Letting go is one of the most difficult things that we will ever face in our entire lives. That could be letting go of a business that you love or pretty much anything that you’re passionate about. On today’s show, Brendan Meyers talks about this sensitive matter and gives an example of something that’s going on in his life that he’s letting go of – a toxic relationship. 2020 is a new year with new opportunities. Take a look inside and ask yourself what you need to let go of so you can take hold of and focus on new things that truly serve you.
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Let It Go!
Taking The Next Step
I feel like I haven’t talked to you in a very long time, but I’m here. I’m back and I’m super excited. I don’t know where you’re starting in 2020. You might have some goals. You might be starting a new business and a new relationship. Maybe it’s the complete opposite. Maybe you lost someone, you lost something, you failed or you made a mistake, whatever it is, it’s 2020. It’s a new year and new opportunity. Let’s buckle up and let’s get focused and have some fun with this show. My New Year was very interesting. I’ve been focusing on letting somebody go in my life that has brought a lot of toxicity, not only my business but my relationships and the way I treat myself. The reason why I want to talk about this is because CreateU is all about being vulnerable, being open and honest. This is the tagline of CreateU, if I want to truly ignite my breakthrough and bring my vision to life, then I’ve got to be open and honest here as I would need to be with myself alone.
What I want to talk about is letting go. This is something that is one of the most difficult things that we will ever face in our entire lives. That could be letting go of a business that you love or pretty much anything that you’re passionate about. It could be a girl, it could be a guy, it could be a car, it could be the clothes in your closet. I believe I did do an episode on letting go. This is a different and changed perspective. I’ll give you an example of something that’s going on in my life that I’m letting go of. There’s a person that I extremely care about. I know that this relationship is toxic. There are telltale signs. There are a lot of red flags. This thing’s popping up, that’s popping up. It’s obvious and what it’s doing to me, the way that I’m reacting, the way that I’m shifting to everything. Other people around me are like, “Brendan, what’s going on? What’s happening?” It’s been very hard for me to let go of this person and I’ve been struggling with it every single day.
I know one thing, that in the end, I am going to come out so much stronger. I am going to have an experience that I can not only represent and understand for myself and future opportunities and relationships but also anyone that comes up to me, I can express them like, “You’re not alone. You’re human.” This is what we do, we connect to people. If you feel this way, you feel rejected, you feel alone, I’ve been there. One of the hardest things to do in the process of letting go is not taking things personally and thinking that, “I had to let this person go. If I don’t respond to them, it’s my fault. If I don’t show up or support this person in the way that I say I’m going to, or the way that I want to, then they’re not going to like me anymore. They’re not going to appreciate me anymore.”
We play this victim situation, which definitely is not healthy for us because, at the end of the day, we need to do what’s best for us. A lot of the times we let go of our own support of ourselves, for the support of other people. That’s not right. You should be saving yourself every single day. That could be with your business. It could be with your friend, wherever or whatever you’re dealing with. The first step in letting go, number one, embracing what’s going on. It might seem a little bit weird like “Brendan, will you embrace me? How do you embrace? What’s going on?” You sit with it and you allow yourself to hurt, to cry and to be happy. You allow yourself in any way, shape and form to be who you are in the moment. That’s pretty much it. Even when I’m talking about this, I’m afraid that this person is reading. I still have this resistance. I’m like, “I don’t want to ruin it. I want this person in my life. They’ve been in my life for so long and I truly care so much.”Embrace the pain. As time goes on, if you're learning and taking the next steps, you’re going to see something beautiful. Click To Tweet
At the end of the day, it needs to be what’s best for me, not what is best for the other person. I know that might sound super selfish, but you’ve got to be selfish in your life in order to create what you want to create. That’s the truth. Sometimes you’ve got to step on toes. You have to and you try not to and sometimes it’s required in letting people go. That’s stepping on someone’s toes. Number two, you need to be okay with not having them in your life anymore, and you can do this in numerous ways. One, you can start hanging out with different people. Two, if it’s a business partner, you can focus elsewhere on a different business or whatever that case may be. Most importantly, you need to be able to sit there in your sorrows or sit there in that factor and know that it’s going to be better. All this pain and stuff, this is where you build all the strength. Be okay with it and moving on.
Number three, my biggest suggestion, whether it is a business partner, it could be an ex-girlfriend, it could be an ex-boyfriend, this is a personal experience. This is perfect for me. I mute the person and I don’t like their stuff. I don’t check in with them. I allow myself to evolve. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m a horrible person, so I’m not going to unfollow them and block them. Because I need to work through my stuff until I’m ready to be able to be friends with that person again or welcome them back into my friend group. Number four, I tell them if they ever texted me or they ever hit me up like, “I need time and some space for myself.” This allows these boundaries to be set in. If you don’t create boundaries, you’re going to keep on bouncing off different walls and not even knowing which is right or which is wrong.
Boundaries are important. They represent yourself worth, at the end of the day. If you want to get over it, you want to become stronger, you want to be a happier person, then let go of this person in your life is necessary. One of the most difficult things about letting someone go is you think that it’s never going to be again. It’s interesting because even one of my ex-girlfriends, we’ve rekindled a relationship. I look at her so much differently. It’s mind-blowing to me, but when I was going through the therapy, when I was going through the breakup, I thought, “I’m never going to reconnect with her. It’s never going to be beautiful again. All of this is lost and I’m in pain.” Not only did I grow from it personally, but our relationship is pretty cool. She’ll hit me up sometimes and say that she’s proud of me. I’ll do the same with her. Maybe, one day we go for dinner and maybe we hang out and click again. You never know what’s going to happen, so stop making assumptions.
That’s the third law in The Four Agreements. If you haven’t read that book, go ahead and read that. The third law is do not assume. Assuming creates an expectation that can, no matter what, it will be faltered in some way, shape or form. It’s not going to be 100% what you thought it was going to be. Another step is to trust the process. It’s much easier said than done. You only have control over yourself and your mind. If you keep on dwelling on the what-ifs like, “What does this person thinking about me? Do you think that he cares about me? Do you think that she cares?” If you’re going through it, they are going through it as well. Energy doesn’t work in one way. Do you ever notice if you’re at a restaurant, you’re in a big group of people or a group of friends, you’re at a party, you have this weird energy with one person and you’re like, “What?”
Most likely it’s the opposite sex. It’s like, “What is that feeling like? I feel that she doesn’t like me or we won’t connect.” What’s happening is that the other person’s feeling is the same thing you’re feeling and it’s odd to them as well. That could be an opportunity for you to connect and to be able to evolve to something. What many of us do is we block out all these feelings and connections, we subconsciously let go of people when we don’t even want to. We were never able to experience that or understand it. The process of letting go can be extremely difficult but in the end, I promise on anything, you will grow so much from it. I’ve been there in so many different instances. I’ve had to let go a lot of people in my life, especially if I wanted to create what I’m creating with CreateU and CreateU Experience, this show and the products that we have. Go to CreateUNutrition.com if you want to pick up anything.
It’s one of the hardest things, if not the hardest thing to deal with and work through that you’ll ever experience, but know that it’s going to be beautiful on the other side. I do want to leave you with one last thought. If you ever heard of someone climbing Mount Everest or a mountain that’s tall and it takes hours, even days to climb. Let’s even say a ten-hour or fifteen-hour climb to the top. If you’re going to be climbing for that much time, do you believe it’s going to be painful? To get to the top to see the scenery, the beauty, the nature, to feel the cool air, get you that thin air and to get to that peak, do you believe it’s going to not bring any pain, that it’s going to be easy? Absolutely not. The same thing goes with all of our journeys in our lives, especially with letting go of someone. The journey is difficult and it pains you, and you want to do this and you want to do that. You want to make sure you’re not posting on social media because you don’t want that person to feel like this. You start changing the way that you’re posting and then you start changing the way that you talk to this person.
It starts eating up at you and the fact of the matter is, all of this is okay. The pain that’s coming, you should embrace it. As time goes on, if you’re learning and you’re taking the next steps, you are going to see something beautiful like the peak of that mountain. It’s going to be painful. You’re going to be sore. You’re going to be exhausted, but that’s okay. If you’re staying on top of your nutrition, if you’re staying on top of your liquids, your hydration and you’re staying on top of relationships and you’re in positive spirits like, “This is going to work out. This is going to be good for me.” Letting go will be that much more rewarding in the end. I want to leave with all these different steps and embrace it. You have to be okay with it. Do some tactics, maybe hide their profile, let them go. If you need to unfollow them, go ahead and unfollow them. Stay positive. Think about the future and learn through the process and make it harder for yourself if you need to. Make it harder, as hard as you can because on the other side, it is that beautiful.
Thanks for reading another QuickTime Friday of CreateU Experience. Go to CreateUNutrition.com if you need any type of product. We are almost done with our Vegan Protein. Our Natural Pre-Workouts are coming out with natural, flavored, colored and all that stuff is coming. That’s a big opportunity for us. Stress product, female hormone balancing and so much more is coming out. Follow me on Instagram, @TheBMeyers, and send me a message or a DM. Also, you could pick up the seven free gifts from myself when you review the show on iTunes. Go ahead and do that. I appreciate it and I’ll see you next time.