Episode 97: You Don’t Fear Selling, You Fear Opinions!

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Episode 97: You Don’t Fear Selling, You Fear Opinions!

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CUE 97 | Fear Of Opinions

 

Many entrepreneurs offer the most sophisticated products and yet are still unable to grow, expand, or move forward. One of the most probable reasons that this is so is because of their strong fear of opinions. By always concentrating on the negative feedback you receive from customers alone, your offers would not see the light of day no matter what. Brendan Meyers aims to change this stigma by presenting a simple eight-day journaling process to deliver the best products and continue engaging with clients instead of simply falling into the abyss of insecurity. He also shares a simple process of self-awareness check for entrepreneurs to be able to understand their experiences and trauma that may be hindering them to come across customers in the most engaging ways.

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You Don’t Fear Selling, You Fear Opinions!

It’s your boy, B. Meyers, @TheBMeyers on Instagram. That’s probably where you might know me. My real name is Brendan Meyers. If you have not checked out CreateU and what we’re all about, you won’t even find out unless you read the show. Let me explain. We ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. We have a gym. We have a nutrition line if you want a white label. We have greens products. We also have different memberships, agency and also software that is the heart of our entire brand. If you’re an online coach trainer or a corporation, anybody and anyone can utilize our software. Holler at me on Instagram, @TheBMeyers. If you are on Clubhouse, give me a follow. I’m always talking and chatting with other people in the industry whether it’s health and wellness, building businesses or even psychology. I’m huge into psychology. I feel like if you know psychology, then the business will thrive for you at the end of the day. It’s going to thrive for you when you understand people, understand relationships and communicate, it’s absolutely beautiful. Clubhouse, follow me, @BrendanMeyers.

The reason why I titled the show like this is because I’m talking to you. If you’re here, then you fear selling, or at least you think you fear selling. That’s where I say you don’t fear selling, you fear opinions. If you think about selling, what the heck is selling? Some of us can define it as the process of getting a product into someone else’s hands. It’s persuasion. It’s communicating to someone. At the end of the day, it’s a relationship and communication. Selling is a way of communication so that you can provide a service, product or anything to someone who is in need or who was wanting something. If you can’t bridge that gap, it’s going to be a long swim because that river is wide, and you definitely need a bridge to get there.

CUE 97 | Fear Of Opinions
Fear Of Opinions: The less you understand yourself, the harder it is to communicate, especially from a place of passion, excitement, and authority.

Not Selling, But Opinions

Let’s jump right in. Why do I say you don’t fear selling but you fear opinions? At the end of the day, if we never cared what anybody thought in a negative manner and we didn’t think if this person is hearing me pitch an idea that they’re going to judge me or they’re going to think that I’m this type of person or that type of person, then you wouldn’t be able to sell all day every day and come from passion, organic feel and energy that is very welcoming and warming to our peers, even if we’re on a panel or customers walking into a store. If you’re having trouble selling, you may want to tap a little bit deeper into your own shit.

What I mean by that is un-layer yourself. You’re like this onion or avocado. To get to the middle of this avocado, you’ve got to get through the shell and the green stuff to get to the actual root, the pit. In order to take these layers away, you have to get real with yourself. You have to practice. I’m going to give you some exercises that you can utilize. One exercise that I like that you can implement now or tomorrow and move through the next seven days and test yourself, but understand this. The less that you understand yourself, the harder and the more difficult it is to communicate, especially to communicate from a place of passion, love, excitement, and check this word out, authority.

If you’re selling something, I hope that you are an expert. If you’re not an expert, then that’s maybe why you’re not willing to sell because of your fear. People are not acknowledging you as an expert. Here is where a lot of people go wrong. If you are an expert and you fear selling to other people, then at the end of the day, you’re worried more about the judgment and the opinions that they’re going to create around you expressing your passion. Let’s say you’re a registered dietician and you want to get a couple of clients. People want help with their nutrition. People need help with their nutrition in many different areas. It could be someone that found out they have diabetes. It could be someone who is having GI issues or having IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

If you know how to understand people and relationships, you will certainly thrive in business. Click To Tweet

These are people that want something. If you are an authority or expert, you are not even selling. It’s meeting someone halfway. Think about that. It’s not about selling, it’s about meeting the person halfway. It’s about a relationship and communicating what you have to offer in a way that the person doesn’t feel offended, attacked or you’re pushing something onto them, but rather you’re expressing yourself and you’re giving them the opportunity. You can do this in conversations. One way that I like to engage in conversations when I’m selling them is I like to ask them questions, and I ask them more and more questions about their journey. Where are they at? Where do they want to go?

I get down to the nitty-gritty, “What are your pains? What are your goals? What are you doing to get there? Are you currently enrolled in something similar to this?” After all of it, I say, “Next time we chat, I can tell you about my coaching services. I help people work through a lot like you. I acknowledge definitely where you’re coming from,” and then I relate to them, then I walk away. If you’re not hard selling immediately, you’re going to bring a lot of comfort to the other person that you’re talking to because people don’t like to be sold to however they like to be sold to.

I know it’s tricky. People don’t like to be sold to in a hard fashion, meaning if they don’t have a relationship with you, if they haven’t communicated anything with you, if they haven’t expressed anything to you, if they haven’t opened up to you, they don’t want you to sell anything. When you do build that relationship and rapport, they trust you, you know what they want and you have something for them that is an exceptional offer, that’s amazing. That’s going to help them tremendously. You express it in a way where they make the decision at the end of it, then they want you to continue to sell to them.

CUE 97 | Fear Of Opinions
Fear Of Opinions: If you are an expert who fears selling to other people, then you’re just worried about the judgment that they’re going to create around you.

 

It shocks me so many times when coaches specifically hop on a call with a client and ask them for $100 a month. The client is head over heels like, “Yes, $100 a month for coaching services.” When in reality they could be offering $200, $250, $300 a month. This is another form of fear in selling because we’re afraid of the opinions or what this other person is going to say, whether it’s, “No, that’s a little bit too much money,” or whatever it is. We have to remember something. As an expert, our time is valuable. As humans, our time is valuable whether you are a client or you are an expert teaching something, you’re a coach or a business leader. Whoever you are, whatever you are, your time is valuable.

Once we start acknowledging that as well and we start acknowledging all the insecurities that are coming up for us and all this stuff, then you’re going to be able to bridge that gap even easier, more efficiently, and more clearly to the client so that they can get to the promised land and see the transformation that they want, whether that is with coaching in the health and fitness industry. It can be you’re an employee and you’re selling your boss on why you need a raise. That’s bridging the gap to the Promised Land.

There are many ways that we can transform and evolve from the situations that we’re in with whether it’s clients or we’re business leaders. If we’re a flip flop, we are the employer, the client or we are someone asking for something. When you look back on all the situations where you felt like you had the opportunity to sell, start your business, make some money, build that relationship, scale your greens powder that you started many years ago, build your brick and mortar, or maybe you’re currently stuck and these things aren’t happening. Think about these situations. What is holding you back?

If you're having trouble selling, you may just want to tap a little bit deeper into your own challenges. Click To Tweet

An Exercise

From there, I want to tap into an exercise that you can do. First, acknowledge that you don’t fear selling, you fear opinions. What if someone says something negative about you? Who cares at the end of the day? We’ve all been through things when we were younger. I was bullied. I’ve been in fights. I’ve been picked on. I’ve had my ass kicked. I’ve been in situations that I definitely fear. It’s natural though. Acknowledge that but I fear a lot. That’s okay. That’s the power of acknowledgment and the power of understanding that you’re not fearing selling, you’re fearing the opinions when you’re expressing yourself.

Here’s an exercise. I want you to try to sell in one video on your Instagram Story. If you don’t have Instagram, try the YouTube video. If not, try in person. Sell one time but I don’t want you to just sell. I want you to give value first, then ask if anybody wants X, Y and Z. “Do you want to lose weight in 2021 in the next three months?” Ask that question. It might be a poll, a little message box or if you’re at the gym and you have your little COVID mask on, go up to somebody and start a conversation with them. Evolve that conversation. That’s why I’m saying bring value, number one, build that relationship and rapport, and then ask them a question because then that question is going to almost allow you to enter into their space, their “energy field” per se.

Number three, from there, I want you to relate to them. This is the start of the exercise. After you relate to them and after this entire conversation happens, I want you to sell to them. If it’s on your Instagram Story, you’re going to relate to them by saying, “To answer the question, I’ve wanted to lose a bunch of weight. I finally did it. I’ve been feeling the best I ever have in three years.” You could do that. If you’re in person, you can relate to them in any way. Whatever product you’re selling, relate to them in the question that you asked, then I want you to sell them.

CUE 97 | Fear Of Opinions
Fear Of Opinions: If you’re not hard selling immediately, you will bring a lot of comfort to the other person.

 

Selling them means to offer them an opportunity. Offer them something, but be passive about it. I don’t want you to be so direct. An example would be I brought value to the conversation and I introduced myself, we started building a relationship. I asked them a question. They opened up to me. I opened up to them. I offered something but in the way that I offered was like this, “I’ve worked with many women like yourself. We’d love to chat a little bit more about your weight loss journey. Since you were talking about your goals in 2021, it would be cool if we connect over that. I am Samantha. Nice to meet you. Here’s my number so we can connect next time,” and you leave. That right there, you have created a relationship where they also know your service that you provide and they don’t feel like you attack them or you were very direct with them, “I want you to sign up for my stuff, that’s why I’m talking to you.” It made it seem you cared. You created that connection.

Grab A Journal

This is where the actual exercise begins from that point on your own. This is a tangible exercise. You’re going to grab a journal. When you leave from that conversation, I want you to write in your journal. Everything that you felt in that moment when you were selling, only in the moment of selling, I want you to write down the response that you had. Did you feel bad? Why did you do it? Why did you think that you were selling? Were you sweaty palms? Was your heart racing? Did you feel uneasy? Connect all of that in your journal, all that writing at the beginning of your paragraph and finish it off with why it was happening or why you felt it was happening? You didn’t want them to judge you. You didn’t want them to feel like you were a bad person, you were selling something to them, or that you were not an expert. You didn’t want them to walk away and make you feel alone. I want you to write in this journal.

The first part of it is going to be what were your responses. Were you nervous? Sweaty palms? Did you feel bad? What was all the stuff that was going on for you and then bridge it to the thoughts that were coming across your mind about how they would feel based on your conversation? I want you to write in your journal for seven days straight about this stuff. Every day, I want you to unravel or peel back a layer, get to that pit or root. In these journal responses, I suggest doing it first thing in the morning when you’re getting started with your day, get deeper and further along into your childhood.

Business is not about selling. It's about meeting the person halfway and building a relationship. Click To Tweet

Where does it come from? What other situations came up for you in these journal prompts? Is it the sweaty palms that are associated with maybe an abusive relationship five years ago? Then go even deeper than that. Keep on pushing back, “My mom used to yell at me for doing this or in school, I would feel like this and I didn’t the popular kids to say something negative to me, make me feel alone, call me a loser or I used to get in fights, I would speak up and I would get angry. I don’t want people to think I’m angry or mean anymore.”

Do you see what I’m saying? I want you to take this one step at a time. How did that conversation with somebody? On your Instagram Story, whatever it is, initiate it, build that value, connect with them, sell whatever you’re selling, whether it’s service or product but do it passively. Immediately, go to your journal, write down all of the emotional symptoms that you were feeling whether it was sweaty palms or heart racing. You’re going to experience something. Then bridge the gap in that same journal prompt about what came up for you, what you felt like that person was judging you on, and then work through those journal prompts for seven days.

On the eighth day, because you’re going to get deeper into this, I want you to try and sell again. You can do this with the same person or you can refresh and do the entire thing again. You’re going to get two different responses if you do this right. One, if you go to the person that you already sold to, more shit is going to come up for you. New stuff is going to come up for you or even heightened stuff because now you built a little bit of a relationship. Maybe you’re going to say, “Let’s go for coffee.” You’re going to sit down for coffee, you’re going to have to build value and relationship again. You’re either going to figure it out in that moment or you’re going to end up choosing to go back into your old path or ways, and not even talk about the sale or the opportunity that you’re going to provide to the person at coffee. It could be anything from a greens product to coaching, anything. Try it out on the eighth day.

CUE 97 | Fear Of Opinions
Fear Of Opinions: Judgment is half of the pie that was not made by you. All you have to do is make your own pie and deliver it.

 

The second thing that could happen is you try it with someone new and you already feel more confident because you’ve tried it before and you journaled for seven days. By the end of the second conversation or the second time selling, whether it’s on your Story, somebody in person or it’s somebody at a coffee shop, whatever it is, you will feel more confident. What we are building here is almost a neural pathway of understanding because when you understand more, you end up being more confident in those moments.

Building Neuropathways

If you were to go and study a bunch and then your teacher calls you up to the front of the class and you studied it like crazy, how much more confident would you be in that moment because you understood what they were talking about in the class rather than not studying at all? We’ve all been there, we didn’t study, we got called on and we’re like, “This is not good.” The whole purpose of this is to build those neural pathways with who we are now and who we’ve always been up to now and the future. Let’s build these pathways. Let’s get into places that we’ve never even reached before. Build this confidence and no longer fear sell it and fear opinions. Let’s start acknowledging ourselves on a whole different level.

Let’s appreciate the work that we’ve put in, the fact that we’re even standing up, that we even have a product, that we’re even asking for a raise, that we’re trying to build a connection or relationship and providing a service to somebody that is in need of something or is wanting something. At the end of that journaling, after the eighth day, I want you to write down again the conversation about selling. Then read what you wrote right after that, associate it and compare it with the first day you tried selling. Let me know on Instagram what you discovered.

It’s an interesting exercise. I’ve done it, millions of people have done it and I’m sure, you’re going to see a difference. At the end of the day, it does not matter if you’re a controller, meaning you don’t like losing control. You get anxious because you don’t know if people are buying or not, you’re trying to figure out a way to control a situation, or you’re a promoter and you hate selling. If you’re an analyzer and you’re thinking about things times ten, it amplifies whatever it is. Even if you’re a supporter and you’re always supporting others, so you’re giving discounts and you’re always trying to make sure that everyone is happy around you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what your characteristics are defined by. What matters is the choices that you’re going to make after these eight days and the choices that you were going to make to no longer fear selling.

People’s opinions are only one side of the story. Remember, if you have half a book, is there a conclusion to that story? There is not. Is there a conclusion to that book? There is not. That’s like giving you the Bible and skipping out on one page every three pages. If you don’t have the full story, you can’t come from confidence, expertise or a place of a full understanding. It’s impossible. If you take the other half out of the equation and you build your own half, it becomes one whole pie. Let’s talk about pizza here. If you deliver a pizza with half of it gone, do you think people are going to like that? No, they’re going to want their money back. If you deliver a pizza full and created by you, they’re going to be happy, then they’re going to be able to create an opinion on that because of the services provided. The sale has happened. There’s a customer there. Something has been created out of your own mind, the neural pathways that you’ve developed over the years even in that instance.

At the end of the day, look at it as judgment is half of the pie that was not made by you. All you have to do is make your own pie and deliver it. The pie is already made. The neural pathways have already been created. Everything that you could ever need is already there. Now, you’ve bridged the gap. I go back to that phrase all the time. The river is the one thing you have to get over, and the bridge is already there. The pizza is already there, just make the delivery.

Our time is valuable as humans. Click To Tweet

Hopefully, you take this show a little seriously for yourself and you take the next step. I’m not the most politically correct. I’ll be real. I go on rambles but I’m passionate, I’m confident and I trust myself. I know what I’m talking about, I’m educated, I learn, I grow and I’m always willing to accept criticism. Since I know all those things, I can talk on a show for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 minutes, however amount of time the duration is, it doesn’t matter, and I could walk away with confidence. If someone doesn’t like me or they say, “That guy is stupid or this or that,” that’s not my problem because I make my own pie. My delivery came from passion, love and where I want this world to be.

Take this exercise and put it into play. In Brendan, welcome to the CreateU Experience. If you’re a coach or a trainer and you want to utilize our software for health and wellness, go ahead and send me a DM at @TheBMeyers on Instagram. You can also utilize our nutrition products. It’s absolutely delicious greens, if you want to have a scoop of the best thing in the world, 40-plus superfoods, herbs and extracts, help boost your immune system. It’s been known to help people with their gut big-time like people with IBS and stuff.

It’s been rewarding hearing all those testimonials and reviews. We have a lot. If you need an agency for your marketing to build your business, we have everything from copywriters, to design, to development. We’ve got a lot of cool stuff at CreateU. If you have not tried out the CreateU Gym or any of the memberships that are a part of CreateU, make sure you get on that. Follow me on Instagram, @TheBMeyers and at Clubhouse, @BrendanMeyers. I’ll see you next time. Peace.

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