor is pretty much in my twenties, a big chunk of it was wasted time. I wasted my life. I feel like I’m almost making up for it and it’s not making up like giving back to other people, it’s because it’s what I generally want to do. Life to me now is like a game of leveling up. You level up your mindset. I think you need to keep leveling up daily and aim to be 1% better each day. Not every day is going to go according to plan, but make sure you’re giving it your all. Don’t leave anything to chance and don’t live a life of regret. For example, you offered me out on this show and could have said no, but then at the same time I knew that if I did say, I would have regretted it. It’s an opportunity. 

You have to be with Meyers. I’m one of the most handsome guys on the internet. I have these glasses that just purchased. You can’t say no to that. 

At the same time, a lot of people write certain things off and I know deep down they regret it. I made a pact to myself never to live life with regret. 

It's time to do what you do and stop settling for anything less. Click To Tweet

This is cool. You look at leveling up and everything, but nowadays you’ve been talking about, I’m feeling a little stagnant in different ways.” What is this feeling? I want to work through this. 

I wasn’t someone who do social media. I started doing it obviously for our business, to try and get my message out to people and start to get a bit of a following. I don’t know. 

It didn’t resonate with you, right? 

Yeah. 

I already know. What it feels like is you’re not going there with your social media. You’re not passionate about it. The vulnerability isn’t there because if you’re feeling stagnant with your social media especially, a lot of it comes down to you’re not expressing yourself 100%. 

I’ve got a habit of shutting it down, but shutting it down and going into my own little thing. 

I want to acknowledge you by the way, you went there with this show. When I was like, “I’m going to hold you, hold yourself to a high standard. I can only hold so many other people and hold space for other people for so long. I’m exhausted to be honest because I hold space for people all the time. I’m like, “You’re better than that. You can do way better than that. You’re not being present enough. You’re not showing up enough.” You start doing that with yourself. You took that stand for yourself with drug abuse and all of that and then going into fitness and now building a family and all of this stuff. Actually, you said that you’re moving back with your parents before you buy house. 

We move back in with the parents. It threw me out of my routines. I’m a sucker for routines and first week there, I’ve done a whole big Instagram Story around nutrition as well because I wanted to give back to other people and teach them how to build meal plans. After that, my focus shifted elsewhere more so around training my clients and put the old content on the back burner. I found it hard to get back into this time around. At the time, I was just taking breaks. 

You’re back in a setting that started the thing in your life that happened. 

I’m back in the same room as well. 

You’re dealing with it. You’re embracing it. It’s not going to be easy. What you should be doing is meditating in that room. What you should be doing is embracing being in that room. Work your ass off in that room, transform that room into what it actually is. You’re doing that, but being stagnant while you’re in that room, this is where you need to level up. In all seriousness, this is the time that you need to level up. You get to level up and you find ways. Don’t settle for not posting. Keep posting. The thing is that once you get out and buy that house, this is another acknowledgment for you. The fact that you moved back at home with your soontobewife and your child, it’s a testament to your growth and what you’re willing to do to build what you want and your vision. That’s beautiful.  

I acknowledge you for that and going there was a big step. You getting vulnerable and talking about this stuff, talking about this room and talking about the things that happened in your life, you’re going to relate to so many people. You’re going to see your social media grow 100% if you’re consistent with it as well. Share workouts. You’re in shape. You’re a good-looking dude. You’ve got tatts. People like to see this stuff. You’ve got a full beard, I’ve got half-ass. That’s what I’ve got. You’re so blessed to have what you have and to have a family and parents. Take that as a stepping stone. 

always feel like I’m taking a back step at the minute. It’s actually the next step to where I ultimately want to get to. 

Stop telling yourself that it’s a backstep because it’s not a backstep. This is not a reverse launch. It’s a forward launch and we’re doing 70pound dumbbells on each side. That’s warmup. This is not a step back. This is a huge step forward. The way I see it is that your vision is so strong and you moving back in is a massive testament. That’s all I see it. Embrace who you are. Talk about it. To our audience, pay close attention to this. Social media is a platform to be social. It’s not a post a photo and be like, “What’s up, dude?” with a fire Emoji and then get 10,000 likes. You can do that, but you’re failing yourself, you’re failing society, you’re failing the growth of society. You’re not adding value to anybody.  

A lot of those texts and stuff comes from ego. I have friends that do it, like I’m not going to bullshit and be like, “I’m going to protect my friendship for this,” or whatever. I love all my friends. The fact of the matter is it comes from the ego spot. I’ve done it in the past. I’ll put something up because I know I’m going to get a bunch of likes and comments and stuff, but that’s not serving anyone. I would rather get 5,000 likes instead of 10,000 likes and know that I’m serving 4,000 people rather than only serving 500 people that get motivated or inspired to go train. I have people all around the world that trust me with all they have and that will always stay. Even if they don’t comment on my stuff or like on my stuff, if they see me, they come up to me like, “Thank you for allowing me to see what was greater in my life and the vision that I could create.” They created it and that’s why maybe they don’t even need to follow me anymore. I did my due diligence. 

I never set out with the intention of inspiring or motivating people, but I found that I had people reaching out to me and saying, I’ve got back into the gym because of what I’ve seen. You’re very motivating and inspiring.” Motivation is one of those things that comes and goes. If that’s a thing to get you going, then use it and then rely on building discipline after. Social media is that double-edged sword. People say, “It’s fake,” and all this. I was like, “It’s fake if you want it to be fake or if you want to go down and connect with people, network with people and help inspire and educate people, then it’s an awesome tool to use.” This is something which I’m still getting my head around. 

CUE 36 | Fitness And Coaching

 

This is what I want you to do and anybody else that’s struggling with this stuff too, take the next step as well. I want you to schedule out how many times are you going to post over the next week. I would love to see you post every other day and bring it back. You‘re in Denver, Colorado. Take some videos or photos and post them. Take your shirt off, get some workouts in and literally write a long caption for each of them. Can you do that, honestly?  

Yeah. 

I’ll see you posting. Post every other day. 

It’s always getting into this where I was doing it every day, but it goes to point where I didn’t schedule and it’s become, “What am I going to do now?” You start not bringing value. 

You said that you struggle with structure, strategies and stuff like that when you’re not structured. You’re like, “I don’t like that.” 

I’m not an off the cuff person. 

You are. This is the thing. You doing the thing is embracing that you are all of it. I never thought I was adventurous. I thought I was a structured guy like you. I’m living in Denver, Colorado. NowI train however I want without somebody telling me what I needed to do or what I want. I played collegiate football, American football. I wanted to go to the NFL. It was my dream. What I realized is that it wasn’t a dream that I wanted. It was a dream that other people wanted and I saw that and I knew that it would give me validation, so I shifted. We are more than we even think. We’re all born the same way. I say this all the time, we are all born the same way. Where is the disconnect? It’s the things that we’ve went through that we’ve experienced and we’re like, “I’m not this way,” the truth is as you start experiencing those types of things, watch how much thrill you gained from it. 

You don’t need to. It’s not a need. You get to. You have a luxury of posting on social media. My engagement stuff has gone down a little bit. It’s because I’ve transitioned from fitness. People didn’t even know that I owned businesses. People didn’t know what I did. They don’t know all these different things and so I’m in a big transition in my businesses and my social media game and everything like that. I’m not going to settle because other people were like, “What is going on?” No. This is something that I feel inside of me is the right path for me. If there’s something for you that you feel like is the right path for you, and that’s posting in a way where you get your story out there and you enjoy this part of it, do it and not needing a crazy structure to it. Just post. You have a kid, you have a baby, right?  

Yeah, my little boy. 

Do some squats with him on your shoulders. You want those memories and talk about what it means to have somebody in your life like that. The ideas are there. It’s just that you’re clouded. 

Showing who I am and what I’m about is very important. There’s no point in being fake because people always see through that shit. In the first thing of social media, I thought I’d post what other people want to see, but the minute I was starting to transition into being who I am, I am who I am and I will never change up then it’s these past few weeks moving back in with your parents. 

Stop talking about that. The way you talk about it immediately, did you see the shift in demeanor? Literally, whenever you’re on a roll, you go back toI moved back with my parents,” rather than, “I fucking moved back in my parents. I’m excited to be around my parents that aren’t going to live forever, that aren’t going to see my baby be 40 years old.” It’s that type of thinking, so it’s time to shift. That’s all it is. It’s time to post. It’s time to do what you do and stop settling for anything less. What it sounds like is that you aren’t surrounding yourself with the right people because the people that are right for you, stand for that. They stand for you posting. They stand for you taking the next step. 

It’s hard to find those people unfortunately because a lot of people are wasting space, but that people around you that you want are there, you’ve got to talk to them. You’ve got to go to a random guy in the gym, go out to a client. You can even talk to a client about the shit that you’re going through sometimes. I’m sure you do. I’m sure you have a couple of relationships here and there that you talked about. When you surround yourself with people that are in this growth mindset, they do not hold you to a lower standard. My food, at certain points in my life like I would eat bad because I’m a stress eater. I would eat, I would get a voice memo from my very good friend, Gotham, very close friend, “What did you eat? 

Why is he taking the next step to hold me to a higher standard? It’s because I do the same thing for him and we’re on the same path together. We’re here to grow and create us, create you. That’s the thing. It’s surrounding yourself with those people. Everyone says, “Surround yourself with the best five people you want to be,” whatever you want to grow into or whatever it is. The truth is a lot of us don’t even know when we have those people around us.  

We always take it for granted. 

It comes out of support. How much you want to bet you do not ask for support from people? 

It’s the amount of thing. 

The people that are right for you stand for you taking the next step. Click To Tweet

That’s society. What you said, that statement, it’s a man thing. Fuck, it’s a man thing. I don’t believe in that. What I believe in is that if you’re not asking for support, you’re not serving anything. You’re not serving society. You’re not serving your family. You’re not serving your vision. You’re wasting space when you don’t ask for support. Until we grasp that, we’ll never know. You’re coaching. You want to level it up, start posting a little bit more. You already have a successful coaching business. You already have systems in place. You’ve already explained it to everybody, they’ve heard it. 

Now it’s time for you to level up in a different way where they even see the same benefits that you’re receiving. Because once you level up in this way, trust me, when you’re coaching people, they know that you’re stagnant. It’s a feeling. When I’m stagnant, when I’m exhausted, my team knows when I’m exhausted. I’m not there as much. I’m not present, “Where is your mind at? Are you okay? Are you good? I’m a little all over the place. Why didn’t you ask to talk?” That’s the man thing to do, don’t talk like, “I got this, but the truth is I’m failing myself.” Do you feel me?  

Yeah. I’ve never been too proud to admit when I’m wrong or admit when I need help, but it gets to that point. It gets to them a little bit later than they should. You’re prolonging it a little bit more than that you should. 

Those are some of the things that you get to work on now and the audience gets to work on that. It’s writing some things down that they want to accomplish first, knowing that they have that and they set the intention, My intention is to start working towards this.” Let’s speak in form of a coaching business. Let’s say you want to get ten more clients or whatever it is. You want to hire an assistant coach, whatever it is. It’s putting that on paper, knowing that it‘s there and then saying, “I’m going to get this no matter what. What are the steps to get there? I need to post every other day. It might take anywhere from three to six months to grow my following to X amount or to get these many people in.” What it comes down to is the value that you’re bringing your audience and if you’re hitting those pain points. It’s step-by-step. It’s like those baby steps that you don’t even see. You take that first step and you forgot about those three baby steps that you need to take. 

It’s those little baby steps over time. I try to set myself a big yearly goal and then try to chunk it down into smaller 90-day goals. 

Stop wasting space and start serving the space around you with all that you had because it's worth it and you are worth it. Click To Tweet

Let’s go smaller. It should be a daily goal. One thing that I do recommend for your social media is words. Words are everything. Words are powerful. Use specific words, whatever it is, whatever is the word that you use all the time. Who does a good job at this is Jordan SyattHe trains Gary Vee. He has 450,000 on Instagram. He’s a great guy. One of my buddies, Rico, actually films for him. He’s a great dude. One thing that he does is this Unicorn stuff. It’s hilarious. It’s great. He does this unicorn coffee and he uses specific words that have this magical feeling to it. If you think of Harry Potter or a unicorn or whatever, you think of these weird words that we heard in movies. We’re like, “That’s cool. That’s shifting. It takes you away to this magical place to this separate place where they can relate and so that’s what I suggest you do. That’s my piece of advice. If you take it, great. If not, it’s totally fine. My advice is to find a few words that represent what you’re all about and talk about it all the time. 

Gary Vee always says, “Hustle. Don’t you want to hustle? You’ve got to hustle. This is the hustle. This is the grind. Fuck off.” He says the word fuck all the time. These words relate to people consistently. When you say hustle, you’re upgraded. Up this person, up Tony Robbins. When you think of capital or 10X, when you’re leveling up, you think Grant Cardone in many instances. He owns 10X and Cardone Capital. He makes a lot of money and he holds the conferences 10Xyou’ve heard of the 10X Conferences. Whenever you hear 10X, he used the 10X everywhere. It’s on his jet. He uses it everywhere. For me, I say, “Good morning.” You’ve heard it. When someone says, “Good morning, immediately you shift, “Brendan, let me go look at his Instagram.” It’s subconscious.  

All these subconscious words dive into all the pain points that people have and ignites an inspirational feel and motivation to their vision and what they’re creating. That’s what levels up your coaching business and that’s what levels up your family. That’s what levels up your relationships is using those words. Your word is your world. If someone is always saying these words, they’re not going to forget about you. In every post, hashtag those words or like #BenGreenFitness or whatever it is, whatever your coaching program is. Always hashtag it anywhere and everywhere, literally in the smallest places. 

I used to do something. I used to be in my backyard in a house in Sherman Oaks. It’s a beautiful house. It’s a house that overlooked LA. It’s awesome. I had some great roommates, close friends. I did an hour presentation for the Creative Fitness Academy. I would go through and I would flip each page and I’ll talk about whatever’s on the page or whatever. On one of them, there was a world. People don’t know this. This is the shit that I do that people have no clue about. I truly believe that everything that we plant in our world will be our world. We weren’t selling the Creative Fitness Academy until the end of the entire hour protocol for the presentation. Behind that globe, I had to create a Fitness Academy logo. That’s it. 

Nobody could ever see it. No one would ever see it, but the only people that could know that it was there was me and one of my business partners. It’s there because we’re creating it. We’re creating bias. It’s everywhere and they don’t even see it. It’s subconscious. It’s in the air. It’s in the energy. When people look at the globe, the Creative Fitness Academy is behind it. They don’t see it. They’re just looking at the globe, but we’re the world. We’re creating the world, Creative Fitness Academy. It’s those types of things. I’ll hide things that you have no clue, but you saw it and you didn’t even realize you saw it. 

Every time you see it slightly, even the Nike swoosh, you’ll walk around and there’s a random Nike swoosh somewhere. You don’t even realize it because it’s so ingrained in your mind. You know what a Nike swoosh is going to look like. You know all those phrases, “Just dit. You read something on a magazine or you’re reading an article that says, “Just dit,” immediately you think Nike. Now you‘re looking at a commercial, a Nike thing comes on. It’s everywhere. Make your words stand out everywhere, even if they’re hidden. Use those same words in your life. Use the same words to current clients. They’ll start using the words and then all of a sudden you’ll have people joining on that are using the words. 

CUE 36 | Fitness And Coaching

 

You’re creating a movement. 

That’s how you create movement. Business isn’t built just off of being a smart guy. It’s not off of working hard. It’s creating value that evolves into community and trust, communication, love. That’s what community is. That’s my biggest takeaway or that I’ve learned in my life. What’s one of the words that you can use? Do you have anything? 

Devonshire Viking. 

What’s that? 

It’s a hashtag. Someone called me in a gym one time and it’s a hashtag that I use a lot on my social. 

Literally sign out like that. This would literally make me want to watch your shit. Use it more. You’re not using it enough. People look at you as Conor McGregor. Go out and literally be Conor McGregor for a day and film it. If you want followers, if you want people to see you, if you want people to hear you, go out as Conor McGregor. You’ve got all the tatts. You can get that covered up. Trust me, this will bring you people to see your page, hear your story and hear the things. You’re starting to ignite these things and these ideas. That’s where it starts. Look at what you have and utilize it all. If someone offers me money, sure, I’ll take it. You offered it. I would like to support, sure. Even if I have a lot of money, I’ll take the support. Why not? We’re so accustomed to saying no that we forget about the yes. Do you know how much weight the word yes hold? Do you know how valuable that is? It’s 22.4 kilos. That’s a big fucking yes. “Will you go on a date with me? Yes.” It’s the most amazing thing ever. Who said that yes is worth a lot more than all the other yeses in our world? That’s all I’ve got to say. Good shit. I feel like you took this in. 

I’m learning. I never stopped learning. I never stopped growing.  

Are there any questions you have for me?  

How do you manage your stuff being so busy? You have so much on your plate. 

I’ve learned that there’s never enough on my plate. When the plate is overflowing, it’s still not enough because my vision and what I want is so valuable to me and it means so much to me that all this stuff is training for what it’s going to be. If I have to take on this job or that job, I do complain sometimes. I’m not going to bullshit. At 3:00 AM, I was complaining. I was editing a video that I didn’t want to edit and I was exhausted. I acknowledged my own annoyances, but that even taught me something. It taught me to not do this, to not do that, to put more focus in this area of my editing or to work with my videographer a little bit differently here.  

I look at it from my own perspective. This is a learning experience. When I put everything on my plate and even though there’s so much going on and when it’s tough, I’ll complain sometimes. I’ll allow myself to complain. I literally will allow myself to complain and then once I’m done, I’ll be like, “Get all the shit out and let’s grind. That’s it because it serves me. It all serves me. I’d rather stay up until 3:00 AM working on a video editing, knowing that everyone else is sleeping than going out with friends and getting fucked up. At 3:00 AM, I’m coming home drunk throwing up. That right there is how I deal with it. I don’t deal with a heavy plate. I work with it. I enjoy it. I embrace it. There have been times in my life where I didn’t have shit on my plate and I couldn’t eat anything. It was bones. That’s my thought. That’s my perspective on it. What else have you got for me? 

What’s your vision five years from now? 

My vision five years from now always shifts. Five years from now, I want to own a very big gym and I want to have my entire team in the warehouse section of it. I want to own 30 companies. It’s a start to where I want to be. I also want to work very closely with a massive nonprofit and maybe even my own nonprofit. I want to give back to people around the world, homeless people and then also mental illnesses. People that are going through a tough time, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Also in five years, we’d love to start building parks around the world. That’s one of the things. Also in five years, I want to have already spoken in front of 20,000 to 25,000 people. I also would love to be settling down and get married or with the woman that I love, getting ready for marriage. I want to have multiple houses. I want to have a house in LA. I want to have a house in Florida. 

I want to have a house in New York. I want to have a house here in Colorado. I want to have a house in Sydney, Australia. I want to have all those as investment properties. Not just a house, but there are people that live there and be able to take all this money that I am making and put it into helping people left and right. I have a lot of things that I want to do and a lot of things that I don’t even talk about. There are more things to this. I want to transform the world. That’s my motivation. I cannot stop. I won’t stop. I can stop whenever I want. I won’t stop until this world is transformed. There’s so much shit that’s corrupt. 

I want to be able to walk into two countries. I want to walk into a meeting and they’re at war. I want to walk into the meeting and they ask my opinion on it and then they end the war. That’s what I want. The day I stop is the day I die. That’s it. Those are my thoughts. A lot of people talk about it. I did this show. I talked about I fucking did it. Someone said that I wasn’t going to release the Creative Fitness Academy in 30 days. I did it. I did it less than that. It’s not about proving people wrong. It’s about creating what I have in my mind. There’s so much and some people can hear this and be like, “This is motivational. How do you do it?” I’m just clear on myself. I’ve embraced my mistakes. I’ve embraced my failures. I’ve embraced my insecurities. I’ve embraced my lack of connection in so many areas. I’ve embraced how cold I’ve been over the years. I’ve embraced my ego. I’ve embraced everything.  

Everything that we plant in our world will be our world. Click To Tweet

Because I’ve embraced my sexuality, I’ve embraced everything and now it creates this clear path to what I’m creating. I don’t have any fog in my life because I’m in a beautiful place. I don’t have this fog. I have annoyances. I have things that come up. I have this health issue. I have that health issue. I have this in our relationship. I miscommunicate here. It hurts, it affects this person, but I acknowledged those things. I embrace those things and I always take responsibility for these things. That’s where the growth comes and that’s why everything’s going to transform the way I want it to. That’s my favorite, that’s what I’ve learned from this guy named Chris Lee and went through a transformational program. Can you take anything from that? 

Be always driven and always hungry and be humble. 

I’m always hungry, never backing down. To me, it’s a waste. What is the word, humble? How does that serve anybody? How does cocky serve anybody? Being humble means you’re not cocky or it’s an ego thing. It’s like, “I’m humble.” Who cares if you’re humble? How about you do what you say you’re going to do and be a man of your word? That’s all it means, a woman or a man of your word. These words are a waste of space, just like you said it. Humble, cocky, this, that, judgment, all this stuff is a waste of energy. Don’t put the words in the world and they won’t be there. Let’s be all these words. These blessed, creative, determination, giving, focused, vulnerable, visionary, hardworking, loving, you’ve got all of them. Energized, grateful, let’s be those words. Let’s represent them and not have to talk about them. Did you enjoy it?  

Yeah. It was pretty good. 

Anything else you want to say to the audience? 

Whatever you want to do in life, make sure that you enjoy it. Don’t do it just to pay the bills or to get by. Make sure you fully embrace it and you fully love what you’re doing. Life is too short to be doing shit that you don’t want to be doing. While we’ve all got to be doing certain things, it’s that overall bigger picture. Give back and help other people. Help the people around you. Try and bring people up and never quit. 

That’s it. There you have it. Stop wasting space and start serving the space around you with all that you have because it’s worth it. You’re worth it and your vision is so bright. I hope you enjoyed this show. Ben, thank you so much for coming through here and sharing your story to inspire others but also to create yourself and to sit here. Also, to acknowledge yourself and to see what you’re creating and take it from a different perspective. I am humbled. I’m excited and happy to have played a role in your life and that’s what CreateU is all about. Thank you for tuning in. Where can they find you?  

You can follow me on Instagram, @BenGreenFitness. 

Ben Green, if you want to work with him, clearly he knows what he’s talking about. Sign up for him. He is a great guy. He shows up and that’s what you want in a coach. We have coaches that come on here all the time. It’s great. You’re going to sign up with any of them. Ben’s a great guy. Check them out, look at his Instagram. Send him a message. Please, I’d love to enjoy a nice read of a review on iTunes. It would be an awesome thing to see five stars especially. That woulbe beautiful. If you have any questions, anything at all, send me a DM. You can also send me a DM on Instagram, @TheBMeyersBen, I appreciate you. Another handshake all the way from the UK. We’ll see you next time. Peace. 

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About Ben Green

CUE 36 | Fitness And CoachingBen Green is a health and fitness professional who works as an in-person and online coach. Ben has helped hundreds of individuals transform their minds and body’s from all over the world.

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