Feedback is usually taken in a negative way, perhaps as a form of attack. But without gathering feedback and acknowledging them as they are, the path to true leadership will remain blocked. Brendan Meyers lists down five important points in getting feedback, digesting it, and utilizing it to hone your leadership skills and become a better person overall. He also explains why one who aims to get honest and constructive feedback must also learn the art of giving the same courtesy to other people.
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Using Feedback As Your Secret Weapon (LEADERSHIP)
In Just 14 Min, We Uncover The Secret To Scaling (Using Leadership Skills)
Welcome to the CreateU Experience. It’s your boy, B. Meyers. Brendan Meyer’s Full Meal Clubhouse. If you’re on Clubhouse, it’s a super cool app. I could host stages and I do a lot of shows on there. @BrendanMeyers, you could find me on there. If you haven’t followed me on Instagram @TheBMeyers. I would love to hear what you think about this show, CreateU Experience. If you don’t know the motto of CreateU, it’s, “Ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life.” We have a gym. We have software in the health and wellness space for corporate, all the way to gyms, to online personal trainers and coaches. If you want to learn more about any of that, go ahead and send me a DM on Instagram.
I want to jump right in. I want to talk about using feedback as your secret weapon. I want to talk a little bit more from the business side, and then you can relate this to any area of your life because at the end of the day, I believe businesses are directly correlated with relationships and communication. It’s all correlated. If you don’t know people, then how can you build a business at the end of the day? I’m going to go through five different pieces or forms of feedback that you can create with your peers. Maybe it’s your mom, your dad, you’re an employee, or you’re a boss. You have people that you want to hire under you.
It doesn’t matter. These are different ways. Hopefully, this will unravel a lot for you and open up a lot of opportunities to utilize feedback as your secret weapon. Before I get into the five, why is feedback a secret weapon? There’s always negative and positive feedback. One person can provide negative or positive feedback but it’s the way that you interpret it that makes it positive or negative. The majority of times that I’ve seen, we associate feedback as something negative. “It’s an attack.” “I didn’t ask you to critique me like that. Be a little bit more positive.” When we can accept feedback for what it is and understand that it’s not your perception of yourself, it’s the perception of the person providing the feedback.If you always deny everything being told to you, you will never grow or make the impact you truly want. Click To Tweet
Like in a relationship, if you’re dating or married, it’s very important that you understand where your significant other is coming from so that you can communicate properly to bring a better experience in that relationship. If we’re always denying everything that’s being told to us or being expressed to us and it’s more than one person telling us the same thing, we’re never going to grow or make the impact that we truly want. Keep that in mind. Utilizing feedback, you can build better relationships with the people around you and if it is employees or your team. When you can develop a community, community moves everything in anything you can think of.
Think about it. The United States, different countries, when the community comes together, how powerful is that? What’s stronger? One person or two people that are like-minded. You could answer that. What’s stronger, a community of 500 people that are like-minded or a community of 1,000 who are not like-minded? I think you can answer that. Utilize the people around you. Utilize the relationships that you have so that you can take this feedback, make relationships stronger and use it as your “secret weapon” to success especially in business. Let’s dive down these five points.
Number one, shut up and listen. It’s very hard for me to shut up sometimes. I’ve now learned because I’ve got older, worked with a lot of people, had a lot of partnerships, had a lot of businesses, been in a lot of situations and that’s how I’ve learned from experience. However, I’m literally coming from experience here when I’m saying this. I used to never shut up. When you don’t hear someone, at the end of the day, the relationship is one-sided. When the relationship is one-sided, we all know what happens. The other person doesn’t feel heard and there’s no connection, it becomes a shit show.
A lot of your feedback will come when you listen and when you hear the person expressing to you how they feel. For me, I learned a lot of it in my business. I got to shut up sometimes but there are also times where you don’t need to shut up, you need to stand your ground and make sure you’re heard as well. A lot of times, feedback that you’re giving to someone else or they’re giving to you is misconstrued because there’s too much shit going on. There are too many words. It’s not simple enough. That goes into our fear of opinions and stuff that we could talk about in another show. Number one, shut up and listen, take notes.
Number two, this is if you’re in the business sector, at the beginning of meetings, ask for a specific type of feedback from your peers. You could be an employee and this is completely fine. You can do this with your co–workers and such or if you are a business leader, you’re a CEO, executive or in a position where you have a couple of people on your team, whatever it is. When you have this meeting, ask for a specific type of feedback. I’ll give an example. We have a meeting for CreateU every first Tuesday of the month.It's the way you interpret feedback that makes it positive or negative. Click To Tweet
In one of the meetings, my partner and I simply said, “We’re going to go to each person and we want you to give us your feedback on how we’ve been showing up to you the things that we’ve not been doing right that has not been working for you and our relationship,” meaning, they would simply go off mute, one person at a time and express, “Brendan, I like everything that has been happening. However, one thing that has been frustrating me big time is how you’re so anal about putting all of your comments and everything in one thread on Slack.”
I’m allowed to acknowledge that. That’s what all I’m allowed to do. I have nothing else to say. My ego wants to scream and be like, “That’s the way it needs to be done.” Instead, I hear that feedback and now, it’s my secret weapon. Now I know that’s what he is looking for to better this relationship so that we can communicate better. That’s all he’s asking. “I would like to communicate better. This is what is going to work best. This isn’t working for me, so we make it work,” and that creates a secret weapon.
Number three, ask for anonymous feedback from your employees, peers, co-workers, or anyone that’s around you. You can do this through Survey Junkie or SurveyMonkey as well. There are different platforms that you can utilize so that they can respond anonymously. This is where a lot of people love text messaging because in text messaging, there’s no face-to-face contact and you can’t touch the person. If you’re mad, you don‘t see their expressions. It’s hard to judge. People feel secure.
When people feel secure, heard, strong and powerful, that’s when they express themselves. Feedback anonymously is extremely beneficial but so is face-to-face. What face-to-face feedback does is it creates this connection of trust because at the end of the day, if you can acknowledge it, no ego and not fire back or anything, you take it in and you adjust, they trust that you heard them fully, number one. Number two is that you’re a man or a woman of your word and you do what you say and you say what you do. That’s very important. Ask for anonymous feedback.
This is like number three but it’s more so number four, create an Instagram multiple-choice feedback system. Every month or two months, put a little multiple-choice and create the answers for people. I’m not sure if you know what I’m talking about, but you can create multiple choices in your Stories. Let’s say the first question is if you were to say one thing that I need to work on most, which would you choose? There five different answers that you feel you need to work on.
It could be one, the way I communicate to you through DMs. Two, it could be interacting with your content more. I’m not liking your posts. You can ask questions and they will give you honest feedback. They’ll click it. Most people don’t realize that when you click it, you could see who it is. That’s the cool thing about it is that you can see who it’s coming from but it’s almost like an anonymous feel for the person filling out the multiple-choice.
The last one, give your feedback to the people around you. What do I mean by that? Instead of allowing them to give feedback about yourself, at the end of the meeting or whatever it is, you can give your own feedback. You can express to the people in front of you how you feel you’ve been showing up and talk about all the negative things. What this does is creates a safe space of communication. They feel like because you are criticizing yourself, you’re open to growth and feedback from them.
From there, you can ask for their feedback. People love nothing more than someone they can relate to. Recognize that when 1 or 2 persons goes on Instagram, all of a sudden, it turns into 1 million to 5 million. In twenty minutes, 100 million because we can all relate to each other. We’re all using social media. This Instagram platform, it’s cool. We’re all using Stories. Why do people start using Stories? It’s because everyone else is using Stories. When we can relate to other people, we tend to gravitate towards it. TikTok, Snapchat, Clubhouse, a Full Meal Clubhouse, our greens. Everyone takes our greens. You might as well buy them too. A little plug.
If that makes sense to you, then I want you immediately to schedule out your next two months of feedback whether it is going and creating an Instagram multiple-choice, shutting up and listening, at the beginning of meetings, asking for a specific type of feedback, positive or negative. Most likely, you’ll want to choose positive but I suggest negative. Ask for anonymous feedback from your employees or peers and then give feedback to the people around you and then ask for feedback back. When you take all these things into account, you’ll recognize that utilizing feedback as a secret weapon is so exciting and thrilling because you’re always learning. You’re learning from things that are in front of you all the time.When you don't hear someone at the end of the day, the relationship is one-sided. Click To Tweet
It’s not even from a coach that you’re learning from. It’s a different experience or something compared to reading about it, hearing it from a coach, practitioner or teacher. It’s so different when you experience it yourself from people that you can relate to that are around you all the time. It’s beautiful. At the end of the day, use feedback as your secret weapon and you will lead business, fulfillment, relationships, friendships, everything. You will leave because you’re coming from a place of understanding, responsibility and acknowledgment. When you communicate and when you can host relationships not only with yourself but with people around, you win. Game over.
Hopefully, you enjoyed this show. If you did, I would love to know your review. Follow me on Clubhouse @BrendanMeyers. Follow me on Instagram @TheBMyers. I would love to know your feedback via my Instagram. How do you think I did? Whether it’s positive, negative or reinforcement, I would love it. Give me a cookie with that reinforcement. Send me some cookies to my CreateU gym. If you need any software and you’re a corporate business, you’re a brand that you want to partner with us, you need our agency in development or whatever it is, we got you covered especially online trainers and coaches. I can get you on a call with one of our leaders on our team to guide you every step of the way. Thanks for reading. I’m Brendan Myers from CreateU Experience. Remember, ignite your breakthrough and bring your vision to life. I’ll see you next time. Peace.